Weight Of The World
by colorguard-girl
Summary: “Why’d you leave?” He whispered. Tears brimmed my eyes, I let them spill over. I turned to face the night sky. Sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down. Colab xtwilight18x. NC-17
1. Preface

**Thirteen Weeks Pregnant, lost in a day. Blamed by a loved one, left in the dust. Cheated on, broken apart. Taken from her, she lost everything. Can anyone help this artist put herself together again? B/E written by colorguard-girl and xtwilight18x **

**Preface**

I thought I had it all, my wonderful boyfriend Jacob has always been there supporting me. I had always wanted to be an artist but the only problem with that is that you never know when you're going to get your next pay check, but Jacob had said to me that I should always follow my dreams, and to help me he even picked up extra shifts at the shop. Jacob is one of the best mechanics that I know. Then my big break-through came when Aro Voultri, high class art dealer, bought one of my paintings.

I was so happy I was living my dreams; I had a great boyfriend and a wonderful home. The greatest thing to have ever happen to me was the fact that I found out I was at least 13 weeks pregnant. I was going to get a family soon and I thought nothing wrong could happen now. I didn't know how wrong I was. Just yesterday I had a miscarriage and lost every hope and dream I had ever had. Jacob blamed it on me and no matter how much the doctor tried to convince me otherwise I knew it was my fault.

My best friend Alice was coming to pick me up soon. I couldn't look at Jacob in the face anymore. I was going to start a new life with Alice and until I got back up onto my feet I was living with her and her boyfriend Jasper. The door clicked open and I looked up with tears in my eyes.

"Oh Bella," My best friend said as she pulled me into a strong hug as I cried into her shoulder. The door clicked open and I saw the whole gang there. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. All with tears in their eyes as well. They knew just how much I wanted that baby. It was hard to look at Rosalie most of all. She and Emmett were expecting a baby of there own in a few short months. Then a large tan man walked through them, parting them in his wake. I would have known his long hair anywhere.

"Uh Bells can-can we talk?" Jacob asked while rubbing the back of his head. I nodded as everyone walked out. Alice turned around and held up 10 fingers saying she was only giving us 10 minutes to talk alone before she barged in. When I looked back to Jacob, it hurt that he couldn't even look at me anymore.

"Bella I don't think that we can see each other any longer." Jacob said finally looking at me.

"Please Jacob, we lost a baby together, I-I need you right now Jake. I need you to tell me that things will be alright." I cried and reached for his hand, he pulled back when our flesh met, like I had burned him.

"That's just the thing Bella, I don't think I can. I want someone who can give me children. Besides that Bella I've already moved on." He said with a few tears himself but I knew his tears weren't over me but for the child that we, I mean I, had lost. I licked my lips in confusion.

"What do you mean you already moved on? I just lost our baby and you're going to say that you moved on like-like I'm worthless? And who said I can't have children? I can have them, I would just have to take extra precautions, just please, you can't leave!" I yelled

"Bella it's a girl from the shop. I've liked her for a while but I stayed faithful, but I just don't see us staying together. Nessie is my everything now." Jacob said and just like that he walked out of my life...forever. I sobbed into my hands when I felt four sets of hand on me. I looked up and everyone looked at me with sympathy, but Alice was the only one who spoke.

"We're here for you Bella." I blinked my eyes trying to get myself together. "Come on Bella you need to be strong, you need to move on. Baby steps." All I could do now was try and salvage what was left of my life. To try and find some type of control. I wasn't sure if I could, but I was going to try.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do NOT own Twilight!! Please Review!**

**Three Weeks Later----**

It has already been three long and hard weeks since my world came crashing down. I was currently in my art studio trying to find inspiration for my next piece, but like everything else, I find that I am unable to do so. I sighed and put my paintbrush in the mud brown water as my studio door slammed open.

"Ah, Bella there you are. Your little friend said I would find you here." Aro shouted in a joyous voice that boomed around the nearly empty space. My studio was pretty bare, a few paintings here and there, a couch and a small TV. with a little cot for when I couldn't get home or had to be here early in the morning.

"Hello Aro." I said and tried my best to give him a smile as he walked over to my art station. I sighed and looked down. Aro placed an old withered hand on my shoulder.

"Now, now Bella I know you've been having a hard time lately and that's understandable, but I need at least on more painting if we're going to have a Isabella Swan art show. Got that kid? I'll give you three more days but the earlier you get done the quicker we can have the show. Then I won't bug you for a few months." Aro said and I gave a complimentary chuckle.

"Alright Aro, I understand. I'll try my hardest." I told him, my eyes still downcast. He patted my shoulder and walked away but not before leaving me with one more parting statement.

"Don't worry kid. Things will look up for you soon. Sometimes you have to weather the harshest storms before you can find your paradise." He said and walked out. I stood up, still slightly discouraged. I had to get some inspiration, and quick. I gathered up my jacket and my studio keys. After locking up I started heading for the park. I walked for a few minutes just thinking and looking. Nothing was working, so when I reached the park I went to the closest available bench and sat down. I watched all the small children running around and playing with their parents.

I then started to imagine that as me. I was running around chasing a small three year old. She would have had slightly lighter russet colored skin with dark brown, almost black, hair but with deep pools of chocolate brown eyes. I caught the little girl and started tickling her while a man came up behind me and kissed my cheek, taking the little girl from my arms to go and play with her on the swings.

I was drawn away from my day dreams, which could never truly happen, by a small pat on my shoulder. When I looked up I was startled to see the same deep pools of chocolate that I just imagined. With a better look I noticed that the small girl had bronze ringlets but a precious smile that would turn any cold hearted person to mush.

"Hello there." She said to me with another small smile. I couldn't help smile back and put my hand into her small one. I though it was odd though that she was wearing a small yellow and pink sundress, it was a cold fall day. Why would any parent let their child dress like that in this type of weather? She didn't look affected anyhow though.

"Hi." I said and she came and sat next to me.

"I'm Abigail but I prefer Abby." She said and brushed away some bronze ringlets that floated into her eyes when the chilling breeze whipped past.

"I'm Isabella, but I prefer Bella. Where are your parents?" I couldn't help but ask her. She smiled up at me, her brown eyes twinkling with unknown mischief.

"Oh they'll be here soon." Was all she said, looking out to the park at all the children playing. This child was strange, but very smart. You could tell by the way she held herself. She then looked at me and her smile fell a bit.

"You look sad Bella, if you're always carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders then how can you ever trust someone to take the weight from you once in awhile?" She asked me and made her true intelligence known.

"Because it's my weight to bare and mine alone Honey and I can't let that burden fall on anyone else." I said to her. She frowned even more. She got up and took my cheeks in between her small hands and despite what she was wearing and how chilly it was they were warm and felt good on my face.

"Bella, let go and relax. Trust someone to take care of you so you can truly accept your sadness and can move on from it. You can't be happy until you do." She told me with a smile and sat back down. I looked at my watch and realized I had been out longer than I had planned.

"I'm sorry Abby but I have to go. Will you be okay on your own?" I asked, worried. She smiled and nodded.

"Yup, Mommy and Daddy will be coming very soon now." She said and I looked around, the park was nearly empty and only a few of the older kids remained but were quickly being called in by their mother's or father's. But yet I didn't see a man or woman coming to claim this sweet little girl.

"Are you sure Abby? I don't see anyone…" I said gently as not to scare her. She just looked up at me and smiled.

"I'm sure, they're coming Bella." She said. I nodded and began to walk towards the direction of the studio. When I looked back around to the park bench I could see that Abby was indeed being picked up by her parents, who I couldn't clearly see from this distance. She turned and smiled before waving. She mouthed something I couldn't make out. It almost looked like, 'See you soon' but I couldn't be sure. Satisfied that she was safe I walked toward the studio in peace.

I walked in and put my keys back on the hook, then sighed. I had yet to have any hint of inspiration when suddenly the conversation I had just had with the little girl echoed through my brain.

"_Bella, let go and relax. Trust someone to take care of you so you can truly accept your sadness and can move on from it. You can't be happy until you do."_ I had an idea. I ran to my sketch board and moved all of my paint off and replaced it with charcoal instead. I made an outline of a woman and a girl beside her. The woman was hunched over and was grasping her legs to her chest in an attempt to hold herself together. The woman was looking over to the girl next to her with her head slightly raised but a curtain of hair covered her face. The girl was next to the woman but you couldn't clearly see her and only the top of the girl was shown. The rest was hidden behind the woman. The little girl had her hand on the woman's bare shoulder.

I sighed as the last of the charcoal crumbled in my hand. This was a great piece of work and meant so much to me. I was surprised by how short of time it took me to complete. Although I did have to work through the night and early morning and part of the afternoon straight through with no break, it was finally finished. Now all I had to do was call Aro and set the art show up...but that could wait. I had a more important call to make. A much more needed one.


	3. Chapter 2

**Ok so we still own nothing! We loved the reviews please keep them coming!**

**Chapter 2**

The phone felt heavy in my hands, but once I made this call I knew the weight would finally lift from my shoulders. My weariness seemed to vanish as soon as I took a hold of the portable, and I doubted sleep would succumb to me now of all times. Talking about this would be the best thing, I convinced myself. I quickly dialed the numbers I knew by heart and held the phone to my ear as it rang. After the fourth ring I was preparing to hang up when I heard her bubbling voice.

"Bella!" My best friend Alice squealed on the other end.

"Hey Ali." I said, smiling despite myself. She picked up on my somber tone and instantly jumped in, trying to figure out the problem. "You got a few minutes to talk?" I asked when she finally paused to take a breath.

"Absolutely!" She exclaimed. "Where do you want to meet?"

"How about the coffee shop?" It was halfway from my flat and nearer to hers. It seemed the obvious place.

"Meet you there in twenty." I laughed and hung up. So much for having to leave right away. Alice would, of course, want to find the perfect outfit then, and only then, would she be ready to be seen out in public. Since I hadn't slept at all the night before I decided to go take a quick shower in order to feel more alive. I stumbled out ten minutes later wrinkled and steam fresh. I pulled my hair up into a casual twist on the back of my neck and slipped into some Alice approved jeans, matching it with a loose fitting, yet still stylish t-shirt, also compliments of Alice. Makeup too two seconds, a light line of black eyeliner, and I was off. Before I stepped out the door I took a last minute peek at my painting and on a sheer whim, grabbed my charcoal drawing and put it into my briefcase portfolio. Maybe Alice would like to see it. Or maybe I could see what else would be better fitted for it. Alice's ideas were as good as mine, perhaps she could think of something more for me to draw, another piece for the art show, should there be one.

I walked into the shop just as I saw Alice sit down in a corner booth. She stood up immediately and waved me over. I smiled and hurried towards her. "Alice!" it seemed like such a long time since I had last seen her.

"Oh Bella, I'm so glad you called!" she ushered me inside the booth and began talking. "Now I wasn't sure what you wanted to talk about but then I could only think of one thing that would even be remotely important, or at least something you'd be upset about so I got to thinking-"

"Alice!" I laughed as she smiled brightly. It was so nice to laugh and be carefree, but that couldn't last for long. "Ali, I wanted to talk to you about Jake, and the baby." I whispered, fighting back tears.

"Sure Bella, you can say whatever you want." Alice, for once, was not all smiles and giggles. I felt bad for getting her upset, but I needed to talk to someone. Who better than someone who's like a sister to you?

"It hurts Alice. Every time I think about it. I try not to let it, but it's so hard. I think about what my baby could have looked like. I knew she would have been a girl," I laughed half-heartedly. Alice continued to listen, not butting it. "I had been thinking, when this first happened, that losing Jacob was the single most horrible thing, next to, losing my baby. But it's not." I sniffed and swiped at my eyes, Alice wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "My baby was the most important thing to me, and I lost her. I lost her." I broke down and just cried, as silently as I could. I was glad it was the middle of the afternoon and not many people were here. No one was near us, so no one was paying any attention to me.

"Oh, Isabella," Alice was one of the only people that could get away with calling me that. "It's normal to feel this way. I don't know anything about how you feel, and I won't try to pretend I do, but I know you. I know you're hurt. Jake shouldn't have left you the way he did. He's a jerk and you deserve better. I have no doubt that he would have done that, even if you had had the baby. You can't blame yourself for losing your child. The doctor's and everyone, including the ones who love you most, have already told you it is not your fault. Things happen, and the longer you dwell on them, the more they'll hurt."

Every word she said was true. But maybe if I had done something differently. Taken better care of myself and the baby, maybe I'd still have them both. "It's hard."

"I understand. But living in the past will get you nowhere for your future." We ended up talking for a while longer about it before Alice realized I had brought my portfolio. "Draw something new?"

"Yeah. Last night I went to the park and meet this girl. She gave me the idea." I pulled out the picture and handed it over. Alice gasped.

"It's gorgeous." I smiled shyly. She was lightly skimming her fingers over my work, not touching it enough to smudge the lines but enough to feel the power behind each stroke, each detail sketched within.

"It's the final piece I need for my show. I'm calling Aro tonight and then he'll set up a show at the museum." She squealed and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Bella that's fabulous! I can't wait to see all your work out on display."

"Soon, hopefully."

***

I made it back to my flat almost an hour later, during which I had told Alice all my doubts and everything that has been bothering me. I felt so much better. Like maybe, I could finally move on. Three weeks doesn't seem like a long time to have to deal with the loss, but the pain accompanied by it was practically unbearable. It was not too late, so I decided to quickly call Aro so he could get me a spot as soon as possible. He answered, told me he was going to come over tomorrow morning to see it, congratulated me, and then hung up. Cheery old guy, huh?

I started my new project, an idea from Alice, but stopped an hour into it. I went to bed early that night at my flat after working, sleeping on the little cot comfortably since I was practically running on empty, and woke up the following morning to loud banging on my door. Shoot! I jumped out of bed, wrapped a robe around my shoulders and skidded to the front door. I yanked it open to see Aro. His eyes lightened when he saw me all disheveled and three-quarters of the way asleep, then walked on in.

"Morning Bella." I mumbled something unintelligible. "Where's this piece of artwork?"

I walked over to my bed where my new piece and the charcoal piece were stacked together. "Here's the finished one." I handed him the first one, keeping the second face down.

"Charcoal?"

"Yep." I yawned hugely, before taking a seat on my cot. I was being a very good hostess, but I was dog tired.

"Excellent. I'll make some calls and get you that show." I thanked him and then he asked about the other drawing near my side. I gave it to him. "Wow." was all he said. After a few minutes he added, "This will be great when finished." I smiled. It was going to be a watercolor, something new for me. I wanted a softer way to enhance the features of the portrait. When it was done, I had no doubt that it was going to be one of my best pieces yet.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 Review PLEASE**

I was wringing my hands together nervously as people started to enter the show room. Aro said it was going to be packed. I might be a new artist but he said that I had raw talent. Talent that some people only dream of possessing. I think he's a tad bit loony. I can't be that good. As I looked at all my hanging paintings you could tell which ones were the old me and the one that really captured the somber Bella. I always put a little of myself in a piece of my work. Something that I would think to be somewhat bad, but Aro insists it means that I have passion. I think it means that I just have no filter in _anything _I do. Aro spent almost the entire night introducing me to fine art dealers and art collectors that I hardly got to speak to anyone considered normal.

"Oh Bella these are simply beautiful." My best friend Alice said while enveloping me in a large hug. I hugged her back and noticed my other friends in the back waving at me. I waved back, pleased that my friends came to support me. "Thank you Ali. I'm glad you like them." I told her sincerely.

Unfortunately I couldn't talk long with her or any of my other friends. Many people were walking up to me, asking where I drew my inspiration from or what made me chose the pattern, design or shape of a painting. There was one particular person who always seamed to catch my eye. He was a tall bronze hair man that seemed to be always watching me like he was trying to figure me out and apparently I had been staring for too long because Aro noticed.

"Ah I see you noticed your secret admirer. That there is Edward Cullen. He's a pediatrician but likes to collect fine art to give to his mother. He's been asking if I knew of any up and coming stars and I instantly thought of you and voila! Here he is." Aro exclaimed and waved Mr. Cullen over. "Edward my boy, this is Isabella Swan. The creator of these many fine pieces of art work." Aro said and I blushed red.

"It's an honor to meet you Miss. Swan." Edward said and grabbed my hand to lightly kiss my knuckles.

"Please, Bella is fine. It's a pleasure to meet you as well Mr. Cullen." I told him as my cheek flushed red again.

"Please, Mr. Cullen is my father. Call me Edward."

I nodded "Very well." Aro smiled pleased with himself. Over what I had no idea.

"Bella do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" Edward asked as he pulled out a chair for me at one of the few and small tables scattered around the show room. I nodded my consent and sat down ready to talk, hoping I wouldn't say anything to revealing. "So what got you interested in being an artist in the first place?" He asked with genuine interest. I chuckled a bit.

"Actually it was my mother. She always had a new hobby every week and this one week just so happened to be painting. She took me to one of her classes with her. I really liked it and it turned out that I wasn't half bad at it either. Ever since then my love of creating art has only grown." I said and Edward smiled.

"Can you do anything other then painting?" He asked and I nodded "I can sculpt and do carvings, but my true talent is painting. It's what I feel most comfortable doing" I told him.

"I'm sure you didn't always want to be an artist. What was your dream before choosing this position?" He asked and I smiled, enjoying this easy conversation.

"I had always wanted to do something involving writing. I was always very creative. I just express it in art instead of through a story." I responded. "I'm very new to this, but this seams oddly like an interview." I noted and he laughed.

"Sorry Bella but I like to ask questions. It lets me learn a bit about the artist and how they think." He said and I nodded. We kept at the easy conversation for what seamed like hours. At one point of the night Alice came over to say good night and that she and the gang were leaving, but then Edward and I again fell back into our conversation. I hardly noticed when the show room had drastically decreased in the amount of attendance. Edward looked at his watch and frowned which caused me to frown.

"I'm sorry Bella. I have really enjoyed our time together but it's extremely late and the show room is closing soon." He said and I nodded.

"Of course." I said and stood up as well as he did and watched as his figure started to retreat to the door. He paused and walked back over to me.

"Aren't you leaving as well Bella?" He asked. I shook my head no.

"I can't. I have to take my art work that wasn't sold back to my flat." I said and he started to get worry lines in his brow.

"Well let me help Bella. The city is a dangerous place and I would feel much better if I went with you." He said and I blushed but nodded. I went around the room and was surprised when not much of my work remained.

Edward and I made it to my flat and I invited him in. I sat down and started shuffling through the canvases, hoping that this one painting still remained. I was pleased to see the woman and girl charcoal sketch still in my possession. I smiled and hung it on one of my walls before turning back to Edward.

"Thank you so much for coming with me to my flat. You really didn't need to." I told him and he dismissed my thanks.

"Bella I could not let you roam these streets knowing something could have happened to you." He said and started walking towards the door.

"Edward, at least let me call you a cab. It would make _me_ feel much better as well." I said and he reluctantly agreed. When the cab approached Edward kissed my knuckles once more and promised he would be seeing me soon. I closed the door behind him after making sure he got in the cab and leaned into the door. Then suddenly a very large smile broke out across my face. It surprised me because I haven't been this happy in a while...It felt good.  
**Please Review it would be much appreciated**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 Please Review me and xtwilight18x had worked extremely hard on this and were hardly getting any love so please REVIEW!!!**

I worked on my new watercolor that night, not being able to get to sleep after my little encounter with Edward. It was a portrait, and I knew the one thing from it that was missing. The eyes. I quickly sketched them out, erasing and redrawing until it was perfect. Finally they were. The portrait was done, aside from painting it. I checked the clock near me. Nearly one in the morning. I had to get some sleep sometime. I'd paint it tomorrow night. I closed up everything and put the drawing in a folder to keep it from smudging or getting messed up. I fell asleep and woke up not long afterwards from a very, _vivid, _dream. I had trouble getting back to sleep, so started on a new picture related to my dream. It was a spacious house, out in the forest. Very open, very safe. Beautiful. It was a pencil sketch, and was going to stay that way. I finished it around nine, finally stopping to have something to eat.

While I was munching on my cereal my cell rang. Rose. "Hey Rose. What's up?"

"Jeez Bella, your art yesterday was amazing! I've never seen anything like it!" I laughed and continued to eat while she told me Alice wanted to treat us both to a relaxing day at the spa. She had already made the appointment so I had to go. I told her I'd be there at twelve.

I took a long relaxing shower before blow drying my hair and quickly straightening it. I had an hour to get there, and since it was only fifteen minutes away I decided to call Aro and see how things were going.

"Ah, my beautiful Bella has called."

"Yes Aro, I was wondering how everything went last night." I smiled as I began playing with a lock of my hair.

"Excellent my dear! I'm thinking of holding another for you shortly, about a month or two from now, to sell the leftovers and anything new you can create. Sound good?"

"Fabulous. I can't wait."

"That's what I love to hear. Oh, and before I forget, the young Mr. Cullen called earlier today, asking for your number. I gave it to him. I hope that wasn't a bother?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"No, thank you. No bother at all." I grinned and hung up. Grabbing my keys I headed out and made my way to the spa.

* * *

Rosalie and Alice were waiting for me upon my arrival, three minutes late. The phone conversation with Aro put me into lunch traffic I hadn't thought would be a problem. "Sorry I'm late!" I called as I rushed over, clutching my bag tightly and glad that I had worn no heel shoes. "I got stuck in traffic."

"Never mind about the traffic, tell us about the guy last night!" Rose nodded her head in agreement.

"Inside, okay?" Despite where we were, I knew I wanted to tell them here while we were relaxing. It'd be the best place to unwind and let them know how everything went.

"Alright, alright, let's hurry then! Mud baths are first." We checked in and were sent to a room to change, then led to the mud room. Once we were all in our bathing suits and in a big pool filled with mud, we began to gossip.

"Edward, huh?" Rose asked as she sunk up to her neck in the thick gooey mud. "Mmm, great name." she sighed and closed her eyes. "How'd he like your paintings?"

"Loved them, I'm sure." Alice too, relaxed into the mud as she talked. "You guys talked for _hours_ before I even walked over and told you we were leaving."

"And he helped me home!" I tried to bite back my all too Alice-like squeal. "He didn't want me going home alone that late at night, so he helped carry my things back with me."

Rosalie looked up. "And?"

"That's it. Nothing happened."

"Can't you tell Rose? Once they do something, she'll have that glow." Alice smirked over at me before stretching her arms in front of her.

"Girls, it's not like _that_!" I stressed.

"Well, maybe it could be. Eventually." Rose acknowledged.

"No, I seriously doubt it. I mean he didn't even ask for my number, he had to get it from Aro and-"

"He asked for your number?" They both cried, sitting up straight and splattering mud. I shielded my eyes as other mud swimmers looked at them, shocked that anyone could raise their voices in a perfectly peaceful spot. I hushed them and smiled at anyone looking our way.

"He didn't ask me, but my boss." I tried to explain.

"So he's gonna call?" Alice asked excitedly.

"He might, or he might want something painted, or sculpted. It could just be a business thing."

"Not the way he was staring at you yesterday sweetie."

"What are you talking about Rose?"

"I'm talking about the way he couldn't take his eyes off of you, even before you guys started talking. Or the fact that he was continuously smiling during the entire conversation you two had, and let's face it Bella, you aren't that funny."

"Haha." I smiled, knowing they were right. I wasn't funny, so why had he kept smiling? I remember all we talked about was work, what he did, nothing that I could even make a bad joke about. Nothing I did make a joke about. It was serious talk…so… "So, what do you think this means?" I asked.

"I think," Alice cut Rose off, "That sooner or later he's gonna call. And it's not going to be just about work."

"Ladies," the women in charge, Stacy, came to get us. "Your massages are ready."

* * *

I was so relaxed when I left the spa that I decided a nice trip to the local Barnes and Noble would do me some good. I needed a new book, and what better a day to get one than today? Walking around, I tried to find something I didn't already own, or have never read. I knew some good authors but they didn't have anything new out yet. I was walking down the 'R' aisle, lightly running my fingers through the array of spines lined up, when I felt a presence behind me. I tried to ignore it, continuing to walk up and down. I still felt like I was being watched. I looked around behind me, but nothing looked suspicious. I quickly walked over to the 'E' aisle and stood with my back to the shelf, waiting. Not long after that a guy rounded the corner. No way.

"Edward?" what he heck was he doing? "What the heck are you doing, sneaking around?"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, a slight smile twitching his lips.

"Oh, um. Nothing. Never mind." Well I felt like an idiot. I turned to walk away but Edward caught my hand in his. Just holding on long enough to get my attention before dropping it.

"I'm sorry. I saw you when you first walked in and didn't know if you'd want to talk to me."

"So you were spying on me?"

"Not necessarily. I was more, waiting for an opportunity."

"And when I caught you, that's a chance?"

"Now you know I'm here. It'd be pretty rude of me to walk away without talking to you, don't you agree." His voice was smooth and compelling. I was falling under a spell.

"Yes, it would be, rude that is." His smile widened. I waited a moment more before taking a risk. "So, did you need something?"

"Actually I was going to call and ask, but this seems a good a place as any to make the offer."

"Offer?"

"My mother was at your show yesterday night, and once I told her that I had actually gotten to have a conversation with the one and only Isabella Swan, she asked me to practically beg you to paint her a picture. She bought two of yours yesterday, and wants another."

"I'd love to. What would she want it to be of?"

"I'm not sure, but I called your boss earlier and he gave me your number, I hope that was okay," at my nod he continued, "so I gave it to my mother. She said she was going to call you to discuss details, money, and anything else as well. I'm just pitching you the idea to see if you would be interested…"

"Sure. Tell you mother to call me as soon as she can and we can meet up somewhere."

"She'd really appreciate that."

I smiled at him. "It'd be my pleasure."

"As well as mine."

"Cute and Funny." I mentally slapped myself. Did I really just say that? He smiled, seeming to know what I was thinking.

"Sexy and Sweet." I blushed and looked away. I began walking away, cursing myself for acting so stupid, and Edward for being so sweet. I looked at more books when I still felt him behind me. I quirked an eyebrow and turned around. He was looking right at me.

"Something wrong?" I asked, curious to figure out why he was continuing to follow me.

"Well after a comment like mine, I was wondering if I should just go for it, or wait for another time."

"Go for..?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"Isabella," he asked, staring me straight in the eye. "Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night?"

My heart fluttered and my knees quaked. This guy was asking me out? This totally hot guy? What should I say, what should I do? I should say something before he thinks I don't want to go. "I'd love to." I told him.

"Fabulous." He answered. "I'll pick you up at seven then?"

"Sounds great." I assured him.

"See you tomorrow night Isabella." He smiled, kissed my hand and walked away from me and the books.

"Bye Edward." I whispered to his departing back. I smiled, did a small leap for joy, got a few stares and quickly picked out a book. I left in a hurry and got back to my flat in record time. I couldn't wait for tomorrow night!

**_Please Review_**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 Please Review!!**

I was so excited for our date tomorrow I couldn't keep the wide smile off my face. I hailed a cab, quickly got in and called Alice on her phone, though it just kept ringing and ringing. Finally her voice mail popped up.

"Hey this is Alice , I can't come to the phone right now so leave your name, number and a short message and I'll be sure to get back with you...BEEP."

Then I did something I thought I would never do. I let out an Alice type squeal. " Alice you will not believe what happened after I left the spa. I went to Barnes and Nobles to pick up some books and I ran into Edward and...he asked me out to dinner and I said yes! So call me back. Love ya, bye." I said and snapped my phone shut. The cab stopped in front of my flat and I got out. As I reached to unlock my door I heard my home phone ring. I quickly unlocked the door and just barely made it in time to answer the phone.

"Hello?" I panted and put down my bags before taking off my jacket.

"Hello this is Esme Cullen. Is this Isabella Swan, did I call at a bad time?" She asked. I took a deep breath and was able to answer.

"Yes this is her, sorry I just stepped in and no, it's not a bad time." I said now that I had my breath back.

"Wonderful. I must say I was greatly impressed with your art work and wanted to know if you could paint one for me,"

I smiled at this, "Thank you and I would love to paint you something." I said with a smile I heard a girlish squeal.

"Thank you very much. What is the normal price range?" Esme asked.

"It depends on what type of painting you want and what size canvas you want."

"Hmmm. I would want a large canvas, and could you use pastels? I love the colors that pastels can offer." Esme said with a sigh. I nodded, even though she couldn't see me. Pastels were also my favorite for certain paintings.

"So with that I'd say that the price could be anywhere from $150-$200." I said warningly.

"Oh that's fine. Tomorrow can we meet up at a little coffee shop so I can give you my ideas?" She asked.

"That's' fine. I'll see you tomorrow." and we hung up.

I sighed and plopped down onto my cot and let out a happy sigh. My life is turning around. I thought to myself. My art show went great, I have someone who wants me to paint a painting for them and let's not forget about my date, as well. I noticed how late it was and started to settle into bed, when my phone started to ring. I knew it was Alice but I also knew she would talk for hours so I let it ring. My eyes started to drift close and I let sleep over take me.

I woke up to pounding at my flat door. With a groan I got up and shuffled to the door. I opened it to a pissed off Alice . Alice flung my door the rest of the way open and walked in with bags in both hands. "What do you want Alice ? It's 6:30 in the morning and I have some place very important to be at by 10:00 and I don't want to be sleep deprived for it." I stated as I watched Alice glare at me.

"Well that's not my problem missy. First of all I called back last night and you never answered. Now we have to figure out what you're going to wear for both your things, so what's the first thing on the list?" Alice asked, waving her hand dismissively. I yawned and went for some juice in my little mini-fridge.

"Someone from the art show wants me to paint them a picture." I smiled and sipped at my OJ.

Alice gasped. "That's wonderful Bella! I know just what to dress you in for both." She grabbed some black stretchy paints that were comfortable but still nice looking and threw it at me. She then handed me a white light sweater with a gray vest. I tried it on and loved it. I walked out and struck a pose for Alice and she chuckled and clapped. "Oh Bella, that looks wonderful. It's business like but still classy and not 'I have a stick shoved up my ass' looking, I also know the perfect outfit for your date too. Do you know where you're going or what time he's picking you up?" she asked and shrugged as I looked at the outfit in a mirror. I had to agree with Alice I did look nice.

"I know he's picking me up around seven but I don't know where we're going." I said and she nodded.

"Fine, fine so what are we doing today?" Alice asked and sat on a small couch and turned on the small TV to watch the news. "We Alice , I don't know, but after my meeting with Esme I'm going to a special art store to pick up the supplies I'll need. Then I'll probably start the outline for the painting and then get ready for mine and Edward's date." I said with a shrug. Alice moaned and rolled her eyes.

"Ugh Bella come on we need to go out before your life is completely over taken with a guy, just like it was with Jacob." Alice said before she could stop herself. Tears stung my eyes but I looked away and fidgeted with my vest.

"It won't be like it was with...Ja-Jake. I won't let it...happy?" I asked, slightly bitter. Alice 's eyes widened even more and she instantly got up and enveloped me in a hug.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I didn't mean to sound insensitive. No, it wouldn't make me happy though. You need to get back out there and make yourself open so you can move on...I'm sorry Bella. I just want you to be happy. I'll sacrifice all of our girl time together just to see you generally happy again." I let a few tears escape before I let go of Alice . I looked at the clock and realized time had gone by really fast.

"I know Alice and I understand. I'm sorry I got so upset. Anyway I really have to leave. You can stay at my flat. I shouldn't be too long and when I get back we can do something together." I said as I grabbed my purse and slipped on some black flats and grabbed my jacket on my way out. I didn't lock my door knowing if Alice did leave she'd lock up for me. I was walking to the coffee shop that Esme had e-mailed to me when I swore I saw that little girl again. I shook it off and started walking again. I soon came to the little coffee shop and walked through, listening to the tingling of a bell. I looked around and in a small booth a medium sized woman with hazel eyes and caramel hair was waving frantically. I smiled and waved as I walked over to her. She stood up and hugged me as I awkwardly hugged her back.

"Hello there Isabella. I'm Esme Cullen." She said as we sat down.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen, but please call me Bella." She smiled and nodded.

"Fine, but then I insist you call me Esme. I know this is getting right to the point but I don't have much time today unfortunately, so I was thinking that this picture would make a good portrait." Esme said while sliding over a picture of three happy young people. A closer look and I could see Esme as a younger woman with a handsome blond man next her. A little boy with his two front teeth missing was hugging a little brown teddy to his chest. Esme sighed happily "That was Edward when he was ten. He loved that little bear and would never let it out of his sight, would hardly even put the little thing down. I think it's because he wanted a little sibling, but that just couldn't happen. Anyway I think he still has that little bear somewhere...so do you think you could turn that picture into a painting?" Esme asked and I nodded.

"Yes...you have a very beautiful family." I whispered. Esme got a dreamy look as if she was remembering a distant past.

"Yes, I was very blessed to get my husband and Edward...unfortunately I must be going now. I hope to see you soon Bella." Esme said then walked out. I stayed and ordered a latte with whipped cream and chocolate shavings on top. As I sipped my latte I couldn't help but stare at the happy family in the photo. That could have been me. I'm not upset over losing Jake. I'm upset that I lost my baby, a piece of me. I was supposed to take care of her and keep her safe...but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I put away the picture in a folder so it wouldn't get messed up or ruined. I paid for my latte and started walking home.

When I got home my door was unlocked, so I figured Alice was still there. I walked in and noticed the lights were all out. I put the folder on a little stand and went to turn on the lights. As I did I saw all of my friends were there. They had put up a congratulations banner and had set up food and drinks. Honestly, I was so startled I almost dropped my latte. I put down the cup (to prevent any other possible mishaps) and walked into the room with everyone else. "Thanks guys, really, you didn't have too." I said as I got teary eyed.

Emmett came over and gathered me into a large bear hug. "Of course we did Bells. You did a fantastic job. Even though none of us were able to talk to you, hardly all night." Emmett said as he put me down and I turned bright red.

"Let's get this party started!" Alice yelled and jumped on my coffee table. Jasper rolled his eyes and picked the little pixie up and put her on the floor.

"Let's not be too wild Alice ." Jasper said in his little Texas accent. How a Texan ended up in Seattle I'll never know. We all ate, drank (non-alcoholic, if Rosalie couldn't drink she wouldn't let us either) and reminisced on old times since we all practically grew up together. "Do you remember the time when Bella tried to sneak out and fell out of her tree and broke her leg and needed Charlie to drive her to the hospital?" Emmett said while laughing and crying.

Alice nodded her head frantically, "Yea Charlie was so mad he grounded her for so long and then he cut the old tree down."

I noticed that it was getting somewhat late and started to clean up. "Whatcha doing Bella?" Alice asked.

"Cleaning up. I need to get ready for my date soon." Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed a cup from my hand and put it down.

"Bella the boys will clean up me while Rose and I help you get ready."

"Awww…" I heard Emmett whine as Alice and Rose dragged me to my room.

"Ok Bella you get in the shower. Rose and I will find the perfect panties to match your outfit!" I knew not to fight, I would lose anyway, and it would just lead to taking much longer to get ready. I sighed as the warm water fell on my aching muscles. I lathered up in my aroma therapy strawberry body wash and rinsed it all out before I shampooed and conditioned my hair. I stepped out and wrapped up in a nice blue plush towel. On the bathroom counter was a light blue bra with a darker blue lace surrounding it (a nice contrast of colors) with a matching pair of panties. I walked out and noticed Rose was getting a curling iron ready with other hair products and make-up while Alice was waiting to pounce on me.

"Ok so since I don't know where your going I decided to go with some nice black slacks and a silk button down purple shirt and you can wear you black flats too...I guess." She said grudgingly. I smiled at her and started to get dressed. When I was done Rose pushed me into the vanity seat and immediately started to blow dry and curl my hair.

"Gosh, pushy aren't you?" I asked and she chuckled.

"Kind of. Hey, maybe if you're lucky we'll have a new and permanent member of the group." Rose said and winked.

"It's a little soon to be thinking that far ahead." I chastised.

"Ah but Bells you didn't see the sparks practically flying from your asses like we did." she said and patted my shoulder. "All done." and then the real torture...make-up.

When everything was said and done it was 6:50. Edward was going to be here in ten minutes. "Now Bells remember, no glove no love, tell him to wrap his shit and most of all go to his place so you can sneak out...just watch out for the trees." After Emmett said that Rose smacked him on the back of the head.

"Honestly Em, I'm not going to give it up on the first date, you know me better then to think I would do that." I told him and his eyes softened.

"I know squirt. I was just messing with ya, have fun!" Emmett said and kissed my cheek just as Edward knocked on my door. I opened it and smiled at Edward. He had on black dress paints and a blue button down shirt.

"Hello Bella. I must say you look absolutely stunning." He said and grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. "Ready to go?" He asked as my face lit up.

"Thank you and yeah I'm ready. Oh and guys, I want my placed cleaned up by the time I get back." I warned and everyone chuckled as I closed the door.

"Did I miss a party?" Edward asked as he led me to a nice fancy Silver Volvo.

"No just a get together to celebrate my art show." I said and Edward nodded. We drove for maybe half an hour then we stopped in front of nice seafood restaurant.

"I don't know if you like seafood or not so I just took a chance."

I smiled. "Seafood is fine." Edward grabbed my hand and we laced our fingers together and walked right to a seat with menus already in place.

"I called ahead and made reservations, so they were expecting us." He said as a waiter came over. I ordered the lobster bisque and Edward ordered a seafood combo. I asked him things about his job that I wasn't able to ask before and he asked me a few more things as our food was delivered. I took one bite of my lobster and moaned, it was that great.

"Mmm this is amazing." I said, watching Edward swallow hard.

"This place does some of the best lobster in all of Seattle ." He said and took a bite of his shrimp. Soon we were finished and ordered fried pudding, something I've never tried and Edward insisted was excellent. I looked out the window on the boardwalk and saw a small carnival.

"Edward have you ever been to a carnival?" I asked and he shook his head no, I gasped in shock.

"Nope, I just never got a chance to go." He said and shrugged as I sighed in disappointment.

"Well then after dessert we're going to the little carnival there." I said and pointed. Edward smiled but nodded. I looked back at Edward and noticed someone familiar, a large muscled man with long thick black hair. Jacob. The tears started to come. Next to him was a petite woman with medium light brown hair with red highlights, but what I really noticed was her rounded belly. The sobs came next. It was like my world was crashing all around me. That woman was around three months pregnant. I was only 13 weeks when I lost my baby...Jacob cheated on me and when he though I couldn't give him children he went with the one he knew could.

"Bella are you ok?" I faintly heard Edward ask as he looked on with concerned eyes. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran from my seat.

"Bella!" Edward shouted and started to follow. I ran past Jake and his _girlfriend._ Jake looked at me, surprised when he heard my name. I ran out of the restaurant and towards the carnival. I wanted Edward to be able to find me. I just could _not_ stay in there a minute longer. I made it to a bench and started sobbing and hyperventilating. I felt warm arms and a sweet scent encase me. A hand was rubbing my back and smoothing my hair.

"Shh," was all I heard as my sobs started to die down. I looked into the concerned eyes of Edward and again nearly lost it.

"I-i-i'm s-sor-sorry." I cried as Edward rocked us back and forth.

"Sh, Bella it's ok. It's alright. Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked and I nodded. I wiped away my tears and sat up.

"I just saw my ex-boyfriend and the woman who he left me for. Me and Jake had been going out for a long time and about a few months ago I found out I was pregnant with his baby, but when I was 13 weeks along, I caught a bad infection, which caused me to lose my baby. Jacob broke up with me a day after I lost our baby and blamed me for it happening. His new girlfriend looked to be about three to four months pregnant. Meaning he had cheated on me." I finished. Edward looked pissed and ran a hand through his hair as his other hand held mine.

"You still love him?" he asked me stiffly. I shook my head frantically.

"No, Edward I don't. I got over him a while ago. I'm hurt beyond belief. Edward I was pregnant with our child and just a day after I went through the most traumatic time of my life he broke up with me. He told me that it was my fault that we lost the baby, which it was. He left me for his current girlfriend, who is three months pregnant. She can give him a child, something that I _failed_ at doing." I stressed, repeating myself.

"Bella I'm so sorry that happened to you, but it wasn't your fault, you have to believe that. Sometimes miscarriages happen and there's nothing you could have done. Some things just happen. And I understand he shouldn't have left you, he should have stayed and supported you and helped you heal, but with these turns of events I'd say he wouldn't have been much company." I nodded. I got up and sat on Edward's lap and rested my head on his chest, hoping I didn't seem too pushy or needy.

"Please just hold me." I begged.

"I'll never let you go." He whispered. We looked out into the ocean. There was a boat out there. Suddenly the whishing of fireworks erupted and a pretty light show carried out in the night sky in front of us.

****

After the firework show we decided that we should be heading back. The car ride wasn't as strange as I thought it would have been. Edward and I held hands and made easy conversation. All too soon we made it to my flat and Edward was walking me to my door. Once there I was fidgeting with my keys, stalling for time. I wanted him to kiss me. God I wanted him to kiss me.

"Bella?" Edward called, forcing me to look up. Edward smiled his crooked smile and cupped my chin. He brought his lips down to mine and the instant they met it was like another fireworks show was occurring. Without realizing it I dropped my keys and put my arms around Edward's neck. I opened my mouth and let my tongue slid across his bottom lip. He opened his mouth and granted me entrance...he tasted better then I could have ever imagined. All too soon it ended and Edward smiled, not a conceded, arrogant smile but a pleased, soft smile. A sweet smile.

"I had a really great time tonight Bella, and I would like to go out with you again." Edward said and asked at the same time. I nodded.

"So did I Edward...and thank you for being there for me tonight." Edward nodded

"Anytime Bella, and tomorrow I'm going to take you to that little carnival we passed and we're going to have fun." Edward promised before he dropped my hands and bent down to pick up my keys. I had completely forgotten about them.

"You dropped these." He smirked and dropped the keys in my hands and kissed my forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow Bella. Same time as today ok with you?" He asked.

"Sure that's fine." I replied. Edward started walking to his car as I unlocked my flat.

"Until we meet again." Edward yelled from down the hall. I blushed red and waved to him from my entrance.

"Until we meet again," I mumbled...

**!Please Review!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was nearly eleven when I waltzed through the door of my flat. Everyone was still around, but at least the place was clean and tidy. I placed my keys in a bowl near the door and walked into the living area where everyone was still watching television. No one had looked my way yet. A movie was on, and the room seemed to be holding their breath, just waiting for the climax. I walked up behind them all, waited for the perfect opportunity in the film, and…

"Boo!" I yelled, laughing my head off as they all shrieked and covered their faces. The breathing in the room was labored as the guys wrapped their arms around the girls, who were hiding their faces in the guy's shoulders. Emmett's shoulders were shaking; Jasper's eyes were wide as he flipped his head around, relaxing when he saw me.

"Bella!" He yelled, with a smile on his face. Alice and Rose looked up, eyes frightful.

"Bella, don't ever do that again!" Alice yelped, smiling wide.

"I swear I almost had a heart attack." Rose commented.

"I knew it was her." Emmett bragged, stretching his arms along the back of the couch. Rose hit him in the side, mumbling 'Liar' under her breath, but loud enough for all of us to hear her.

I laughed before plopping on the couch next to Alice who was curled up against Jasper. "You know I love you guys, but it's past eleven. What the heck are you still doing here?"

"We wanted to know how your date went!" Alice squealed, breaking away from Jasper and scooting around to face me. "So, how was it?"

"Fabulous." I told her and Rose about dinner while the guys continued to watch the movie. "And then during desert, I saw Jacob." I told them, watching the light leave their eyes and the guys turned around to listen.

"Oh, Bella…" Alice leaned forward and pulled me into a hug. Tears stung my eyes.

"It's alright Alice , I'm over _him_. But, I saw him with Nessie, the girl he broke up with me for, and…she was pregnant."

"What?!" this outrage was from, surprisingly, Jasper. "How the hell is she already pregnant if he just broke up with you five weeks ago?" I turned my eyes to the ground. "Oh,"

"Bella," Rosalie leaned forward and hugged me. It was us three girls locked in a sacred embrace. "Honey, does that mean he, you know?" She glanced at Alice and looked back to me.

"Yeah Rose. He cheated on me. " I whispered. I knew I was going to have to get over it. And I was over him.. But to know that he cheated on me, didn't even love me enough to break up with me beforehand, well that was going to be harder to accept.

"I'll kill him." Rumbled Emmett, fisting his hands.

"No, it's okay." I told them again. "Edward talked with me, and I got through it. I'm alright."

"Do you need to talk about it some more?" Rose asked.

"Yeah, you know we'll always be here for you." Alice said, grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Thanks guys, I can always count on you.." I gave them a genuine smile, watching Emmett and Jasper share a glance.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Em asked him.

"Oh yeah," he nodded.

Then at the same time, they both shouted, "Attack Bella!" I screeched as they all pounced on me, crushing me to death.

"Guys!"

* * *

My friends didn't leave until half past twelve. I fell asleep around one and woke up at eight, remembering I still had to go shopping for supplies for Esme's portrait. I needed to start it soon if I was going to finish it in an allotted time frame.

I walked to the store, since it was so near. I waited five minutes for it to open, walked it and greeted the owner personally, and started browsing the shelves. I grabbed a large canvas, drawing pencils and charcoal, and paint. Then I made my way over to the pastels. I pulled out the picture from Mrs. Cullen and stared at the array of colors on the picture. I picked up a few pieces that were sold individually, using the photo as a guide. Once I had all the certain tints that weren't going to be in a regular pack, like the strange auburn, bronze color of Edward's hair, I grabbed the standard pack of colors and walked up and down the rest of the story. I picked up some more little pieces of canvas and more watercolors. I still needed to finish some of my other work, for instance the one that was going to be hung in my room. I just needed to paint the face and it'll be complete. I didn't get a chance to work on it last night because of the date. I went to the checkout counter and paid for my supplies.

Before going home I walked to the park. Farther in there was a fountain, so I went and stood in front of it, watching the flow of the water and the sunlight twinkling on the vast amount of coins in the bottom of the pool. I took out a quarter and some dimes and nickels from my pocket, change from the art supply store, and tossed them in, making a wish.

"Hoping to wish life back into our child?"

I spun around, dropping my bags on the floor. A faint part of my mind hoped nothing was broken. Jacob stood behind me, hands in his pockets. "Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked in a shaky voice.

He shrugged. "It's the park Bella, it's a public place." I stood silently, wishing he would just go away. Every time he looked over at me, I wanted to run for the hills. I was afraid to move or speak. I didn't know what to do now that he was here in front of me. I knew had I had time to think about this I would have started yelling at him for cheating on me, demanding answers. "Did I see you at that seafood restaurant last night?"

"Did I see you with Nessie last night?" I asked, inching away from him and towards the fountain.

"Touché." He said, taking his hands from his pockets. "Yes you did. I saw you, and you saw me.. " His hand glittered in the sun. I gasped, bringing my hand up to my mouth and trying to force the tears away. He would not see me cry. I stared, transfixed on his left hand. An engagement ring?

"You're getting married?" I asked, trying desperately to keep the horror out of my voice and eyes..

"She's giving me what you couldn't." he said simply.

"You cheated on me. " I told him, begging for him to deny it.

"Yes, I did."

"Why?"

"I fell in love with her. I don't expect you to understand," he shook his head and started to walk away. "Hopefully that guy you were with last night doesn't want children. You'll only disappoint him." He whistled as he walked away, leaving me alone, just like he always did.

* * *

The trek home was exhausting, physically and emotionally. I lugged my supplies inside my flat and set them down. The whole time I was walking home, I just kept thinking about everything Jake and I had been through. Everything he's put me through. I had nothing to do, so my mind was reeling with everything that could have been. I set up my watercolor supplies, walked over to my cot and picked up my finished pencil sketch of the mysterious face. I stared at it for a second, looking at he eyes, the shape of the mouth, the disarray of wild hair. I knew who it was the second I saw that uplifted mouth. I had drawn Edward's face. I looked at the picture again, staring at the eyes. Getting out my paintbrush and wetting the tip, I got to work. The colors blended smoothly. I mixed the colors for his hair, outlined that crooked smile with a rosy pink, and enhanced the sharp bones of his face with grays and blacks, tans and bronze.

I skipped over the eyes, looking around but not finding the best color. I needed one that matched his eyes precisely. Tonight, I'd make sure to pay extra attention to the color, the shine, the shape. Then I could finish the portrait, making the Edward on paper come to life.

I glanced at the clock. I had been working for three hours, which was understandable considering I needed to paint everything perfectly. The brush was small, keeping within the sketch. I had six hours to get ready before I had to leave, so I made some lunch, popped in one of my favorite horror movies, and chilled on the couch, reciting the lines.. When it was over, I still had two hours left till tonight, so I called up Alice, talking to her and Rose on three-way for an hour before Rose said she was going on a date with Emmett. Alice was staying in with Jasper, and they were going to watch a movie together, and they all knew I was going to a carnival.

With an hour left till the date I took a shower and blow-dried my hair, putting in a few hair care products to keep it soft and unable to frizz as I left it down. Since we were going to a carnival, and it wasn't fancy, I put on a pair of jeans that Alice and Rose had bought me, saying it 'complimented my figure.' I picked out a light long sleeved brown shirt to go with it, slipping on a pair of nice shoes that were neither too dressy, nor too casual. With fifteen minutes to go I went into the bathroom, and put on my makeup, keeping it mostly natural. I put on some strawberry lip gloss and looked to the door when I heard a knock. Edward.

I hustled over to the door and opened it to see Edward standing with his hands in his pockets. He was wearing a button down brown shirt and jeans. He laughed, looking over to me. "Great minds think alike, don't you agree?"

I laughed along with him. "Of course, why don't you come on in? I'm almost done getting ready." I held the door open for him to come in. "Sorry about the mess, I was painting beforehand." I was glad I moved the wet picture of him into my room, where he couldn't see it. It wasn't done yet.

"No problem. I'd love to see what you were working on."

"Sure," he smiled and moved toward me, "when I'm finished with it." I heard his chuckle as I walked away. I wasn't going to take a purse for fear of losing it, so I slipped some money into my pocket along with my cell phone. I took a quick look around and found nothing else I needed so I turned back to Edward. He was staring at me.

"Ready?" he asked casually.

"Yep, let's go." He smiled at me before grabbing my hand, lacing our fingers and leading me to the door. He waited while I locked up and then we walked over to his car. Ever the gentleman he opened the door and helped me in, shutting the door and walking over to his side once I was seated. "So, I met with your mom yesterday," he looked over at me with a raised eyebrow. "She showed me the picture she wants me to paint for her. "

"Oh no, please tell me it wasn't the one with me in the dress," he said, glancing over at me. I kept silent, biting my tongue to stop from laughing. He wore a dress? "I was only three, I thought it'd be fun and make me feel pretty, I didn't know any better, but-" he cut short when I burst out laughing, not able to control myself. "Aw man, it wasn't that, was it?" he let out a sigh. "I just told you something mortally embarrassing that you didn't know about, didn't I?" At my nod he closed his eyes briefly, since he was still driving. "Well, darn."

"Don't worry, I think it's cute." I supplemented.

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered, face glowing bright red.

"Actually it was a family portrait from when you were ten. You are so cute, and in it you were holding a cute little teddy bear,"

"Killer is not a cute teddy bear. He's a vicious, well, Killer." He told me, avoiding my eyes.

"Aw, does that mean you still have him?"

"Oh look, we're here." He parked the car as I smiled to myself, enjoying the moment.

"You're not gonna tell me about, Killer?" I asked innocently when he walked around to my side of the car and helped me out.

"Not on this date." He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. "You look great tonight, by the way." He told me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. He steered me towards the entrance to the carnival.

"So do you." I complimented as he paid our way in. "You're going to love the carnival. It's really a lot of fun."

"Can't wait." He pulled me tighter to his side, steering us to a both where we bought some tickets.. "What first?"

"Rides, or booths?" I asked him, looking around for a good place to start.

"It's up to you."

"Hhmm, let's try some booths first, then." I saw one where you knocked down milk bottles and rushed off, tugging Edward with me. I heard him laugh as he followed. "You'll love this one!" I put down one of my tickets and the man in charge gave us three balls. I gave the first one to Edward. "Give it your best shot." I told him, stepping to the side.

He backed up a few steps before he let it fly from his fingertips. "Winner!" The guy in the striped hat told us, letting Edward pick a prize. My mouth hung open. He knocked all three down on the first try.

"Wow," was all I could manage to say.

"I think you're right," he told me as he handed me a stuffed bear. "I'm going to love the carnival."

"And I'm going to love Lover here." I kissed the top of the bear's head. "Thank you."

"You're going to name it Lover?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yep, yours is named Killer, and mine's Lover."

"Makes perfect sense to me," he mumbled, shaking his head slightly. I just laughed. "But I'm not admitting to still having Killer."

"You don't have to admit to it. I can tell you do." His blush was adorable. He grabbed another baseball and took Lover from me. "What are you doing?"

"Your turn."

"Oh no, I can't throw." I told him, backing away.

"Just try." He pleaded, staring me in the eye. His were an emerald green, with a hint of candy apple green around the outer edges, almond shape and huge when he pleaded. He also had a certain sparkle near the center. This was what I needed to remember, what I was going to try to capture on paper, the life of his eyes. "Bella?"

"Alright, but I'm only going to embarrass myself." I pouted, taking the ball from his hand. Lover was tucked under his arm. I aimed and fired. It veered to the left, hitting the guy behind the counter in the leg.

"Ow!" he hollered, bending down to hold his leg.

"Oh my god!" I had my hands over my mouth. Edward was behind me, laughing his head off. "I'm so sorry!" I told the guy. He waved me off, face dark red. "I'll just go, that way." And I took off, getting away.. I heard him hoarsely say Winner once more before Edward jogged over to me, carrying two stuffed animals. "What's that?" I asked, pointing to a strange animal with sharp teeth.

"Mountain Lion." He told me, handing both animals over to me. "The guy just handed it to me, told me to get far away." He gave me a 100 watt smile as I blushed, hard..

"I'm sorry." I told him, hiding my face in the fur of the Mountain Lion.

"Hey," his index finger flicked my chin up to meet his steady gaze. "I'm having a great time, and I hope you are too,"

"I am,"

"Then there's nothing to be sorry for." He kissed my nose before leaning down and capturing my mouth with his. I sighed, clutching the animals tightly against my chest to keep me from dropping them to wrap my hands around his neck. He pulled away, giving me a chance to breathe. "What next?"

"Rides?" I asked breathlessly.

"Sounds perfect." He took my hand and towed me to the section reserved for rides. He gave our tickets to some man and we ended up riding the bumper cars, a thing called the Yo-Yo, some little dizzying rides and finally we made our way over to the Ferris wheel. It was nearing ten o'clock and the sky was filled with bright twinkles of stars. Edward and I waited in line, just talking under the stars.

"Are you going to paint the project for my mother, or just sketch it?" he asked as we talked about his mother and the project.

"Actually I'm using pastels." I told him, watching the slight tilt of his eyebrow as I did so, committing it to memory. "You're mother recommended them. When used right they give off great beauty." I thought I heard him mumble, 'That's not the only thing,' but when I asked him about it he brushed it off, telling me it was nothing and changing the subject.

"When's your next art show?" he asked instead.

"Actually, I'm not sure. I'll have to check with Aro. I need to make some new pieces and have them approved. It could be awhile."

"Make sure to let me know,"

"I will." I turned as the wheel came to a stop, letting the passengers get off and everyone behind and including Edward and I transfer on. He picked a nice yellow and white buggy and opened the door, letting me on first. "Thank you."

"My pleasure." He got in and fastened the door. There was only one seatbelt that went across our laps so Edward pulled me closer to him, practically atop of him before buckling us together. I tilted my head to rest on his shoulder and he intertwined our fingers together, tracing idle patterns on my thumb. I sighed as I relaxed against him. "Enjoy the ride," he told me and seconds later the machine kicked on, taking us up. I opened my eyes to watch, meeting Edward's emerald orbs staring down at me. "You look so beautiful." He whispered, slowing bending his head down to my face.

"Edward…" I leaned my head up as he cupped my cheek. He kissed me as we got to the highest point on the ride, and the whole way back down my heart, stomach, head, everything inside me was soaring. I had never felt as great as I did when Edward kissed me. I vaguely realized we were once again almost to the top, on another rotation. Edward shifted slightly and my hand absentmindedly landed on his upper leg. I heard him groan before he moved his arm around my waist, turning sideways to face me. His tongue slipped between his rosy lips and traced my bottom lip, silently asking my permission. I obeyed, opening my mouth slightly to let his tongue join mine in an erotic dance. My free hand, not currently resting on him, moved to his hair, tangling in the locks. I reluctantly pulled away, finding it hard to stay focused with lack of oxygen. Edward trailed kisses down my neck, sweet closed mouth kisses that left me wanting more.

The ride came to a jerking halt causing me to fly forward some, since the seatbelt had loosened. Edward immediately wrapped his arms around me, keeping me from getting hurt. "Thank you." I told him, as we stepped off the ride.

"Let's go, okay?"

"Sure." I agreed, walking with him hand in hand back to his car.

* * *

"I had a great time tonight Edward," I stood on my tiptoes to reach his cheek.

"I'm glad. I did too, surprisingly." He swung our hands back and forth as we walked up to my flat. "I never knew carnivals were that fun. Now I know what I missed when I was younger." He laughed.

"Better late than never." I nodded, giving him a full blown smile in return.

"That's true, so I'll ask you now,"

"Ask me what?" I stopped outside my door, turning to give him my full attention.

"I was wondering if you would like to come over to my house for dinner tomorrow night?" he asked with that sexy as hell crooked grin on his face. Was I ready for this? If I went over there there was a good chance I could spend the night. But he doesn't seem like the type to push, and it'd be really great to see where the great pediatrician lives… "Isabella?"

"Sure. I would love to."

"Terrific." He smiled down at me, leaning in once more to quickly kiss me on the lips. "I'll pick you up, let's say five thirty?"

"Can't wait." I told him, keeping my smile in place. I unlocked my door and turned back to Edward. "Thanks again, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight my sweet Bella." He gave me a chaste goodnight kiss before walking away, whistling as he went.

"Goodnight," I whispered to his back. I pushed my door open and walked inside. "What am I getting myself in to?" I asked the empty room. I sighed and went into my room to change into ratty old pajamas so I could finish the watercolor. I set up my portrait and supplies and set to work. Redrawing the eyes to match exactly right. I mixed together a few greens, trying them all on a piece of paper to try and find the perfect match. Finally, after four tries, I found the right combination of three different types of green for the inner part of his eye. The outer part took my seven more tries to get right, since it was such a unique shade. I finished up around two and left it on the table to dry. I couldn't wait to frame it and hang it in my room. First thing tomorrow morning I would go. Too bad I slept straight through my alarm…


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I awoke in a cold sweat, not knowing what had happened to jolt me from a dead sleep. A dead sleep where I was dreaming about that girl from the park. The little girl, Abby. She had come to me, dragging me towards a tall very attractive, from behind, male form. All smiles and giggles, her grip was unbreakable. I didn't know who she was taking me to. He was just about to turn to face us, Abby was calling to him excitedly. But before I could make out his features, I woke up. Glancing at my clock I realized it was almost the middle of the day. I groaned and stretched before yawning, getting out of bed. I grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom for a quick shower, thinking about the day ahead.

"MMhh," I groaned as the warm water filtered around me, steaming up the small shower stall. I needed to get some framing materials for the water color, and work on Esme's portrait. I had already gotten Edward's eye color perfect with water color, now it'd be a great challenge to try pastels. I finally stepped out, pruney and pink skinned. I dried my hair and left it down, letting it dry while I attended to some measuring. I measure the length and width of my new watercolor before I left to get the frame.

***

"Back again?" Mr. Meyers, one of the cashiers at Everything Art asked. Of all the cashiers, old man Meyers was my favorite. He used to be a painter before his wife died. Sine then he just couldn't bring himself to paint something so lovely, something his wife had adored so much, without missing her to much to try and continue living.

"How are you today Mr. Meyers?" I asked kindly. Stopping for a moment to chat, I leaned my hip against the wall of his area.

"Wonderful, wonderful." I knew he wouldn't admit to feeling down, even with the anniversary of his wife's dismiss just around the corner.

"Glad to hear it." I smiled before moving on my way. I went to the frames first, noticing they had a wide array of them to choose from. Gold, silver, colored and neon. Finally, after walking up and down the isle twice, I found the one I wanted. The frame was a dark black wood, with a hint of red when held in the light. I picked up a few more drawing utensils before heading out after sharing a few more words with Mr. Meyers. It was around twelve forty when I finally made it through the door to my flat. Instead of working straight away I turned to the phone and dialed Alice .

"Hey Bella,"

" Alice . Long time no see."

"Oh yeah, that party the other day was so long again." I laughed as I sat down on the couch, getting comfortable. "So, Bella how was the date yesterday?"

"Oh my god, Alice, it was marvelous! We went to a carnival, and Edward won me a stuffed animal, and we rode the Ferris wheel and then he walked me home and Alice," I paused for dramatic affect. "He asked me to come over to his house for dinner this afternoon!"

I had to hold the phone away to be able to keep my hearing. "Oh Bella, that's wonderful! You must be so excited, I can't wait to here all about it! And I'll bet you'll be spending the night, well we definitely need to go shopping to get you some nice lingerie. I know this perfect store that customizes-"

" Alice !" she broke off mid-sentence. " Alice , that's kinda what I called you about. I'm nervous that I will end up spending the night, and I'm just not sure if I'm ready for that."

"Of course you are. It's been over a month. You need to get back out there, take a chance."

"I just can't do that again. I don't want it to end the same way."

"This time will be different."

"I don't know. I just don't know."

***

I declined Alice 's offer to take me shopping, and instead framed Edward's portrait so I was able to hang it up in my room. I placed it right above my cot. The coloring, the strokes, it all blended into itself, giving the illusion of intelligence. It brightened up my room, making it hard to take my eyes away from it. Note to self, I thought, remove portrait if Edward ever comes over. If he ever realized how obsessed, even mildly, I was with him, enough to paint him, he might never want to see me again. I was at a loss of what else to do, and it was only three o'clock. Way to early to begin getting dressed. I walked back out of my room and continued working on the three person picture. The outline was complete, so I grabbed the pastels and began working, setting some music on low in the background. Smudging and scraping, I outlined all the finer details with a black thinly tipped piece of pastel before I worked on the coloring. Starting at the top, I managed to finish the background before looking up, noticing I had forty five minutes to get ready.

I decided to leave my stuff as is on the counter before going off to take a shower and change. I was dotted with pastels of all colors, since mixing the background took a certain amount of reds and browns, a tad bit of yellow and white to receive the right coloring. I stepped out of the shower, looking much like this morning, all pink and tingly, and was grateful to find a matching set of lingerie. A casual everyday white cotton bra with matching bikini panties. I slipped on a dress after Alice begged me to make sure I wore it. It was one of her picks. A royal blue that flared slightly at the bottom. It had a modest V neck with spaghetti straps and was tight until the bottom. I added a touch of makeup, added a hint of blush and slipped on cute ballerina flats. I placed a delicate silver necklace around my neck, put a few hair care products in my hair to keep it soft and natural, ran my fingers through it a few times and applied a light amount of lips gloss, finishing right as a knock came from the door. I stifled a squeal, not wanting him to know how eager I was, and walked slowly towards the door, waiting for a second knock before opening it. Instantly Edward's eyes brightened, as I'm sure mine did as well.

"Evening." Edward swooped down and gave me a kiss that left me slightly out of breath.

"Hello, would you like to come in?"

"Sure." Edward bypassed me and waited right by the door for me to close it.

"Sorry about the mess," I told him as his eyes drifted over to the table. "I was working."

"No problem. Neater than most places I've seen." I smiled as I grabbed a shawl that had come with the dress. "Ready?"

"Yes," He walked towards me before stopping. He turned around, his eyebrow quirked up a little in surprise.

"Is that what you did just today?" he asked, nodding towards his mother's painting.

"I had it outlined, but started the pastels this afternoon."

"And got that far already? Wow, my mother was right to hire you." He smiled and walked forward, grabbing my hand. "Come on, I've got everything ready at home, it just needs to simmer in the oven for a bit."

"Excellent." I locked the door and then we were on our way. "Where do you live?"

"About twenty minutes from here." He didn't offer more, and I didn't ask. I'd find out once we got there.

***

"Oh Edward, its lovely." I gushed as he led me into his house. It was furnished just so, fitting him perfectly. It was a two story house, everything sparkled and there wasn't a speck of dust anywhere.

"I'm glad you like it." He smiled easily, giving me a tour. "My mother designed it, and of course decorated it. I had a say, but you've met my mother. It wasn't much."

"Oh, but she did a fantastic job!" I told him as he led me into the kitchen. "It's beautiful, and this kitchen, my goodness I wish I could afford something as extravagant as this!" There were counters lining almost every wall. Stainless steel appliances and the best everything money could buy.

He laughed as he moved over to the fridge, getting a dish covered in aluminum and carrying it over to the stove. "I'll just pop this in the oven, and we can sit in the living room while it cooks for a bit. Would you like to get the wine?" he nodded his head to the refrigerator.

"Sure." I moved over and opened the wide door. There it was, right in front of me. A nice, expensive looking red type. I found a corkscrew in the drawer and tried to open the bottle, but it was something I had never done and I wasn't making much progress. Edward glanced over and laughed at my struggling predicament.

"Having trouble?"

"Course not." I scoffed lightly. The corkscrew flew from my hands. "Whoops?" I offered as Edward bent to retrieve it from the floor.

"How about you go on out into the living room while I let this breathe and fill us up a glass?"

"Sure." I nodded and went on to investigate the living area. The one thing I noticed that was taking up more space than anything was a bookcase, a six foot high bookshelf that was covered with the classics, fiction, non-fiction, historical, romance. Everything you could think of and some of the best selections. I saw _Romeo and Juliet _by Shakespeare and _Jane Eyre _by Charlotte Bronte and even my all time favorite, _Wuthering Heights _by Emily Bronte. I picked it up and flipped through it. It was a first edition, perfect without so much as a crease in the spine. Mine was falling apart and here was this perfect copy, looking like it was never read. "So sad," I murmured.

"What's sad?" I whirled around, spotting Edward bringing in the wine. He was now barefoot and I could finally pay the right attention to what he was wearing. He was wearing black jeans with a white crisp looking dress shirt. His emerald eyes shone with a hidden mischief. He handed me a glass before I could answer.

"The fact that most of these books seem to not have even been opened, let alone read." I handed him Wuthering Heights as an example. "Have you ever read any of these books?"

"Now that I think about it, no." He laughed as I stared at him in shock. "I have a collection of my own personal favorites up in my bedroom. Those I read, and end up rereading." He told me, helping to ease my appalled facial features.

"Then why do you have these out here?"

"Mostly for decoration, I guess."

"Decoration, you must be joking!" I whirled around. "È insano." I mumbled to myself. Louder, I added, "You have to be insane to spend so much money on books you'll never read, simply for decoration? Absurd!" I wasn't angry, just astounded that someone could do that, would take the time to pick out the books, and yet refused to read them.

"Money has never been an issue with my family, and a fair few of those were gifts." He said calmly, taking a sip of his wine. I forgot I even had some, so I hastily took a gulp, loving the taste of it. "Why are you so worked up about it anyway?" he asked me, as he walked back into the kitchen. I followed to be able to continue this conversation. He checked on the food, noting that it wasn't done, before he leaned up against the counter, waiting for my response.

"I just noticed that Wuthering Heights seems to have never been read. Personally it's one of my favorites, and my copy is so distorted you can barely read it."

"Then by all means, if you'd like, take the one in the living room." He turned back to the oven, taking out the dinner.

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously.

"Yeah, if you want it, go for it. I've already told you, I'll never read it." He shrugged and grabbed plates from an overhead cupboard.

"But, it's a first edition." I pressed. It had to have cost over thirty dollars, maybe around forty. Who knew?

"Isabella," he left the food and walked around to face me. "It does not bother me. " He gave me a sweet kiss and went back to the food. "I hope you're hungry."

"It smells fabulous." I told him, telling myself I'd think about the offer later or after we ate.

"Bon appetite." He told me and with a flourish the dishes were filled and we were sitting at the kitchen table. We began eating in a comfortable silence, only punctured by the clicking of flatware on the plates. "So, Bella." He paused, taking another sip of wine.

"So Edward," I decided to take the lead as he continued to drink his wine. "What are your plans for the future?" I don't know where the question came from. It was one of those in the moment things. He laughed cheerily.

"Well, I plan to continue my work as a pediatrician. Maybe work my way up, but I'm not so sure." He took a bite of his food while I processed this, eating my own casserole.

"How come? Wouldn't you want to go as far as you can?"

"Well, I suppose most people would. But, one, I'm not most people and two, I happen to love children. I can't wait to settle down and have some of my own even." His eyes sparkled as he continued to eat.

"That's beautiful." I told him, hoping my voice wouldn't shake. I tilted my head down so he couldn't see the pain in my eyes. So much for our relationship progressing. Here was another man I couldn't give him what he wanted most in the world.

"So Bella," he waited until I looked up and confusion crossed his face. "What about you, what are your fears at this moment?" I looked away, fiddling with my fork. "Please tell me?" I looked up and met his eyes.

"I'm afraid…that you won't want me anymore."

"That's absurd." He scoffed.

"That's my fear!" I cried, glad we were on opposite sides of the table so I wouldn't strangle him.

"Why in the world would you think that?" he asked, caring now taking over his voice.

"Because I can't give you what you desperately want. I'm sorry, but I can't give you children."

"Bella," he soothed. 'That's years from now, months at least. We don't have to worry about that now. I like just being with you. Getting to know you. I'm not pushing for anything more right now."

"I know, it's just to warn you,"

"If the time comes, and we are still together like I hope we will be, having children will not be my top prority."

"Then what will?"

He gave me a crooked smile, taking another sip of wine. "That's for you to stick around and find out."

Oh Boy.

***

By the end of dinner I was properly snockered and about ready to try anything. Right now Edward and I were sitting in the living room, talking about pretty much anything. The one thing I kept coming back to was how _cute _he was. I mean, has anyone ever seen a more adorable man, ever?

"You're vvveerryy cute." I told him, laughing as I leaned forward. He gave me a sweet kiss before chuckling to himself.

"And you my dear are appropriately drunk,"

"No. Not, drunk." I told him, leaning back against the arm of the couch. "Just, happy!" I giggled before looking over at him.

"Extremely drunk." He told me with a smile. "So how's the painting for my mother coming along? I know I already saw it, and it's magnificent by the way, but how much longer will it take? I'd like to see it before you show it to Esme."

"I have one of you you'd like too." I told him with a giggle. The _oh shit _part of my brain was off. He wasn't ever supposed to know about that picture. I continued to giggle helplessly as he stared at me.

"One of me? Like a portrait." This time I kept my mouth shut, a smile firmly in place. "Are you going to make me guess?" he asked, one eyebrow raised in question. I laughed and scooted away as he came closer to me. Almost like a predator stalking his prey. "Am I going to have to tickle it out of you." My eyes widened and I tried to fly away from him and the couch, but even if I had been sober that would have been a difficult task. He was so fast! "Trying to get away?" he murmured into my ear, nuzzling my neck. I squirmed in his hold, but he just pushed me down onto the couch, smiling above me. My eyes widened as I saw a particular gleam in his eye before he attacked. I could do nothing but laugh like crazy as he continued to assault me. Tears were leaking from the corners of my eyes and it was getting harder to breathe. He finally stopped after some odd long torturous moments and kissed me briefly. I still hadn't managed to catch my breath. "Give?" he whispered against my ear, kissing the shell.

"Yes, yes! I give." I laughed quietly as he backed away, pulling me onto his lap.

"Good, because I couldn't be above you much longer and still remain a honest gentleman." I sighed, partly excited partly afraid, of what might have happened if he had tossed that side to the wind.

"I wouldn't have minded." I pointed out, letting the alcohol affect my decision.

"Maybe not now," he told me, hugging me closer. "But in the morning you would have." He glanced at the clock. "It's nearly one; would you like me to take you home?"

"Any chance I could crash here?"

"By all means. Wait here while I go set up a bedroom for you." He kissed my forehead before walking to the stairs. I laid down and stared at the chandelier above me. Very soon I found myself falling into a deep sleep. Right before I was too far gone to notice anything, I heard Edward walk back down the stairs. Lifting me into his arms like I weighed nothing, he took me into a bedroom, setting me on the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow it was lights out.


	9. Chapter 8

**Ok so me and Ash have worked really hard and we would apprciate some reviews please. Also pretty soon were going to be having some good lemons 8) hahaha oh you'll see!**

**Chapter 8**

I awoke with a nasty throbbing pain in both my temples. Ugh. Good lord how much did I drink? I couldn't help but wonder. I kept my eyes closed but nestled deeper into my warm and firm pillow. I was about to fall back asleep when I noticed something were a bit off about my pillow. It was warm but firm, warmer then a pillow after being slept on. Also if I listened carefully I could hear a heart beat...which only means that this isn't a pillow. My eyes snapped open and I looked up into warm green eyes.

"Good morning light weight" Edward said with a chuckle. I sat up quickly trying to cover myself with the sheets just incase I wasn't decent.

"Holy shit, did we have sex, please tell me we didn't have sex, ugh why can't I remember the sex" I moaned and fell back onto the bed. Edward chuckled and ran a hand through his hair.

"No silly Bella we did not have sex, there was no sex and you can't remember because there was nothing _to_ remember relax" Edward finished and kissed my shoulder. I covered my eyes with my hands because I realized I just made a complete fool of myself. I guess I'm glad we didn't have sex because something tells me that is something that I would always want to remember.

"Now that you are aware of our lack of sex having are you hungry" He asked removing one of my hands and putting it in his. I was hungry but I also had a very bad head ache. Edward realizing I must have a nasty hangover reached over and gave me a glass of water and Advil. I took them both gratefully, and got out of bed and followed Edward to the kitchen. I was pleased and slightly not, to realize I still had on my clothes from last night..._all_ of them.

I sat at the table waiting for Edward to finish with breakfast, I would have helped but I was in no condition to attempt to help at anything really. Soon Edward walked through the door way to his dinning room table and placed one plate of French toast, hash browns and eggs in front of me as well as one in his spot next to me. I dug in immediately moan at the great taste.

"Ugh what do you want to drink" Edward asked slightly flustered. I smirked at what I could do to him, never before did I give that type of reaction to anyone, I liked it.

"Black coffee is fine thank you" Edward nodded and was soon back with a steaming cup of joe for me and some milk for him. Edward and I just sat there eating, it was nice. As soon as Edward was done he grabbed both our plates, most to my displeasure now that I was feeling better and put them in his dish washer.

"So what do you remember from last night" Edward asked with a suspicious smile but guarded eyes. I shrugged and tried to think back as far as I could.

"I remember the end of dinner and that's about it" I said honestly....then I got to thinking.

"Why were you in bed with me?" I asked Edward accusing him with my eyes. He threw his head back in a laugh and looked me in the eyes.

"Silly Bella, I tried to put you down and walk away but you had such a strong grip around my waist I couldn't, besides I enjoyed sleeping next to you one of the best nights of my life" He told me and I could see the honesty burning deeply from his eyes, such intense eyes I could get lost in. He blinked and I snapped back into reality. "So Bella do you want a tour of the rest of the house?" Edward asked and I nodded excitedly, he smiled and took my hand in his and started leading me back upstairs.

"You've seen all of the downstairs, Anyway this place has four bedrooms and three and a half baths" Edward said and lead me to a room and opened the door.

"This is my room" He said and waved me in, I looked around and gasped his room had a mixture of a dark blue and gold with a unique line design all along the wall. In the center a large queen size bed, with gold comforter and pillow cases. I walked over towards one door and opened it and was astounded by what I saw.

"Ah this is the master bath" Master was right this place was HUGE in one corner was a large tub with jets around the bottom and sides. In another corner was a large shower with a waterfall like shower head. Then between those things was a double sink. When I looked back at Edward -with mouth a gape- he had a light blush to his cheeks.

"I know pretty extravagant for one person-"

"Ya think" I interrupted he rolled his eyes

"But I don't plan on living here alone forever" He finished I nodded and walked out with Edward. Right across from there Edward opened a door and I noticed it as the room that we slept in.

"The plan was to have you sleep across from me so you weren't to far from me but as you know that didn't work out" Edward said and kissed me softly as a blush appeared on my cheeks and neck. Edward showed me the rest of the rooms it was nothing special about them the other bathrooms were huge as well just not as fancy. Soon I realized the time and as much as I didn't want to I had to go home and work then hang out with the gang...hmmm...

"Edward I'm sorry but it's getting late and I have some work to get done but I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and my friends a little later as long as you have nothing else planned?" I asked as we walked to the living room.

"Sure Bella I don't mind and I would love to get to know your friends it's my day off and I had no other plans" Edward smiled and wrapped the shawl around me and lead me to his car and started driving me back to my flat.

"You know I never knew you lived so close to me" I noted and Edward nodded.

"Small world" He said and all to soon we were at my place.

"Thank you for last night Edward I had a great time even if I got drunk and thought we had sex" We both chuckled and went our separate ways.

"Oh Edward" I called out and Edward stopped and stuck his head out the car window.

"Come by my place at 8 o'clock and prepare to have some fun you've never met my friends before and they can be slightly crazy" I warned and Edward smiled and nodded.

"Alright Bella I look forward to meeting your crazy friends and seeing you again" And with that Edward drove away. I unlocked my flat and walked in. I decided to change into my favorite pair of sweats because one I was uncomfortable in this dress now and I didn't want to ruin it. Once changed I got out the painting and started Esme's piece. I got everyone's clothing and head shape right how I wanted it, but the colors and shading were going to be slightly harder. After working for a few hours I decided to clean up and get ready.

First off, I had to hide that painting of Edward. I went over to my sleeping space and carefully stood on my cot and took the painting of Edward down. Now, where to hide it so no one finds it and it doesn't get ruined. Ah I know I walked over to a closet and put it in the very back, I stood away and tried to see if there was any angle that the picture would have been exposed there wasn't. I went over to my fridge and dumped out all of my glass bottles of root beer. This was a plan that had been made behind of Rose's back; since Rose despises Root beer I would fill all the bottles with different types of alcohol. I know it was deceiving but I though Rose was being just a little bit silly.

Thanks to my bartending classes that my mom insisted I go to with her I knew how to make a good number of drinks. After I cleaned out the glass bottles I would pour the drink in one and mark the label with a marker to indicate which drink it was. By the time I was done some bottles had one mark while others had two to three, but each bottle had a fancy little design to go with it, I just wanted to throw a bit of my art into it.

I needed help with moving a few things in my flat and knew none of my friends could help because they wouldn't get here till much later so I decided to call Edward. I pick up my mobile and dialed a number that had been programmed into my phone since Aro gave it to me. Within three rings someone picked up.

"Hello Bella?" Edward question and I though it was silly but sweet how he memorized my number, or had me programmed in his caller ID.

"Hi Edward I know it's early but I need help moving a few things around and I was wondering if you could come over and help me, it's just none of my other friends are available to come and help me right now" I stated quickly just so he knew this wasn't just an excuse just to get him in my home...alone...with me. Aw shit what did I get myself into?

"Sure Bella I understand I'll be there in 20 minutes" Edward said and disconnected. 20 minutes ok well then I needed to get ready and quick. I ran to my shower and bathed quickly but efficiently. When I got out I checked the time, alright I wasted 12 minutes, and I was hopping around everywhere and drying my body and hair as I was cleaning my living space and trying to figure out what to wear. I picked out a green lacy bra with matching panties. I settled with skinny jeans and a brown v-neck shirt. I was trying to brush and dry my hair out as three resounding knocks echoed threw my place.

"Be there in a minute" I yelled and decided to go bare foot, it was my place anyway. I gave up on the hair drying part and just decided to brush it out and let it air dry as I ran to my door. I opened it and saw Edward there in all his glory leaning on my doorframe. He had on simple jeans and a gray tee shirt that hugged his muscle's.

"So what do you need help with, you look lovely by the way" He said as I waved him in.

"Thanks I just need you to move around a few pieces of heavy furniture, normally I would have Jasper or Emmett do it, you'll meet them tonight, but Emmett went with Rosalie for a pre-natal check up the last one before she's due to deliver and Jasper is out with Alice helping her carry her shopping bags" I finished and showed Edward to the main living area.

"Ah poor man" Edward stated and I laughed.

"True but better him then me. Anyway to make room for everything I need my cot up against my wall and I'll need help push out my sofa to more in the middle of the room" Edward nodded and started to work on getting the cot up against the wall. I have to say the way his arm muscles rippled when he picked it up was a big turn on, but I ignored those thoughts.

Soon we were done with everything and we both sat on the sofa to relax a little.

"Oh the root beer bottles in the fridge aren't really soda but its all different type's of alcohol. Rose thinks that if she can't have alcohol then neither can any of us. So me and the gang got tired of not drinking at least once in awhile and came up with that idea. I'm the only one aloud to make the drinks because I'm the only one who knows the right and safe combinations" I finished and Edward smiled and laughed.

"Good to know" Then his face went serious and he bent down and gently pecked my lips.

"Your smart" He kissed me again this one lasting longer.

"Sweet" He cupped my cheek and kissed me again but never giving me what I want.

"Talented and just a great person to be around" He palmed the back of my head and our lips connected passionately. Slowly Edward laid us on the sofa our lips never breaking contact. Our tongues ignited in a fury of passion. When he disconnected to let us breathe my chest was heaving. His nose traced my cheek bones and around to my ear where he took it in his mouth and sucked. At this point if he said another sweet thing to me I was going to jump his bones right here right now, let all those who enter my flat be damned.

"So can I see my portrait now?" He asked in a whisper and instantly I shot up and stared at him wide eyed, blush covering every inch of me.

"I-How-You,You seduced me" I accused while pointing my finger at Edward. He chuckled and shook his head.

"So Bella are you gonna let me see it or not?" He asked and I still couldn't believe he knew, how the _hell_ did he know, damnit. Luckily though Edward really should have tried to seduce me earlier because a knock came from my door which meant it was sometime around 8 o'clock.

"Oh look the gangs here" I said quickly pleased to not have to answer Edward.

"This isn't over Ms. Swan, not by a long shot" He had just finished his statement as I opened the door, Emmett was all smiles, Jasper was try to control an over hyper pixie and Rose well she looked ready to pop.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"Well, well, well. Who do we have here?" Emmett led a very pregnant Rose into my small flat while looking at Edward who had come up behind me to greet everyone. I ushered them all inside before I made any introductions.

"Emmett, be nice." I whispered as I helped him cart in Rosalie.

"Aren't I always?" He insisted back in a hushed tone. Alice had already started in on Edward, much to Jasper's dismay. Alice was already asking him where he had gotten his clothes, and by her squeal of delight I could only guess it was some remote brand name. Jasper was looking on, apprising Edward with a critical eye.

"Edward," I walked up next to him, grabbing his hand and bringing him forward. "This is Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice ." I pointed them each out in turn. He shook their hands casually. "Em, Rose, Jazz, Ali, this is Edward. Eddie." I smiled up at him. He gave me sort of a grimace in return.

"Please don't call me that." He asked. That was all the persuasion Emmett needed.

"Don't like that name Eddie Bear?" Emmett asked, causing us all to laugh. I saw Edward wasn't having fun so I quickly got Emmett to shut it.

"Sorry Edward," I told him. He shrugged, playing it off. Emmett walked over to me and gave me a wink.

"Bella, how about some drinks? Thirsty baby?" he asked over his shoulder. Rose stopped her conversation with Alice long enough to give him a look.

"What do you have? And I swear if there is any alcohol in this house you will all suffer." She glared at Emmett.

"You were with me the whole time! I don't have anything." He defended. She just rolled her eyes.

"I have Root Beer," I told her, watching as she made a disgusted face, "or orange juice, milk, water."

"Plain old water will be fine." She pouted before Alice grabbed her in another conversation, about fashion no doubt.

"Jasper, what about you and the little pixie?" Alice gave me a birdie, not even stopping her speech. "Root Beer?"

"Root Beer for me," He answered, giving Alice a quick look. "How about water for her?" He got up and followed Emmett and I into the small kitchen area. "Edward?" I asked as he stood there.

"I'm coming." He told me, abandoning trying to understand Alice . When she talked as fast as she did you have to have known her for years to understand.

I waited until we were out of hearing distance to tell them all what each drink was. "If Rose finds out she'll kill us, so you guys better keep it quiet." I glared at Jasper.

"What?" he asked all innocently. I handed Edward his selected drink, watching him lean against the counter before I answered him.

"You know as well as I do that you'll cave if Alice finds out and asks. Then she'll tell Rose."

"I won't say anything." He promised.

"You won't have to. You know how Alice is. She can _sense_ it!" I hissed through my teeth. I peered around the corner to see that they were both very deep into whatever conversation was going on between them. I grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge and took them to the girls, leaving the guys alone for a brief moment. I gave one to each of them and walked back to get my own drink when I heard Emmett talking to Edward. I froze out of sight and listened.

"So, Edward, how long have you been seeing Bella?" Emmett asked casually. Jasper took a pull on his bottle before mimicking Edward's pose, leaning against the counter. This could not be happening. Instead of interfering I let Emmett have his moment, letting him interrogate Edward like he had done Jasper not too long ago when he and Alice began seeing each other.

"We've been out three times or so, I've been seeing her for a week or so." He told them carefully, taking a small swig of his drink. He didn't look too uncomfortable from where I was sitting, so I let them continue, deciding Edward didn't need rescuing right now.

"How much do you like her? What do you intend for the relationship to grow to?" Jasper asked, joining in.

"Well, I like her very much. She's a remarkable woman, to say the least. For right now I'm just hoping we'll continue seeing each other, getting to know each other more. I like the idea of her being a long time relationship, but it is up to her, in the long run."

He wanted a long term relationship? With me?

"She told you about her past?" Emmett asked lowly. I flinched, not liking to remember.

"She's only told me as much as she wants me to know, but if you are referring to Jacob, then yes. She told me about him, and what he did to her." His voice was low and rough as well. I could only imagine the fire behind those emerald green eyes.

"And that doesn't change you're opinion of her?" Emmett clarified.

"Of course not!" he sounded appalled. "As if I'm only interested in her for one thing. Bella is so much more than that." I smiled brightly, a clenching occurred in my heart and stomach, making me giddy. I quickly took a large gulp of my drink. Thankfully Alice and Rose still hadn't noticed me spying on the guys.

"So you haven't tried to get her in bed?" Emmett asked, holding back a grin. I felt it was my time to interfere.

"So, what have you guys been talking about?" I asked the room at large, noticing how Edward's face held a slight pink tint.

"Guy stuff honey, nothing to worry you're little head about." Emmett leaned down and kissed my cheek quickly.

"Mmhh, how is it I don't buy that?" I asked on a laugh.

"Because you know me." Jasper laughed before clasping Edward on the shoulder, gave him a sympathetic smile and followed Emmett out of the room.

"You alright?" I asked when the color slowly disappeared from his face. "I didn't mean to leave you alone with those two. Emmett can be…"

"Protective." He smiled down at me and kissed me quickly on the lips. "But that makes it all the better." He tapped my nose gently before grabbing his drink form the counter and lacing his fingers with mine. I took him into the living room where Alice and Rose had finally stopped talking to each other and were laughing at something Emmett had to say. I sat on the floor and Edward followed suit, pulling me back against his chest until I sat on his lap. I blushed slightly and took anther drink, listening as Jasper and Edward joined into a conversation together. They began talking about the different schools they had both gone to for college, noticing how they had been close by. I tuned them out and listened to Emmett talking to the girls. They both laughed at something he said. He took a sip from his bottle and Rose eyed it suspiciously. I tried to get up, opened my mouth to warn him, but she snatched it from his hands before I could get to him. She sniffed it and screeched, drawing everyone's attention.

"Emmett! What the hell is this?" she sniffed at it again. "I thought I told you no alcohol!" she slapped his head and he winced, moving away as she got up off the couch, with a struggle. Alice helped her before walking over to Jasper, who tried to hide his own bottle.

"Jazzy?" She asked curiously. "That's not alcohol, is it?" and he broke down.

" Alice I'm so sorry!" he pulled her into a hug.

I turned back to Edward, "And that's why we can never tell him any of our secrets." I told him right before I heard Emmett talking to Rose, including my name. I swung my head around, hitting Edward with my ponytail.

"It was Bella's idea! I swear baby, I didn't do it. I'm a victim!"

"Victim my ass you giant asshole!" she swung around to face me. "Bella how could you?" she cried, waving her arms around.

"Rose, it was Emmett. He brought all the alcohol earlier, I just put it together!" I lied flawlessly. Emmett's mouth gaped open. None of them knew I could lie this good, when it was my ass on the lie that is. "Rose, maybe you should sit. This can't be good for the baby." I told her. She ignored me, rounding on Emmett once more.

"You did this? How could you!" there was no way he was going to get out of this one. Rose would believe me over him any day. I smiled victoriously towards Emmett. He gave me a goofy grin, and I knew I was in for it.

"I'm sorry baby." Emmett pulled her into a hug. She tried to fight it, but eventually she forgave him.

"Forgive us too?" Jasper asked Alice, who was unresponsive in his arms, waiting for Rose's all clear.

"We'll forgive you," Rose began, "If you don't drink anymore." We all agreed and I got up to gather the bottles.

"I'll set this away." I told Rose. "Can you believe Emmett?" I asked, giving her a quick wink before walking into the kitchen. I quickly put the drinks on the counter, leaving them there till later and made my way back out to my friends, coming in just as Emmett was telling the room something.

"…and she goes and sneezes, squirting it out right there in the middle of the store!" He told Edward. I was horrified.

"Emmett! How could you?" Everyone else was laughing, and I could see Edward trying to remain polite.

"Admit that the alcohol wasn't my fault and I'll stop telling them about you're little accident, squirts."

"Don't call me that! I was five for Pete's sake! And I was sick!" I fumed, evading Edward when he tried to pull me back onto his lap.

"Admit it!" Emmett pointed at me, laughing along with the rest. Two could play at this game.

"So, Emmett," I began, thinking through my list of blackmail. He gave me a steely look, not knowing what I was about to pull. This was something neither of the girls knew. Something I wasn't even supposed to know, but had walked in on. "Remember, back in college," his eyes still held a confused look, Jasper was just as confused. "There was this one party, you remember." Slowly, the reality of it was coming clearer. "And I went with you and Jasper," cue the pale faces, "Remember what was happening behind closed doors? I sure do remember." This had been a party that neither Rose nor Alice knew about. They had each been dating their respective others, but were clueless. Emmett and Jasper both stood up, stalking towards me. I danced away and behind the couch, keeping it between us. Edward looked on in interest, the girls were glaring. "I opened the door, and it was dark and there were these sounds," Emmett lunged and I squealed, just escaping from Jasper watching them both fall flat on their faces on top of each other. "Oh how appropriate." I looked down on them. "Wasn't that what was happening back then as well?"

"What?" Alice and Rose both shrieked. Alice was up in a heartbeat. Rose stayed where she was, hand over her giant belly. Edward was lying backwards on the floor, howling with laughter. "You, and him, together…and…no. what?" Alice was scrambling over to Jasper and Emmett who were redder than I ever got even on my worst days. Luckily they had the good sense to back away from each other.

"We were drunk!" Jasper tried to defend their actions.

"And the only girls we could think about were you lovely ladies, who weren't there." Emmett pointed out.

"So you made out with each other?!" Rose screeched like a banshee. They got even redder. Alice was yelling at them, not even aware of the tension Rose just created. I was laughing my ass off, leaning against a just as happy Edward as I tried to catch my breath.

"Rose, they were doing more than that." I suddenly found myself under a combined three-hundred and fifty odd plus pounds as Jasper and Emmett jumped on top of me. I gasped as they lifted me off of Edward, each holding an arm and leg.

"Eww!" Alice cried, hanging her head in her hands.

"You had sex with each other?" Rose hollered, still restricted to the couch because of her condition.

"No!" they both shouted together. "We are not gay!" I continued to laugh hysterically.

"One step below that Rosy!" I blinked back tears as they dropped me on the couch. I landed a few inches from Rosalie. "Honestly Rose, you should have seen it. It was hilarious."

"I think I'll pass on that." Rose made some strangled noise before getting up and rushing to the bathroom. A few seconds later I heard her start throwing up and Emmett was gone in a flash, off to make sure she was okay. Alice also looked like she was going to be sick.

" Alice , darling, it was years ago. Nothing like that has ever happened again." Jasper tried to convince her. Now, seeing as I'm a girl I knew they wouldn't mind, because I knew for a fact the girls had done the same thing with each other, but just to keep up the charade she was keeping this little joke rolling.

"So, you aren't gay, right?" she asked hesitantly. I laughed my head off, falling backwards and into Edwards lap. He looked down at me and kissed me quickly before turning back to Alice and Jasper. I stayed where I was, listening intently.

"Of course not Ali! I love you." He kissed her and I knew all was forgiven. Rose and Emmett came back, holding hands, and I knew they were ok to.

"Next time don't mess around with me Emmett." I warned with a chuckled.

"Okay, Okay," Jasper said. "We've embarrassed the hell out of Emmett and I and Bella. How about you three? Anything you'd like to share?" I looked meaningfully at Edward. There was only one thing I knew about him, and it wasn't even a full description. Just a passing image.

"No way," Alice shook her spiky black hair, letting us know she didn't want to participate.

"Girls, you better start sharing before I do for you." They both knew what I was talking about.

"You wouldn't!" Rose glared at me, little Alice had her mouth wide open in surprise.

"Oh, I would. Come on, share something!" I was just giving them meaningless threats. I would never do that to them. Em and Jazz were different. I could embarrass them. It was fun.

"Ok, ok." Alice started. "I was living with those two girls I couldn't stand. Lauren and Jessica, remember them?" At Rose and my nod, she continued. "Well one night I had told them I was leaving, and they were going to have to find a new roommate to keep the rent and the house. They begged me to stay, but I told them I didn't like them. Plus I wanted a place of my own. So I told them that the next morning I planned to go shopping, spend my rent money since I was leaving. They didn't like that, and mysteriously all the mirrors were broken or gone the next day. I didn't think anything of it and just got ready without one. Well, on the way to the mall a lot of people were giving me these curious stares. I finally couldn't take it and walked into a little dinner to use their mirror." She paused and we all waited while she continued. "They had messed up my eyebrows and drew indecent things on my face in a permanent marker while I slept. It wouldn't come off for a week! I had to wear a scarf and sunglasses to go shopping!" she whined, burying her face. There was silence for a few beats before we laughed boisterously.

When we quieted down some, giving her the appropriate jokes for such an occasion we waited for Rosalie. "Okay, alright." Rose huffed, leaning back against the couch. "It's probably not that funny though," she thought back. "Hhmm, well before," she waved a hand over her stomach, "this wonderful miracle," she smiled affectionately and I had to hide my wince. I noticed Edward put his hands to my shoulders and smoother the tension. No one else paid us any attention. "I dressed fashionably. Well, I was getting Em a gift for his birthday, and the only store he wanted something from was this football fanatic's store. Now I wouldn't be caught dead in a store like that, so I borrowed some of Em's clothes, trying to blend in, wore a baseball cap, anything, and when I was done I looked like a genuine weirdo." We laughed at that. "So I walk in, and here I am, not the only one dressed the way I am. Apparently there's a freaking convention of weirdoes and they come on up and start hitting on me! I swear to God they were transvestites."

I burst out laughing at that. Rosalie, getting hit on by girls who looked and dressed like boys, Rose dressing like one. It was just so funny I couldn't help myself. If you knew Rose at all, that would be the most absurd thing ever.

"Edward's turn!" Emmett cried once he got over the horror of his Rosy dressing like a guy and being hit on by them and girls alike.

"Honestly, I have nothing that weird about me. " He tried to play it off.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." I told him with a smile. I saw his eyes narrow as he tried to remember what exactly it was he had told me.

"Come on Edward," Jazz encouraged. They were all looking at him. I was staring up at him. I could tell he was having trouble so I held him out.

"Remember the dress incident," he clapped a hand over my mouth, but it was too late. They had heard me.

"Dress?" Alice sounded intrigued. Emmett was trying hard not to laugh.

"You mean you wore it?" Em spit out, his face red.

"Well," he paused, not sure how to proceed.

"Go ahead, we won't laugh till the end." I promised, kissing his cheek. He sighed and began telling his story.

"I was three, so I didn't know any better," he began. Emmett waved with his hands for him to continue. Another sigh passed his gorgeous lips before he continued. "My mother had her niece over, she was five. She brought along… a tea set and attire. She was fun to play with, and ended up dressing me up, like her own personal life sized doll. " I knew how annoying that could be; on account of Rose and Alice did that to me weekly. I gave them both a glare and they smiled shamelessly. "Well, when she left she ended up leaving the dresses, so I put it on, walking around the house. For a while there I wasn't sure if it was wrong. I felt...pretty." he confessed. I saw a light blush, but he broke into a smile when everyone started laughing. They started talking among themselves and I couldn't stop myself from kissing him soundly on the mouth.

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" I laughed, tapping his nose.

"You so owe me," he winked and moved his hands lower to my hips, giving me a hint of how I was going to have to pay up.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 **

**Please review we need the support to know that you actually like our story I can promise you that it's actually going to be really good we are adding in all type's of drama we have up to chapter 22 done so if you want to see the chapters up faster please review please -puppy dog pout-**

We spent the rest of the night watching a movie with each other. I was sitting on Edward's lap, my head resting on his shoulder. His hands that had threaded with mine were resting on my stomach. Rose and Em were on the couch, Rose had her feet propped up and was slightly snoring, Alice and Jasper left a little while ago claiming they had to wake up early the next morning. No one believed them. Soon the movie was over and I popped out the DVD and gave it back to Em.

"Wake up Rosy, baby it's time to go home." He whispered and gently shook her awake. Rose's ice blue eyes opened and she smiled.

"Ok" She got up and came over and gave me a hug.

"It was nice to see you again Bella. Just think next time I see you I should be in the hospital about to deliver" Rose said excitedly, as she started to wake up more.

"Yea Rose I know I can't wait" I told her as I fought back tears. I was happy for Rosalie and Emmett, I truly was but it still hurt more then I could possibly describe. Rose sent me a smile and gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked over to hug Edward as Em came to hug me. As Rose hugged Edward I could hear her whispering to him.

"Be good to her Edward, she already cares for you a lot so please don't hurt her" She said and kissed his cheek as well. He nodded from here I could see Edward's eyes ablaze with determination and just a hint of fear.

"See ya Squirt" Emmett said and ruffled my hair. He walked over gave Edward a strong hand shake.

"You hurt her I cut your balls off and hang them on my mantle." Em said with a large smile.

"Emmett" I chastised while Edward smiled back.

"I wouldn't have it any other way" As Em and Rose left I walked over to Edward and laced his hand with mine and leaned my head into his shoulder. He released my hand and wrapped his arms around my waist. He leaned his head down on my shoulder and gave my cheek a peck.

"I promise you this Bella, for as long as you want me I'll never treat you badly, I'll never make you feel unwanted and unloved. Bella you mean everything to me and I have enjoyed our time that we've had together." After Edward said that I couldn't help the few tears that had escaped. My heart clenched then sped up double time. Never before had I ever felt like this.

Never had Jacob ever make me feel a sixth of what Edward makes me feel. I-I think I'm falling in love with Edward, and that scared the shit out of me. Jacob said he loved me and look what happened.

"Edward I'm scared" I said to him as I sobbed. Edward picked me up bridal style and walked to my room and placed me on my cot and laid down next to me.

"Of what Bella, come on, talk to me, please don't push me away." For the first time in awhile I opened my heart fully aware of the possibility of him hurting me.

"I'm falling for you Edward and it scares me because I never felt like this and I don't know what the future holds and it frightens me Edward. You could hurt me and then, then I don't know how I would cope. I just barely survived Jacob and the only reason I felt the will to move on was because of you" I told him honestly hoping I wasn't scaring him away, hoping he wanted me like I wanted him.

"Bella I'm falling for you too, I'm falling hard and fast and it doesn't matter what could happen later, what happens, happens. I want you to know this though I'm with you no matter what until you banish me away I'm always here for you. I want to be able to call you mine and I want you to call me yours" He said and held me tighter to his chest.

"Oh Edward" I said and turned to face him. I put a hand on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was sweet and gentle our mouths moved together in only a dance that we knew, no other could compare or comprehend. Edward traced my lower lip with the tip of his and I invited him in. Our tongues dance together in passion. I removed my hand from his cheek and moved it to the bottom of his shirt and I moved my hand to the inside. As I traced over his abs with my fingers his muscles rippled.

Edward pulled away and quickly stripped his shirt letting me see all of his very well defined muscles. He laid back down and peppered my neck and cheek bones all the way to my ear in kisses. He didn't try and push for anything more and for that I was grateful. I wasn't ready for that maybe soon if Edward and I are still together, but not here, not now, not yet. Edward then trailed his lips down to mine.

"I'm here Bella and I'm not going anywhere please trust me" He whispered and kissed me again not letting me respond. I felt everything he felt for me come out in just the smallest of kisses, I was his and he was mine. Once things had settled down I laid on Edward's chest after a little bit he spoke.

"I'm sorry Bella but its extremely late and I really must get going" He said and I could tell by his tone he really didn't want to go. I was already half asleep but the thought of Edward leaving instantly woke me up.

"Please Edward spend the night, I know my cot is small but I could make room please your more then welcomed to stay here" I offered to him hoping to take it. I saw him debating with himself but when I saw that his eyes had darkened and his forehead shaped down I knew what he had decided.

"I'm sorry Bella I would love to truly I would love to but I can't I have an early shift and I wouldn't want to disturb you" He pleaded for me to understand and I did.

"It's alright Edward I understand" I smiled slightly and got up Edward followed and picked up his shirt and hastily put it on. I grabbed a blue bed robe and followed Edward to my door.

"I wish I could stay but I want you to know that I had a really great time with you and your friends. thank you for inviting me" He said and his voice rang with honesty. He bent down and gave me an Earth shattering kiss, one that I hoped to get more often.

"I'll see you some time soon?" I questioned and Edward smiled. He bent down and kissed me again fulfilling his promise of making me feel loved and wanted.

"Of course Bella If I can and if it's not to much trouble I'd love to see you tomorrow when my shift is over?" He asked hesitantly like I would be objected to that, I scoffed.

"Of course Edward I look forward to it" And with that he was out of my flat and walking towards his Volvo all the while sneaking glances back at me. Once he got into his car safely I closed my door and locked it, I sighed, knowing I couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to work on Esme's piece.

I set up my easel and put the painting on it, I gathered up the pastels and turned on the bright lights, to be sure I don't mess anything up. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall near the t.v. it was 12:30 so I decided I'd work til 2:00 then _try_ and get some sleep. I picked out a rosy red and a nice pale pink; because Esme's cheeks had color in them that wasn't from embarrassment. I lightly shaded in the red not wanting to make it to dark and then added some of the pale. Next was Esme's hair, it was kind of a caramel color with a hit of rusty red. I lightly shaded her hair down to her shoulders where it curled and twisted. Next I worked on her husband whom I learned was named Carlisle . He was a doctor and you could tell by his stance, that he was confidant and understanding but in the presence of his son you see the playful air around him. I colored his hair in nice light sun tones. Edward's hair was harder it took three different reds and the perfect blend mix just to get it how it resembled in the picture. It seemed everything about Edward was more difficult to draw, everything about him was unique and different.

I was starting to feel slightly tired now, and even though it was only 2:00 I decided to get cleaned up and start packing up. I put away the canvas and washed my hands really well, wanted to make sure I got all the pastels off of me. I was about to walk in my room and settle for bed when suddenly several loud pounds came from my door. Wondering who that could possibly be I went to my door and put up the chain then unlocked my door. When I opened it I was surprised by who I saw.

"Edward?" I asked making sure my eyes didn't deceive me. Edward nodded.

"Do you mind if I come in?" He asked and I shook my head no. I closed my door took down the chain and reopened it inviting Edward to come in.

"Bella when I went home I got ready for bed but I wasn't tired at all. I tried everything I could think of to try and get to sleep but nothing worked, then I realized I couldn't get to sleep because I wasn't with you. I wasn't lying when I said that when I was with you it was the best sleep I'd ever gotten" Edward said and I blushed.

"Well then I wouldn't want to be the reason for your lack of sleep, so would you like to spend the night" I asked cheekily and Edward smiled and nodded. I didn't notice till now but Edward was shirtless and dressed in only red bed pants. I had gotten changed earlier when I started painting into some purple silk night cloths.

"Well then let's get to bed" I said and grabbed Edwards hand and lead him to my cot. I laid down and Edward joined me. Edward's arms wrapped around my torso and I snuggled deeper into his chest.

"Goodnight Bella." Edward said and gave me a chastised kiss on the lips.

"Goodnight Edward." I mumbled already drifting to sleep. Soon I was drawn into the oblivion known as my dreams and I hoped now more then anything I wouldn't sleep talk.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 Sorry we haven't updated in like forever (11 days) but school has been kicking aour butts and I have the SAT's and the PSAT's to take it's really annoying with the studying a stuff, so anyway please review!**

"Hi Bella!" Abby skipped up to me in the park. Her long hair was flowing behind her, loose and free. She was wearing a cute little yellow sundress with pink flowers all around it. She had a pair of those kid sunglasses on, yellow and in the shape of stars. Her sandals were bright white with little yellow stars around the thick band that went over her cute little, shocker there, yellow painted toenails.

"Hello Abby, how are you?" I smiled as she grabbed my hand. Her's was nice and soft, warm and comforting.

"I'm great. I'm glad you keep coming to visit me. " She grinned before pulling me along with her.

"Well Abby, it's starting to seem like I don't have much of a choice." I laughed along with her as she pulled me through the small trail running through the forest. "Where are we going?" I asked, instantly worried, but not wanting to leave the girl alone.

"To visit Daddy. He wants to see you." She kept a firm grip on my hand, pulling me faster. I had to run to keep up with her. She was fast for someone who was only three feet tall with little legs.

"Abby, I don't think that's such a good idea sweetheart." I tried to get her to slow down, but already we were nearing the light through the end of the forest. "Sweetheart…"

"Abby, honey where are you?" I heard a sweet velvet voice ask the entrance of the woods.

"Here Daddy!" she cried, finally letting go of my hand and jumping into the arms of the man before us. I couldn't make out his face yet. I cautiously stepped forward. He looked my way, and I gasped.

"Bella?" It couldn't be, "Isabella?" No, "Bella!" I opened my eyes quickly, looking up into Edward's face. I yelped and ended up tossing myself over the edge of the small cot. I heard a bark of laughter and then Edward looked over the edge, giving me a hand. on impulse I pulled with as much strength as I could muster. He gave me a funny look when it didn't even cause him to topple a little. I groaned.

"Couldn't you have played along?" I asked sullenly with a small pout.

"Why don't you try that again?" he asked with a gleam in his eyes.

"Nope," I turned my head, crossing my hands over my chest. "The time has passed." I heard his quiet chuckled before he leaned down and picked me up, setting me on the edge of the bed next to him. This was the first time I had a chance to look at him, and it appeared he was already dressed. I flicked the collar of his polo and he caught my hand.

"I have to go to work, but I wanted to let you know before I ended up going."

"Oh, thanks for your consideration." I smiled and snuggled back into the pillows. They smelt like him. I closed my eyes, but after a few seconds I sensed he wasn't leaving so I cracked open my eyes again. "What's wrong?"

He looked away with a blush. "I was wondering, did you realize, or even know for that matter, that you were sleep-talking an awful lot last night?"

I groaned and buried my head into my pillows. "I know I do, yes. But I was at least hoping you wouldn't be able to hear anything."

"Well, I heard a lot of jumbled phrases, but I could piece them together for the most part." He said shamefully.

"Terrific." I muttered. "What'd I say?"

"Well, you were," he coughed lightly, "Talking about me some," I looked away and blushed, remembering _that _particular dream, "and then you stopped, and restarted talking about someone named, Abby..?" he trailed off, asking if that was the right name. I nodded my head, screwing up my eyes to try and remember what it had been she wanted to show me. "Then you started talking about her dad and the woods…"

"Yeah, I don't remember it clearly exactly." I told him. He didn't press for more information, but he did ask one question.

"Who's Abby?"

I looked over to him. "A little girl I met at the park one day. She was very sweet, and very inspirational." I smiled back at the memory.

"Oh, was she now?" he too grinned.

"Yeah, just like you." I closed my mouth up tight. I hadn't wanted to remind him about his portrait. I was hoping he would have forgotten. He smiled wide.

"Lovely, a reminder. And when will I be able to see this portrait?" He leaned over me, forcing me farther back into the mattress. I closed my eyes, not falling into his unique green ones, trying to keep a firm lock on my control, but then I never expected his tongue to snake out and lick at my neck. A groan came from somewhere in the room. I blushed before opening my eyes, realizing it was my own. His eyes were darker and his breathing was slightly labored. He leaned down and suckled on my neck, inhaling, causing me to moan as he continued to lick at the skin. He sucked hard and then soothed it with his tongue before pulling back. "I have to leave, already I'm late because of you, you little vixen," he kissed my closed mouth quickly before sitting up. "but we'll continue this later, don't worry." He left, closing the front door behind him after saying a quick goodbye.

I sat still, trying to control my raging hormones and breathing. I glanced at the clock. Eight-fifteen. If he was late, then work must start at eight for him. I winced, thinking he stayed a few extra minutes because of me. I hoped he wouldn't get in trouble. Even if it was early in the morning, sleeping next to Edward had given me the most peaceful sleep I've ever gotten.

I got dresses in sweat pants that I rolled up to my knee and a t-shirt to match. Today was the day. I was going to finish Esme's painting. I got out all my supplies, everything I was going to need to put the finishing touches on the portrait. Then I froze, remembering Edward's portrait. I rushed back into my room and grabbed it from the closet. "I'll put you away before the real you comes back." I promised the painting, and myself. I wasn't ready for him to see it, and I wanted to see how serious he was about this morning. A shiver ran through my body as I hurried back into the kitchen. I put my music on loud, clearing my head of anything but it and my painting. This was it.

I sang along to the song I was listening to, a new song I heard from Emmett days ago.

**Here's to the note she wrote, well raise the bottle  
Oh, got drunk and made out with a model  
What the hell is going on tonight?**

I tweaked a few things here and there on the drawing as I hummed along, not yet knowing all the words, except for the chorus. I had all their hair done, Esme's face, the top half of the clothing. I started on Carlisle , deciding to finish him before I began working on Esme or Edward.

**It seems I'm stuck in game mode  
The settings are hit it and quit it, don't go home alone tonight  
Girl, you're alright, girl, by my side**

**You weren't the best I've ever had  
You weren't the best I've ever had**

I paused briefly in my humming to concentrate on Carlisle 's suit jacket. It was a grey, navy type of color. I studied it for a few moments as I tried to see what colors would be good to blend and create the right shade to match. I mixed a few blue-grays and dark navies until I had an almost exact replicate. Coloring with one pastel first, I colored in part of his suit, the darker part the light didn't touch. It was almost hidden in the shadows of the large room.

**We're the boys with the cars that show off our scars that get the girls that rock your world  
Don't you wish you knew what it was like to be me?  
**

I finished half of his suit, making sure I left enough room at the bottom so that my hand didn't smear any of the pastels accidentally. I began mixing a light shade for the other half, first trying a little bit of white over top of the other color.

**Here's to the note she wrote, well raise a finger  
Obscene gestures, so she said  
But I only said sweet things to get you in bed**

I paused in finishing the entire jacket of the suit, glancing at the clock before getting up to make some breakfast. I sang alone as I made a bowl of cereal, standing near the sink while I ate, I finished listening to the song. I already had it on repeat, so it began again before I had to walk over and change it. I shrugged, decided to listen to it again, and washed my bowl before setting it on a towel to dry. I dried my hands thoroughly before returning to my workstation. I stared at Esme's dress, a unique combination of gold and green, with a small beaded bodice, Esme was a petite woman, and began planning. I grabbed all the colors, bringing them closer to me. I picked out the lighter and darker greens I thought would go good together, and grabbed the silver and gold while at it. I dabbed a little water into a tray and scraped off little pieces of the colors, mixing them to form a liquid combination. I added flecks of gold in my concoction and a small dab of silver. I swirled them around, mixing them until they blended. It was perfect. I began working on her dress, careful and attuned to the simple yet delicate design.

**And she was touching, teasing me  
Her game was good, but I was playing easy  
See I had the will to leave it alone**

Finished with that up to where I stopped on Carlisle 's suit, and noticing it was a little past ten, I stood up to stretch, keeping the music going on the same song. Don't you love the ones that don't get old? I sang along as I stood studying the picture Esme had given me. Next would be Edward's little outfit. And his cute little teddy, Killer. I still laughed at the name. It was adorable. Edward's outfit was white mostly, with beige and just a splash of green, like his mother's dress, to bring out his sparkling eyes. I used the same green from Esme's dress to add the color needed to his outfit. The bear was slightly trickier. In the picture the light it was in was darker than I wanted it to be, thought it would look good in. But I didn't want to lighten it incase the bear was really that dark in person. I studied his eyes instead, little button eyes that were a solid black color. Now that was easier to deal with. I did the eyes, finished Edward's outfit, and the whole left side of the drawing, including Carlisle . His pants were easy enough to color in, and the carpet was a plush dark redish-brown color, also easy enough to mix together. Glancing at the clock again I realized it was almost lunchtime. I sat staring at the picture, trying to figure out what to do about the bear, when two things happened at once. I was singing along to the next part of the song, and the front door to my flat was being slowly pushed open. I didn't notice until it was too late.

**Though her words were mean she still escorted me home**

**And she said, "You're with the best you'll ever have"  
And I said, "You're not the best I've ever had"**

Singing those two sentences I felt myself seized from behind. A quick yelp escaped me as I came face to face with Edward. He was grinning down at me evilly. I barely got out his name before he bent his head and crashed his lips onto my own. I gasped into his mouth, tangling my fingers in his hair. I heard his groan and then his tongue was exploring my mouth. My body was flush against his and I could feel his happiness from down below. I giggled and pulled back. Edward moved his head to my neck, moaning again when he saw his little love bite from earlier.

"Edward," I tried to be coherent. "Edward, stop." I laughed as he sighed and pulled away. "What are you doing here?" I asked, slightly breathlessly.

"Early lunch. Thought I'd stop by and see what you were doing. And of course, kissing you was just an added bonus." I flushed and turned back into the kitchen.

"What would you like to eat?" I asked shakily.

"You." I spun around.

"Edward…" he changed topics almost immediately.

"What are you listening to, naughty, naughty Bella?" he asked playfully, coming back towards me until he had me trapped against his hard angled body and the sink.

**We're the boys with the cars that show off our scars that get the girls that rock your world  
Don't you wish you knew what it was like to be me?**

"Oh my god. This one's amazing. He's not like all the other guys"

"Dude, I think this girl's falling for me."

**"Yeah" **

**"I don't know if I should, but it would be so easy"  
**

"It's um," damn, I used to know. "A Day Away, and the song is…" I trailed off even more, trying to turn my head. He gently bit my earlobe, causing me to groan again.

"What's the song called, love?" he asked huskily. He began tracing patterns on the exposed part of my stomach where the shirt didn't completely meet the sweats. He knew what it was called, and he was torturing me with it. "Isabella?" he asked, kissing the side of my neck, no doubt feeling the erratic beating of my pulse.

"It's called, um,"I had to pause to catch my breath. His hand was trailing lower, yet not quite where I wanted it to be. I groaned and arched back, trying to communicate without words what I wanted most.

"Nuh uh. You still haven't answered me yet darling." His thumb flicked lowly, making me cry out, but was gone in the next instant.

**Don't you wish, don't you wish you knew what  
Don't you wish, don't you wish you knew what  
Don't you wish, don't you wish you knew what  
**

"Oh God, Edward," this was driving me insane. It was too much to do nothing about, but not enough to satisfy me. "Please." I hissed, moving my hips up. He evaded, keeping my trapped against his hard body and the hard counter. I flung my head back as I tried to reach that height, but he wouldn't let me, stopping before I reached it. He hadn't even done anything to insure this! All this teasing was driving me up the wall. I had to keep my eyes closed, knowing I would cave if I didn't.

**You weren't the best I've ever had  
You weren't the best I've ever had**

"Isabella," he called my name, but I ignored him, hearing the song continue in the background. My head was moving around on its own, almost in sync with my hips. He was rubbing the skin still showing, not doing much more than that.

**We're the boys with the cars that show off our scars that get the girls that rock your world  
Don't you wish you knew what it was like to be me?  
**

"Isabella, what is the name of the song?" he whispered lowly in my ear. It was all coming to an end, everything. I took a deep breath.

**We're the boys with guitars, we're big rock stars  
Yeah, we'll steal your girl, and rock her world  
Don't you wish you knew what it was like  
Don't you wish you knew what it was like to be me?**

"Touch me, Tease me. " I whispered. I heard his growl before he ground his lower, regions, against my pelvis. I hissed at the friction. Finally something. "Edward, please."

"Not now, we can't now." He said in a very, very strained voice. "God, I wish we could." He leaned back, giving our southern regions some space. "Tonight, if that's what you want. We can tonight. I have to go back to work for a few hours, but then I'm done for the next two days." He kissed me before I could ask a question. He pulled away and I took my chance.

"How does that work? Working one day, getting off two?"

"I'll explain later," he told me, setting me upright. He kissed my head before walking back to the door. I could still see his, big, problem. "Oh," he paused, one hand on the doorknob. "I promise you, I will be the best you'll ever have." And he was gone.


	13. Chapter 12

**Ok I only have 79 reviews, is there anyway for you guys to help spread the word of our story? On my last story by now I had like 150 so yea I'm a little discuraged but anyway here's your chapter please review!!**

**Chapter 12 **

The nerve of that basterd leaving me all hot and bothered and not even finishing what he started. But Bella he did promise to finish it later tonight, if I wanted to. Did I? I had to ask myself, this was a lot to think about I had to talk to someone about this. I picked up my phone and started to go through my contacts. Hmm first was Alice...no I wouldn't talk to her she would make it into something big and try to dress me up and I wasn't up for barbie Bella today. I kept scrolling down, when I stopped I had to laugh, my dad yea _Hell no_. He still wanted to arrest Jacob as it is, and I don't think he'd want to talk about my sex life with me. I kept scrolling and when I thought it was hopeless I finally found the person, I smiled and clicked send. After a few rings the finally picked up.

"Hello, Bella" Roselie said slighly breathless.

"Hey Rose. Did I call at a bad time?" I questioned while fixing me up some lunch.

"No Bella, I've just been walking around, I hear walking can help induce labor, well that and sex but Emmett at the gym...damn him" I heard her whisper and I laughed.

"Well I was wondering if you could come by my place, I have, not a problem but a complication it's hard to explain" I offered her.

"Sure Bella I don't mind at all, if you don't mind me asking why didn't you talk to Alice" I sighed and played with a lock of my hair as my cheeks tinted pink.

"Lets just say she'd blow things out of perportion"

"Oh ok I understand I'll be right over" She said and hung up without saying bye. I sighed and started putting away the painting and pastels, I would finish once Rose left. I finshed making myself a ham and mayo sandwhich. I sat down and start munching, thinking things over. Soon the door barged open and Rose came waddling in, huh that was nice Edward forgot to lock the door. Rose sighed and sat next to me while rubbing her large belly.

"So what's up hun" Roselie said and patted my shoulder.

"Well Edward spent the night last night, and befor you ask no we did nothing, anyway he stopped by today for an early lunch, and well we almost went all the way and I wanted to I really did, Edward said tonight if I was ready we would do it, but that's just the thing I'm not sure anymore, no that's not ture because I am sure about Edward. It's just I'm scared Roselie" I said honestly lokking her in the eyes.

"Oh Bella of course your scared you'd be crazy not to be. Honey Edward's not Jacob though, Emmett talked to him last night and he said that he thought Edward was a really great guy and wasn't just trying to get in your pantes, but Bella tell me when you think about Edward what's the first word that comes to mind" Rose asked me and I awnsered with hesitation.

"Love" Rose gasped Jacob might have said he loved me often but I hardly ever said it back because it never felt right, but with Edward I couldn't think of any other feeling to describe how I feel for him.

"Bella you might not think your ready but I do, now I can't make your desitions for you I con only ofer support and help but that's just what I think" Rose said and I nodded.

"Of course thank you so much Rose" Rose giggled and got up.

"I'm sorry hun but Em should be leaveing the gym soon, and lets just say one way or another this kid is coming tonight" Rose warned and walked out locking the door behind her. I loved Edward I concluded, but how did he feel about me? I sighed and got the painting and pastels out but I wasn't able to concentrate. I put the pastel down and thought, I had to take a risk and be ready to open up if not I'll end up pushing Edward away and I didn't want that. So it was dicided tonight I'd tell Edward I loved him and if he didn't run away screaming, we'd make love.

I wanted to finish the painting but I couldn't not until I knew the exact shade the killer -_snickers_- was. I was a very thero artist that's what Aro said he also said that was the reason my art was so popular, my fine attention to details as he once said. So I decided to play dirty and call him mommy. I found her cell phone number that Esme gave me and called her.

"Hello" Esme questioned.

"Hello Esme it's me Bella I'm almost finished with your painting but I have to know what shade killers fur was so I get it just right in the painting do you possibly know where killer was" I asked sweetly and Esme chuckled.

"of course dear I would love to tell you but as Edward's mother I've sworn to secrecy, but what I can tell you is that it is not in his house" Esme said secrativly and I think I know at least the location of Edward's teddy killer.

"Thank you so much Esme" I said and she just laughed and said a quick good bye and hung up. Well I knew I couldn't finish it at least until Edward came back. I left out my painting and sat on the couch and turned on the t.v. to watch the news, I soon feel asleep. I felt gental nipping along my cheek bone and then something blow into my ear sending delightful shivers through out my body. I opened my eyes and met the candy apply green of Edward's.

"Good afternoon love I'm so happy to see you awake" Edward said and kissed me on the lips.

"It's nice to wake up to you again Edward but I was wondering how the hell did you get into my place" I questioned and Edward chuckled.

"you have a key under your mat Bella but I brought it in because I don't like the idea of someone being able to lift your mat and come in" Edward said and his voice turned from the playfulness to stern, it turned me on.

"Edward I've been doing a lot of thinking about what happened during lunch" Edward's face fell and he turned shameful.

"I'm sorry Bella, I pushed you didn't I. I'm so sorry we don't have to do anything. Ugh what was I thinking of course you wouldn't be ready for any-" I stopped him with a kiss and cupped hi cheek, I hesitantly nipped at Edward's lower lip then sucked it into my mouth gently pulling at.

"No Edward you didn't push me but I do want to talk to you" Edward closed his eyes and nodded then reopened them.

"Edward I'm scared I know you know this but what I'm not scared about is you. I'm scared about what could happen to me, I've been hurt before Edward unbelievibly so, but Edward what scared me the most are that my feelings for you are so much stronger then what I ever felt for Jacob and I don't want to disapoint you, Edward I-I think I'm, in love with you Edward and I don't what to do I'm scared you'll leave" I finshed as tears fell from my eyes from my admission. It was now or never, eather he loves he back...or he'll leave, forever. Edward gasped and starred at me wide eyes. Oh god he was going to leave I scared him off.

I qiuckly got up and ran to my room and locked my door I fell against it with a thud and sobbed, I went to fast for him, of course he doesn't love me he wants kids, and I don't know if I can give him that. The door handle juggled and then several knocks came from the door.

"Bella please let me in" Edward said his voice slighly muffled by the door, by hearing his voice I sobbed harder why couldn't he leave it would just make it easy on the both of us.

"Bella please listen to me, I'm not leaving, I would never leave you and what I want to say I want to say it to your face not to the door now please, open up" His word had a double meaning, he wanted me to open up, so I did. I unlocked the door and Edward rushed in quickly gathering me in his arms and kissing me until it was hard to breathe, when I looked back at Edward He had tears in his eyes as well.

"Bella I love you too, nothing you ever do will disapoint me, we in the futer we never have kids together I would be fine with that, because I was with you. Bella you know I'm nothing like that basterd whom hurt you so much. If I was lucky enough to have you hold my child for any amount of time and something happend I _would_ be there for you" He told me with so much passion I think I might have melted on the spot.

"Edward" I whispered. He looked up at me with nothing but love shining in his eyes.

"Make love to me" I said and he nodded.

Nothing was fast, nothing was rushed. He picked me up bridel style and walked to my cot and showered my face with kisses. He slowly took off his shirt and returned to my mouth. Our lips moved together as I tracd his muscle's with my finger tips. I went over his nipple and traced his abs which tenced and rippled under my touch. As we broke away for air I put reach and started to pull at my shirt. Edward's hands waved mine away and he ducked his head and as he slowly took off my shirt he kissed every inch of exposed skin, like I was something to be worshipped.

When he reached my belly button he traced around it with his toung and nipped at it. I fell back on elbows and moaned,never before had foreplay ever held the emotion and feeling as it did right now. Edward contiued on and soon reached the vally of my breasts, I was waring a simple pale pink bra with a lilly in the center.

"So amasing" Edward mumered and kissed each side of my breast as he took the rest of my shirt off. He then went back to my lips, I trailed my tonge along his lower lip as he granted me accsses, instead of trying to dominant the kiss he let me explore his mouth. Soon I was gasping for breathe, but I couldn't stand not having my mouth on him. I sat up a little and started trailing kisses all along his chest and trailed them down to his stomach when I reached his happy trail I stopped and looked up and smirked at Edward who had his head back eyes clouded by lust lips parcially open in pleasure. I started to undo his belt and slip off his pants when he moaned spurring me on even more. I soon threw those out off our way, I didn't notice before but I did now, Edward didn't ware boxers, he didn't ware anything. Edward smirked at me and gently layed me down. Edward then unbuttoned and sipped my pants he then hooked his fingers bring down my pants and panties at the same time. Edward then trailed kissed on my shoulder then to my mouth as he placed himself at my entrance.

"Are you sure about this Bella? " Edward asked and I kissed him passinatly on the lips.

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life" I whispered and he nodded, he then pulled back, maybe he wasn't ready. One look at my panicked face and he held up a finger halting me. He fished threw his pants and in his walet pulled out a condom. He ripped the seal and placed it on his tip and slid it down his shaft. Just as Edward was about to enter and make me whole, my cell rang.

"Leave it" Edward moaned, but I was destracted by the ring tone.

"Edward do you know who's playing" I asked excitaly already up from underneath Edward gathering my cloths.

"Yes Bella The Great Escape by Boys Like Girls, now why the hell does that explain why I'm not making love to you" He asked probably thinking I've gone crazy.

"Oh right you don't know. Well we set it up at the begging of Rose's pregnancy that when she finally goes into labor all of our phone's will play that song, you know like the baby is escaping and coming into the world, it's more of a joke then anything...Well come on Edward get dressed we need to get to the hospital." I hurried Edward alonge as he sighed and took off the condom and threw it in the trash near my bed. He tried and stuff his erection into his pants but was having a hard time.

"Just wear your pajama pants and think about women giving birth" I said and threw his pants at him. Edward smiled.

"So Bella what was going to be your song if you don't mind me asking" I inhaled deeply as tears sprund yet again. He didn't know how it would affect me, he doesn't mean it just tell him and move on, I tried to reason with myself.

"Um it was eather going to be Hero/heroin by Boys like Girls because I wanted to deliver without any pain medication and everyone thought me to be a heroin, or Bound To Happen by Spill Canvas, because everyone knew I loved children and I wanted some sooner or later" I tried to say without my voice cracking but failed. Edward came up behind me and hugged me.

"I'm sorry Bella I was an idiot" He said and kissed my neck. I lifted my arm up and put my fingers threw his unruly bronze locks.

"It's ok Edward you didn't know" I reasoned.

"But I should have guessed it would have been hard for you to talk about" I smiled and nodded sadly, "yes Edward it's hard for me to talk about and I think it always will be but it's getting easyer when someone is hear with me, supporting me" I told him and turned around to nussel in his embrace. Soon my phone was going off again and I went over to pick it up.

"Yes Em I know were on our way" I said chuckling at his impationtions.

"Hey Bell it's not Em I told him not to interupt but he didn't listen, I'm sorry don't stop anything on my account" I heard Rose panting on the other end and I chuckled.

"To late Rose we're on our way now" I said and hung up before she could protest.

"You ready to go Edward?" I asked and he nodded.

"I am now Bella, lets go" Edward said and grabbed my hand as we walked out and locked my flat.


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Edward drove us to the hospital in record time. Everyone but Rose and Emmett were in the waiting room. Alice saw us first as Jasper continued to pace. She rushed over and pulled me into a hug before she did the same to Edward. He looked flustered for a moment before he got a hold of himself and hugged her back. Alice grabbed each of our hands and pulled us over to where Jasper just noticed his little pixie to not be.

" Alice , don't run off like that." He said in relief. "I thought you heard something." He saw us and smiled. He pulled me into a hug as he kissed the top of my head. Edward and him ended up shaking hands and talking while Alice pulled me over to a couch and sat me down. She made sure the guys were well occupied before turning on me.

"Rose told me what you and Mr. Edward over there were up to." She wiggled her eyebrows, but thank the lord she at least kept her voice down.

"I was going to tell you Ali, I just hadn't gotten a chance yet." She waved me off.

"No, I know why you didn't yet, so don't make up any excuses. Rose spilled her guts when we were bringing her here. She told us not to bother you,"

"Yeah, she mentioned it. But I would rather be here for her."

"I know, that's why we had to call you. We had to at least give you the option." She smiled and zipped her lips when the guys started walking towards us. She pulled me into a hug before talking about what she thought the baby was going to be. "I just know it's going to be a baby girl!" she squealed from atop of Jasper's lap. Edward was sitting behind me and I was laying back against him. "She's always wanted a girl, even if Em wants a boy. Oh, this is so exciting!"

"Yea," I agreed, keeping my own pain to a minimum. This was all Rose had ever wanted, and I was happy. But know matter how long it was until, or even if, I had a child I was always going to be jealous.

Emmett came to collect us about a half hour after we arrived. "The doctors said it'll probably be a few more hours, so you guys can come on in and see her." His smile lit up the whole room. He was so proud, anyone could tell. He led the way to her room, letting us all walk in before himself. He went around to Rose's right, handing her a bottle of water he picked up on the way over. She drank it sparingly before giving us all a bright smile.

"Hey guys." Her voice, usually so calm and perfect was laced with weariness and a little bit of pain. Her hair was sweaty, but up in a ponytail. She had no makeup on and right then and there I decided she had to be the prettiest person I've ever seen.

"Hey," we chorused. Alice was the first to walk over to her, kissing her cheek before hugging her as best as she could. "I'm going to go shopping as soon as baby here is born, and get you three a nice present, but I want to make sure of what it is before hand." she said, teeth gleaming in the fluorescent lighting. I laughed, telling them the same thing. Alice had forced me to not go shopping without her, and she wanted to wait until she knew what it was. Rose and Em had wanted it to be a surprise, so never asked the doctor. Rosalie groaned and we took that as our cue to leave.

"We'll come back in when it's all over." I told her sweetly, kissing her cheek before Edward grabbed my hand and steered us away. Emmett was whispering to her and Alice and Jasper were on the way to the waiting room. This was going to be a long day…

Alice and I talked for a little bit but pretty soon I feel asleep in Edward's arms, awaiting the news. I was woken up by voices, talking about me presumably. "Is she out cold? Rose needs to see her…"

"Hhmm," I mumbled, coming to. "Rose needs me?" I lurched forward, thinking something was wrong.

"Calm down love." Edward held me to him until I was more awake.

"Yea Squirts, everything's fine. We just wanted to talk to you."

"Of course." I shook my head to try and get myself awake. Everyone around me just laughed quietly until Emmett took my hand and led me to Rosalie. She was sweatier than before, and looked ready to deliver at any moment. Doctors and Nurses were swarming around, getting everything prepared. I looked over to her grimacing face. "Not long now!" I told her excitedly, clapping my hands. They both laughed.

"Bella, Emmett and I were wondering," she had to pause for a minor contraction. "Whew, talk about pain."

"You haven't felt anything yet," A nurse chuckled from where they were getting her pain killers ready. "Hopefully, you won't have to." Rose groaned and turned back to me.

"Bella, we were wondering if you wanted to be the Godmother to our child." Rose asked, tears swimming in her eyes. Emmett couldn't get that goofy grin off his face.

"Me?" I asked excitedly.

"Yes Bella, you." Emmett said, squeezing Rose's hand.

"But, I thought you'd want Alice …" I trialed off, too happy for words.

"We'll have her on the certificate too, and if everything works out with you and Edward, we'll add his name after Jasper's for the Godfather's, but right now, we want you to be number one of the certificate, for the Godmother. Will you?" Rose explained, eyes shining with tears. They would never know how much this meant to me.

"Of course." I leaned down and hugged Rose as hard as I could without hurting her. "Of course I will." I hugged Emmett next and he ended up swinging me into his arms before Rose started groaning in pain.

"It's almost time," A doctor said, checking out the machinery. "I suggest you leave," he told me with a smile, "It won't be too pretty a sight to watch." I kissed Rose and Em once more before leaving, wishing them both the best of luck.

Alice was anxious to hear the news when I got back to the waiting room. I rushed up and hugged her. "They want me to be the Godmother! Alice, the Godmother!"

She squealed, hugging me tight. "Bella this is wonderful! Next to Em and Rose you're going to be the most important person to it!" We laughed and danced around while Edward and Jasper just looked on in amusement. They shared a look which from where I was jumping seemed to silently convey that we were girls and this was what we did.

"Ahem, friends of Rosalie and Emmett, we are proud to tell you the delivery was a success!" Emmett's clear, proud voice filled the waiting room. We all jumped up, eager to see the baby.

"What was it Em? Tell me what it was? I have to go shopping!" Alice whined, rushing into the delivery room. I heard a coo and then Alice was squealing again.

"You better get that kid earmuffs pal." Edward grinned as he walked behind me, arms around my waist. I pushed the door opened and saw Rose in bed, with that new mother glow, watching Alice hold her blue blanket baby.

"A boy?" I asked with tears in my eyes. Rose nodded, waiting for Emmett to come back around to her. He kissed her sweetly and just held her hand, watching his new born son. Alice kissed his tiny little head a few times before coming over to me. She handed me the baby, making sure I had him safely in my arms before letting go. "He's so tiny." I said, tracing his little nose and his one little hand that was peeking out above the blanket. "So soft…"

"What's his name?" Alice had calmed down, mostly because Jasper had her in his arms.

Emmett looked proud as Rose nodded towards him, closing her eyes with a smile on her lips. "His name is Ethan Nathanial."

"Aww!" Alice and I cooed. It was so cute. The guys ended up congratulating them both as I continued to hold little Ethan Nathanial. A few hours, some sad goodbyes, and promises to go shopping, Edward and I left. Alice said she was going to stay for an hour or two then she was going to call me to go shopping. I couldn't wait. I wanted to get my godson something extravagant. Jasper and Edward were going to come along to carry the bags.

We were driving along back to my flat when I remembered what I needed from Edward. I peered into the back seat as inconspicuously as I could. I stretched, trying to see farther back that was I was seeing already. I turned slightly in my seat.

"What are you looking for?" Edward asked, humor in his voice.

"Who, me?" I smiled sheepishly.

"Yes you. Why are you trying to look in the back for?"

"Well, I called your mom earlier." I started. He seemed confused. "And I asked about her painting, since I'm almost finished with it," still he looked confused as he pulled into the lot of my building. He shut off the car but remained seated, giving me a look that said, And? "And, well, I asked her about Killer." I hurried.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "What about him?" He didn't look to mad.

I sighed. Might as well get it over with. "I need to see him to finish the painting. It needs to be just right, and I need to see what color he is."

"He's brown." I scoffed when he smiled.

"You know I need to see it to mix the colors right. I'm very detail oriented."

"Mmhh, and that's what I love about you." My heart thumped in my chest. "But how much do you want to see Killer?"

"Without him I can't finish your mother's painting at least not to the best of my abilities, and I always try to do my best."

"So I'd say seeing Killer is pretty damn important, huh?" he leaned in closer to me and I was aware that it was just us two in the small compact car.

"Well, y-yes. He is," I stuttered, blushing violently.

"And you'd do anything to get your hands on him?" his voice froze my insides while at the same time made my whole body tingle in a flash of warmth.

"Of course," I whispered without thinking.

"Do you promise?" he continued to look deep in my eyes, entrancing me.

"Yes."

"Then, by all means, I will meet you upstairs with Killer in hand." he leaned back and stared at me. It took me a moment to realize that I needed to leave. I unbuckled hurriedly and stepped out, hearing Edward chuckled quietly behind me. I rushed into my flat, leaving the door open for Edward to come in. I quickly went into my room, finding it the way it was left, and zeroed in on Edward's painting. It was still up. Oh shit! I rushed over to it and barely had enough time to stash it under the little cot before I heard the door close. I changed my shirt into something old so I wouldn't be bothered having to change once I got started looking at Killer, mixing the colors and painting with the pastels. Edward walked into my room just as I was buttoning the over shirt, catching a glimpse of my bra in the process. I heard him groan and smiled to myself.

"I just want to take that off of you." He said through tightly sealed lips.

"Maybe later, I'm in a painting mood." I rushed past him, hearing him mutter to himself.

"Definitely later." I saw Killer as soon as I walked into the small kitchen. He was perched a safe distance away from the art still out on the counter and sitting exactly as he was in the picture with Edward. It was adorable! I cooed lightly, knowing I was going to have to give Ethan Nathanial a stuffed animal along with some clothes and toys. When was Alice going to get here?

I sat down at the table and Edward took a seat beside me. I grabbed the art supplies I needed, studied the bear in silence as Edward looked on, and started mixing colors. Mixing wasn't a job you needed to concentrate on, so I began talking to Edward as my hands worked, using my mind to subconsciously add whatever colors needed to be for the bear. "Thank you for bringing him in here Edward. I appreciate it." I smiled before turning back to my own work.

"No problem love." He kissed the back of my head while I worked. "But I will collect on my debt." I felt him settle back against the chair to watch me work.

"Wouldn't dream otherwise." I smirked over at him, thinking I had a pretty good idea of what it was he wanted. He sat in silence next to me as I completed the bear, being careful not to smudge anything else already done. I finished up the left back paw, and voila! "Finished!" I told him in a breathy voice, staring at my work intently to see if I had missed anything. It looked perfect.

"It's absolutely stunning." He told me, kissing the side of my neck. I glanced at the clock, seeing that I probably had an hour or so before Alice came to go shopping. I would need to take another shower, since I was covered in pastels. I got up to wash my hands, sensing Edward get up. He paused for a second while I added soap, probably looking at the portrait, before he wound his arms around my waist. "I'm ready to collect." He whispered, kissing the shell of my ear.

"We only have an hour…" I told him, thinking about the cuddling afterwards, the showers we would both have to take.

"It won't take that long." He told me, turning me around while I dried my hands.

"Sure of yourself?" I asked saucily.

His brows wrinkled in confusion, mine bent to mirror his own. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"What are _you_ talking about?" weren't we on the same page here?

"You first…" he told me.

"Aren't we going to make love?" I asked, my voice a tiny squeak. "I mean," I cleared my throat. "Isn't that what you want?"

"Of course! But I was thinking we could do that tonight, when we had more time. I don't want this to be a quick thing. I want to explore you, pleasure you, before I take you." He kissed down my jawline to my neck. I had to find to stay coherent.

"T-then what is it you w-wanted?" I stuttered as he kissed below my ear. A very sensitive spot.

"My portrait." He answered simply.

"No way!" I protested, breaking his hold.

He gave me a playful grin. "Now Isabella, you promised."

"I didn't know you wanted to see that!" I hissed, backing away from him.

"You didn't specify specifics." He followed after me, keeping his eyes on my movements, blocking when I tried to run out past him. He was leading me to my bedroom.

"It's not in my room." I blurted out before I could think better of it.

"I never thought it was," he smirked, practically on top of me. "Until now, that is." I closed my eyes, thinking of how much of a fool I was for giving it away. "Please, show me?" his breath fanned across my lips. How could I deny him anything? I sighed.

"Promise not to laugh?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." I sighed again before he grabbed my hand. I led him into the messy room and retrieved the picture from its hiding place. I had it facing me, so all he saw was the back. I sat on the bed and he did as well, facing me. I handed it to him wordlessly before closing my eyes and falling backwards onto the bed. I heard him gasp and moved my hands to hide my face. A few moments later he pulled them away.

"You did all this, just from looking at me once?" I meet his eyes, proud to find astonishment there.

"Everything was from that one time, except your eyes. They were a lot harder to detail out." I admitted, not wanting him to give me all the credit.

"Why, is something wrong with my eyes?" he crossed them, as if he could see them. I laughed.

"Edward, you're eyes are gorgeous! I could just get lost in them forever!" I told him, still lying back on the bed. He gently placed the portrait over on the bedside table before hovering over me.

"And I could lose myself in yours. So deep," he kissed my forehead. "So expressive," he kissed my eyelids, "so full of emotion," he kissed my nose. "Absolutely astonishing." Finally, he kissed my waiting and slightly parted lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He moved his hands, starting to undo the buttons before I stopped him.

"We can't, not enough time." I tried to tell him. He sighed heavily before rolling off of me.

"You're right, and I did say that we were going to do this tonight when we had more time. I'll run home and change before Alice gets here." He kissed me quickly before standing up, looking at his picture once more. "You have a natural talent Bella." I walked him to the door, receiving one more kiss before he left.

"I love you." I whispered to the empty hall, watching him pull away after tucking Killer somewhere safe. And tonight, I would get to show it.


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

I knew Alice would want to make sure that my outfit looked nice before we left to go anywhere so to save more time I was careful in how I chose my clothes. After my shower I shuffled through my closet nothing seaming just right. I then went for a few boxes of clothes I have underneath my bed. I pulled out one box and opened it, the clothes in there folded nice so no wrinkles would be on the clothes, Alice might have a heart attack. I chose some black leggings and a knee length jean skirt, I found a nice blue silk shirt and slipped that on. I wrapped my towel around my shoulders and brushed out my hair while blow drying it. Soon Edward walked threw my bedroom door way.

"Hey Bella, do you know when Alice is coming" I shrugged my shoulders and looked at my cell phone clock.

"Hmm I'd say about 10 minutes she'll be pouncing threw my door" I said and threw in a chuckle. Edward nodded and smiled while walking over and wrapping his arms around me.

"I've never seen you in this before" He said and played with one of the silk sleeves. I turned around in his embrace, I played with his simple tee and shrugged.

"Nothing in my closet was quite the look I was going for so instead I digged aaround in my special occasion boxes, because half way threw searching for the right outfit I realised something" I paused and looked into Edward's deep green eyes, he gave me a small smile.

"And what's that love?" He asked, tears started falling from my eyes and I buried my head into his chest.

"I'm shopping, for my godson Edward" I said happly, Edward tightened his hold on me.

"That you are" Edward murmured low in my ear. As Edward said that three loud knockes echoed threw my place. Edward and I disentangled and walked to the door hand in hand, I unlocked it and opened it to see Alice and Jasper hand in hand as well.

"Come in I just need to grab my purse and then we can go" I said cheerfully Alice looked slightly disappointed and she walked in, I wrapped an arm around her as she walked to my bedroom with me.

"What's wrong Alice'' I asked, I wrapped my arms around her as tears started to cascade, we sat on the couch as the guys looked on unsure what to do.

"It's not fair Bella, it's not fair I should be shopping for you too, you might not have been due when Rose was but you would have known the sex of the baby. You looking forward to that baby so much the light that your eyes held were so bright, but then you lost your light and you weren't you anymore. You scared me so much Bella I didn't want to lose my best friend, It's just not fair" She sobbed and buried her head into my shoulder, I hugged her tighter and gently rocked us as Jasper had tears in his eyes as well.

"I know Alice, It wasn't fair. I'm sorry I scared you guys so much, but I'm better now. And I'll never forget my first pregnancy, no matter how short I will move on from it which is all anyone could do" I told her in a hushed voice. She nodded in my shirt and Jasper came over and took her out my arms and murmured hushed words of encouragement. I never knew my friends had been effected by my loss as much as I had. I thought I was fooling them turns out I was hurting them more then helping.

When Alice looked up I noticed her mascara was still intact, she must have been crying earlier as well too, that would have been the only reason for the waterproof make-up. She gave me a small smile and hiccuped slightly.

"I'm sorry" She said and everyone nodded.

"I know hun, you what we all need, some shopping therapy" I said and the guys groaned as Alice squealed and clapped.

"That sounds great" Alice said and she got up as well and started walking to the door we all followed as the Door closed I turned around and started to lock it when, I remembered Esme's painting I ran real quick and grabbed it. As I walked out everyone gave me a questioning look.

"I finished Esme's painting and I want to give it to her before I forget, me and Edward will meet you at the mall" I said and Edward nodded and lead me to his car, I put the painting safely down and buckled up.

"My mom will be impressed you finished it so soon" Edward said and looked at me, I shrugged.

"I would have been done sooner if I didn't have all these distractions" I stated and put my hand over Edwards.

"Oh well she'll understand" Edward joked. I closed my eyes and realised in the moment, without realising it I had fell asleep. I woke up to slight shaking and looked into Edward's bright and humored eyes.

"What" I mumbled.

"Nothing, we're at my mom's...oh and I love you too" He said and gave me a peck on the cheek. We exited the car, I grabbed Esme's painting and walked over to the huge white mansion.

"Um wow" I stuttered.

"I already told you Bella, money isn't a problem, for our family" Edward said and wrapped is arm around my shoulder. Suddenly the door swung open and Esme came running out and launched herself into the arms of her son. Edward quickly caught her and twirled her around planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Oh Edward it's so nice to see you" SHe squeled, when she saw me she gasped and gave me a one armed hug.

"Oh and is this my painting" Esme asked delight clear in her eyes, I nodded and handed Esme her picture. By now Carlisle had made it to his wife in time to see the painting.

"Oh, my"Esme said with emotion thick in her voice.

"This...is, beautiful Bella, purely and wonderfully done" Esme said and handed the painting to her husband and gave me a tight hug. Since I had her so close I whispered something to her.

"Esme would you mind if I browed that picture of Edward in a dress, I want to paint that as well" I felt Esme chuckle and nod. She went inside as did Edward's father, to put the painting up but soon came back. Esme handed me a check for the painting with the picture underneath of that, to hide it from Edward. When I looked at the check I nearly choked on my own spit.

"This is way to much" I told Esme and once the picture was safe in my pocket, I tried to hand it back to her, but she shook her head no.

"There's 235 in there for you to take out for the supplies and the rest is what I owe you for taking time out and doing the painting, please take it I'll be insulted if you didn't" I gasped but nodded as not to insult Esme.

"I'm sorry to cut this short but me and Bella have to go to the mall now, we're shopping for her baby godson" Edward said clearly noticing my uncomfortable state.

"Oh how wonderful congradulation Bella, don't let us keep you" Esme stated and jokeingly shooed us away. As we got in the car I tried to give Edward the check to give to his mother but her refused.

"No Bella you earned that money so you keep it, I'm not giving it too her" Edward told me and I huffed upset. We arrived at the mall and walked to the food court where we said we would meet Alice and Jasper. Needless to say I was not surprised to see that Jasper was already holding three bags from Victoria Secret, and two from Macy's. But Edward was.

"We were only gone, what, maybe half an hour at most" Edward said shocked and I giggled at his astonishment.

"She's going easy on Jasper today." I stated and Edward's eyes went wide as we caught up with them.

"Ready Bella" Alice asked as we linked arms, Edward went to my other side and we laced hands.

"For this Alice, yes I am" I said as she skipped to baby gap, once there we separated. I knew for right now little Ethan would mostly be wearing onesies, so that was all I was worried about. I went to the rack marked newborn and started sifting threw it. One was green with a little fuzzy monster on the front with the words, 'Mommy's lil Monster, and 'Daddy's on Diaper duty. I had to get them.

Then I found one with 'Mommy and Daddy's lil Alarm Clock' I was so getting that, I took it off the rack and handed it to Edward not even looking at him. I went over to shelves and picked out a pack of five white onesies. I was looking threw the racks again a stifled a gasp as something caught my eye. I walked over to the rack where I saw it and swallowed the lump in my throat and picked up the pink onesie. I read it out loud to myself, 'Mommy's Angel' It was pink with a small sleeping teddy bear with wings decorated underneath the words. I single tear fell from my eye, but that was all I would shed. I didn't want to break down, not today for today was a time for celebration. Edward gently grabbed the clothing from my hand and put it some where.

"Come on Bella, Alice and Jasper are waiting for us up front" Edward murmured, I nodded and walked with Edward to the check out counter. After the things were rung up Edward tried to shoo me away with one hand insisting he pay.

"Edward" I sighed clearly agitated.

"Bella just go meet up with Alice and Jasper and I'll pay, I promise you can even pay me back" Edward said and I sighed and threw my arms up in agitation. Not in the mood to fight with him, Alice was chatting on her phone when I came out she looked discouraged.

"There not allowing visiters to see Rose or the baby, because the baby has a possible infection and doesn't want us to jeperdize the baby's or Rose's health." Alice said sad. I walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her.

"It'll be alright Alice once the baby's immune system gets stronger we can see Ethan" I said cheerfully, trying hard to hide my own fear. I had to remember, they didn't know about my infection until it was too late. Rose and the baby will be just fine, soon Edward walked out of the and I filled him in on what was going on.

" Can we go to your place tonight?" I asked and Edward nodded.

"Sure I don't mind" Edward smirked clearly remembering what happened this afternoon. Edward soon arrived to his house and I opted to leave my bags in the car as Edward picked up a bag I never knew he had bought. I offered to make dinner and Edward eagerly accepted. I cooked up some of my world famous Chilly con carne. I was listening to music as I stirred the pot, soon I felt Edwards hands on my hips as they swayed to the soft beats.

As the tempo increased I also increased the movement of my hips. Edward tugged me to him where I felt his erection already. I knew I was ready for this I was ready for Edward, I loved him. I turned in his embrace and kissed him passionately, while jumping into his arms. As Edward kissed down my neck to my cleavage I moaned.

"Edward make love to me" He nodded while nusseled his nose in my clevege. He reaced over to the stove and turned it off while I kissed his neck up to the shell of his ear and sucked the lobe into my mouth, I heard Edward hiss and it turned me on even more. Edward quickly ran up the stares to his room and kicked open his door open. He walked over towards his bed and threw me on it while growling softly.

"Clothes off now" He said and stared at me with lust clearly in his eyes. I smirked and reached down the hem of my shirt and slowly started to take it off, I guess I was moving to slow because Edward rushed over and practically ripped the shirt from my shoulders as his lips latched onto mine as we lowered to a lying position on the bed. Edwards hands were working magic on my over tensed muscles as he massaged my breasts, then my shoulders where he reaced my back and unhooked my bra. Edward detached his lips from mine and watched as the fabric fell from my torso. Edward kissed from my neck down to my nipples and took one in his mouth and palmed the other one and rubbed in circles while flicking the nipple every now and again.

I moaned and arched my back, Edward them trailed his lips down my stomach and reached my pants. He slowly unbuttoned them and hooked his thumbs and draged them down my legs along with my panties. He then placed lingering kisses on both of my hips. He then flicked out his tonge and licked along my lips. I moaned and arched my back as I gripped his silky hair. He looked up at me and smirked the broke away from me. He reached into his bedside table and took out a condom and put it on his length. Edward started kissing along my jaw to my ear.

"Are you sure your ready Bella, because if you don't stop me now I don't think I'll be able to stop later" Edward whispered and sucked my lobe into his hot mouth.

"Yes Edward I'm ready, don't stop" I moan and Edward slowly slide his length into my wet folds. Once he reached the hilt he stopped so I could adjust to his size, now Jacob wasn't small, but _good god _Edward filled me like no other. I thrust my hips to his and he took it as an ok to continue. He pulled out almost all the way then thrust himself back into me. As he thrust into me I couldn't stay coherent and my eyes rolled back in my head.

"God Edward harder" I almost yelled, glad that Edward had this huge house to himself with no close neighbors. Edward took one of my legs and put it over his shoulder where he could hit all the right places. I knew as soon as he hit my g-spot that I wouldn't last long. After a few more thrusts I felt myself spasm around Edward as he released himself into the condom.

He pulled out and I whimpered at the loss, he threw away the condom and crawled back into bed. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed alone his veins as I felt his pulse pounding much like how mine was.

"I love you Edward" I whispered as tears fell from my eyes, I was opening myself up and Edward could hurt me...but I knew he wouldn't, not on purpose. Edward nusseled into my hair.

"I love with my whole heart Bella I always will" and with that we both fell into a peaceful sleep.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 Alright so remember please review!!**

When I woke up I had a jumpstart of the heart. The room I was in wasn't my own. There was a warm leg thrown over my own and an arm wrapped around my chest. I held my breath, letting it out in a low _whoosh _when I saw that I was lying next to Edward. He was still asleep. I did a mental calculation and remembered it was a Monday. Didn't he have to work? I knew I worked as I pleased, unless Aro told me otherwise, but I didn't think a pediatrician had that choice. I looked at his alarm clock, noticing it was almost nine. I shook him gently. "Edward," I whispered. He mumbled incoherently before pulling me closer to his warm body. I snuggled deeper, wanting nothing more than to stay where we were. I was still exhausted from last night. But I had to know if he had to work.

"Edward, get up." He sighed, rolling over onto his back. "Edward." I pushed at his shoulder. Finally, not being able to take anymore of it, I propped myself up on my elbow, barely hovering over his inert body. I tilted my head to the side as if I were studying him. "Edward!" I yelled, his eyes popped open before locating my own. "Good Morning." I said cheerfully.

"It is when you're over me like that." He groaned, leaning over to kiss me. I giggled and pulled back.

"Edward, its Monday. Do you have work today?"

"Hhmm, not today." He sighed before sitting up, stretching. Neither of us had put clothes on the night before, so I traced the muscles on his chest. I clutched the sheet to my chest, making sure I didn't pull it to hard to expose his lap.

"So do you work when you please?" I asked, confused.

He laughed before leaning back over to kiss my neck. I shivered. "I work three days a week, and then only for four or five hours a day." He sat up as I looked downwards, still confused. Four or five hours a day, three days a week doesn't amount to many hours. I didn't want to pry, but I was still curious. Edward saw the look on my face, and explained. "Bella, I'm very good at what I do, so I don't need to work as hard, or as long as most people, yet sometimes get paid more."

"Wow, that's a hell of a job." I told him honestly. He laughed, pulling the sheet down and standing up. I averted my eyes, playing with the part of the sheet still covering my own body.

"I had to work pretty damn hard to achieve it." He told me. He stopped speaking for a moment and just stood there. I was afraid to look up. "Bella," I looked up involuntarily. Bad idea. I saw him in all his naked glory, blushing furiously I quickly looked down before squeaking up an answer. "Would you like to join me in the shower?" he asked. I could tell he was fighting a smile. I continued to blush but nodded my consent. "Excellent. I'll start the water."

***

An hour later we stepped out of the shower, exhausted and fully sated. We were clean and we were relaxed more than I've ever been. That had to have been the best shower of my life. Edward lent me a pair of his boxers and a button down tee shirt, and I let my wet hair dry naturally. I offered to cook breakfast, since we hadn't had a chance to eat my Chili last night, but Edward said he was going to make French Toast.

When we got down to the kitchen I started on the dishes, feeling horrible about wasting a whole pot of Chili, but seeing as it was bad I had no choice. Edward and I commenced in easy chatter during a delicious breakfast, even if it was almost noon. Before I could finish my cell phone sounded from where I had left my purse the night before. I excused myself and walked over to the foyer, noticing it was Alice.

"Hey Ali, what's up?" I asked, leaning against the wall. I could hear Edward moving around in the kitchen, washing up his plate.

"We can go see Ethan today!" she squealed. I could hear Jasper in the background, telling her to keep it down, but she just laughed and kept on going. "Jasper and I are getting ready to leave, and I just wanted to let you know, so you could meet us there."

"Oh my! Edward and I will be there in about half an hour or so!" I was so excited.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," Alice chided, bringing a smile to my mouth. "Did you spend the night with that man?"

"That I did Alice." I laughed as she began squealing again. I don't know how Jasper managed half the time.

"You have to tell me everything!" She commanded.

"Definitely, but when Rose is with us. I can tell you both at the same time."

"Deal! I'll see you in a few."

"Bye Alice." I hung up and walked back into the kitchen. Edward was at the sink, so I finished up a few more bites and brought my plate over, hitting Edward gently with my hip to move him over before I snagged an extra sponge and began washing.

"Who was that?" he asked, kissing my cheek before continuing to wash the frying pan.

"Alice. We can go see Rose and Ethan today. I told her we'd be there in half in hour, that is if you want to go." I looked up at him through my eyelashes.

"Of course. I'd love to." We got dressed and were out the door before twelve-thirty.

"Thanks for coming along Edward," I said when we were ten minutes down the road.

"Anything for you Bella. I'd love to see Ethan, and Rose, make sure they're both ok. Have you gotten around to talking to Emmett?" He asked as he drove along.

"Not yet. I didn't even get a chance to talk to Rose. Alice called, let me know, and then we had to get ready. I guess it slipped my mind."

"You have very…endearing friends." He told me with a smile.

I laughed, holding his hand over the console between us. "I know. They really are the best friends anyone could ever ask for." Edward parked and we made our way up to Rose's room at the hospital. I had Ethan's presents with me, and I was planning a little something for Rose and Emmett to give to them at a later time. Before we even stepped off the elevator I could hear Alice , and hospital personnel telling her to keep it down or they would remove her. Edward smirked over at me as I laughed, hurrying along to help Jasper control the little pixie. I walked into the room, Edward trailing behind me, and saw Ethan right away in Jasper's arms. Rose was sitting up in bed and Emmett was standing by her side, holding her hand. They all looked over to the door when I walked in. I saw Alice pulling things out of her bag, showing them to Rose and Em before setting them to the side to pull out something more. I saw it all yesterday as she got it, so I knew they were going to love everything.

I walked over to Rose, giving her a kiss on the cheek before pulling Em into a hug. I kissed his cheek when he finally released me. "How are you feeling?" I asked Rose.

"I'm great. God, I just can't stop thinking about how exciting this is going to be." She looked over at Em, then to Ethan with unshed tears in her eyes. "I just can't believe we created him, we made a little life, and brought him into the world."

"I can't imagine how that is," and I wished more than ever that I could, "but I know you guys are going to be the best parents, and Ethan is going to be spoiled rotten." I winked at them, turning to look at my little godson.

"Bella, want to hold him?" Jasper carefully walked over to me, ready to hand him over. I looked over and Rose and Em to see if it was okay.

"Isabella, you never have to ask!" Rose said with bewilderment in her eyes. "None of you do. We trust you all with him," she looked over at Em, then to Edward, "You're included in that too Edward." She said with a smile. Emmett walked over to Jasper once he handed me Ethan.

"Come on guys, let's go find something to do so these ladies can chat." Emmett waved goodbye to Rose, Jasper kissed Alice real quick on the forehead and Edward chastely kissed my cheek before they disappeared out the door, shutting it behind them. I twirled gently with Ethan cradled in my arms. Alice sat down on Rosalie's bed with her and they were both silent as I cooed to a wide eyed baby.

"Bella,"

I looked over to see them both staring at me intensely. I blushed and looked down at Ethan before taking a seat on the corner of Rose's bed, opposite Alice . "Yeah?" Ethan was closing his eyes, so I looked up at my two best girlfriends. They had shit eating grins on their faces.

"You did it?" Rose asked. I gaped at her. Alice giggled profusely.

"How can you tell?" I rocked my godson gently, smiling widely at the pair of them.

"You have that glow!" Alice commented, causing us all three to laugh.

"So," Rose said after a pause. "How was it? I need details to survive on. Emmett and I can't do it for a while now. We're both going to seriously combust before we get a chance to go at it again." We laughed and spent the next fifteen minutes sharing Ethan between us and talking about Edward's and my own escapades the night before.

"And he doesn't have to work today, so I'm going to see if he wants to hang out again today, either at his place or mine." I told them, watching Rose burp Ethan after his feeding.

"And what, pray tell, are the two of you going to be doing?" Alice asked, holding one of Ethan's new stuffed animals in her lap.

"Maybe try for our own little one." I stroked Ethan's head lightly, playing with the downy soft little fuzz there.

"Bella, please tell me your joking." Rose said, no longer in a playful mood.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"Honey," Alice began, "You barely know him. With Jake you and him had been together for months. At least you knew he loved you."

"Yes Alice he really loved me, first he cheats on me and then leaves me days after I lost our baby besides, Edward loves me," I told them calmly. "He tells me he'll be there for me forever. And I love him."

"Bella," Rose handed Ethan off to Alice before grabbing my hands. "I'm so happy you've moved on, and I'm so happy you found Edward. He seems to be a perfect guy, and he looks at you with nothing but love, but are you sure having a child now, with an almost complete stranger, is the best thing for you to do?"

I looked down but kept a hold of her hands. "I love him, but you're right. I don't want to rush into something again, and have him leave me when he found out he wasn't ready for that type of responsibilty. There's no way I could support a child on my own. But I do love him with all my heart." I looked up with tears brimming in my eyes. "I really love him guys." They didn't know what else to say, but I knew they were happy I wasn't going to try to get pregnant again. I knew he would still leave if he wanted, but I thought he would be different. Rose was right though, now just wasn't going to be a good time to try, now that I didn't have the baby in my hands I could see how silly it was to want that already.

The guys walked in a little while later to see Ethan asleep in his crib in his new shirt, 'Daddy's on Diaper Duty.' Emmett saw it and laughed, before crinkling his nose. Ethan was dirty already. Rose, Alice and I laughed as Jasper and Edward stepped back a few feet. Em changed him quickly enough, not waking him in the process. Rose yawned and Alice and I took that as our cue to leave, even after she protested. We knew she was tired, but before we left we all promised to go over to their house tomorrow since Rose was being released in the morning. We said our goodbyes and were on our way. Jazz and Edward were talking about sports or something while Alice and I walked behind them, talking about the guys in front of us and how cute Ethan was going to be when he was older. Emmett, we both agreed, was completely one hundred percent hot, and Rosalie was the image of a model.

It was agreed. Ethan Nathanial was going to be one of the cutest guys in the world. Both Edward and Jasper stopped walking when they made it out of the front doors of the hospital, standing there and talking while we continued to talk and walk up to them.

"Remember Bella, please don't try anything, okay?" Alice asked. I knew she was worried about me, and I was glad, but some things I needed to do, and make up my mind, on my own.

"I won't Alice . I promise." She kissed my cheek, gave Edward a hug, much to his surprise, and her and Jasper left to their car. Edward wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to him as we began walking back.

"Ethan is adorable."

"I know," I told him, looking up to meet his sparkling Emerald eyes. "He's going to be a hunk when's he's older." We laughed and got into the car.

Edward started the car and backed out before speaking. "Would you be apposed to spending the day with me?" he asked with a sly smile.

"Of course not. What would you like to do?" I asked.

"Well, I have work tomorrow, so how about a relaxing day, and perhaps night, at my place?" he grinned over at me, making me lose my breath.

"Yeah, that sounds-" I was cut off by the ringing of my phone. "Excuse me," I told Edward before answering. "Hello?"

"Bella, darling."

"Hello Aro." I said, looking out the window.

"I wanted to let you know I've set up another art show for you. It's in two weeks, and I'm going to need at least ten paintings from you."

"Aro, that's a lot in such short notice." I pointed out, biting my thumbnail. I saw Edward look over at me for a second.

"I know, I know. But the gallery's going to be under construction for months at a time, and I wanted you to get out some new pieces before then. I know you'll be able to do it."

"I really just don't know how I'll be able to do that." I told him honestly.

"It's already set up. You have several pieces that didn't sell last time that we can add to your total amount. I just need you to get busy, as soon as possible." I couldn't really argue with him. We did have a contract.

"I'll do my best." I told him honestly.

"That's what I like to hear. I'll call you in a few days and see how you're fairing with it all. Goodbye and good luck." He hung up before I could say another word.

"What was that about?" Edward asked, stopping at another red light. We were hitting all of them this afternoon.

"Aro set me up another art show in two weeks." I told him, smiling slightly.

"Usually, people would be ecstatic about that, but you don't seem to be." He pointed out.

"He needs me to create ten new pieces before then. It'll be almost impossible for me to do that." I said, leaning my head back against the head rest. "I know we were going to hang out, but I need to get started. Could you drop me off at my apartment instead?"

"Why don't you bring you're stuff to my place, and we can still spend the day together."

"I don't know. I get pretty weird when I paint." I told him.

"Not a problem." He told me on a laugh. "And you can spend the night, if you'd like."

I smiled. "I think that'll be great."

"Marvelous." He turned in the direction of my place rather than his, coming inside to help me gather what I would need and some clothes for the next day.

"Are you sure about this Edward?" I asked before we left my place. "Painting is very messy. I don't want to ruin anything in your house."

"I actually have a basement that's refurnished for a painting studio." I stared up at him in shock. He shrugged with a smile before helping me cart everything out to his car. "I was interested in painting for a year or two in college, so my mom designed it and it's just been sitting there ever since," he answered my unasked question.

"And you're sure you don't mind?" he started the car and pulled out, on his way back to his place.

"Not in the least." Once we got to his house, Edward helped me load everything out and downstairs. The basement was enormous. It was freshly styled and there was an easel with a stack of large sized paper, a table used for pretty much anything, and a little stereo. That was good, since music helped me create. I had Edward put what he carried down here onto the little table. I turned around, stroking my hand on the moldings on the wall. It was all hand carved. The moldings were leaves, plants, things found in nature. They were gorgeous.

I heard Edward scoot closer to me before he wrapped his arms around my waist, laying his head down on my shoulder. He kissed my neck, causing me to shiver and warmth to spread throughout my body. "Like it?" He whispered against my earlobe, taking it into his moist mouth.

"Love it. Thank you for letting me use it."

"Your welcome." He blew his hot breath on my ear, causing me to clutch tighter to the arms encircling my waist.

"Edward, I really should get started…" I said unsteadily.

"Mmhh, how about a little break?" I laughed, instantly shutting up when his fingers drew up my shirt to trace patterns on my stomach.

"I haven't…even started. How could I break now?"

"Because I've needed you all day, and I don't think I can wait for later." He whispered huskily against my ear. I moaned softly, turning in his arms. "You're not going to make me wait, are you?"

I couldn't answer, just leaned up to place my mouth gently on his. He groaned and lifted me so I could wrap my legs around his waist. I was afraid when he started walking up the stairs to the kitchen that I would be too heavy for him to carry, especially up another set of stairs. I wiggled, trying to get down.

"No, stop. I've got you. Don't worry." He whispered, sucking my neck as he paused. When he started walking I took the time to explore his neck. I sucked on the exposed skin of his collarbone. As I neared up towards his mouth he moved faster up the stairs. Before I could even comprehend it, I was dumped in the middle of Edward's king size bed.

I stretched my hands above my head. Edward bent down to kiss the skin below my ear, causing me to arch up slightly. I moaned again when he trailed his fingers down my chest and to the hem of my shirt. He kissed me as he pulled it up, breaking the kiss when he had to pull it over my head. I pulled his own above his head, leaving him bare-chested with low riding jeans. I traced the muscles of his body, lightly grazing my nails over his nipples. He groaned, tilting his head down to suck on my chest through the fabric of my simple cotton bra. He pulled back an inch to blow his breath over the damp fabric. I cried out as moisture pooled in my panties. He grinned, kissing me quickly before unbuttoning my jeans, pulling them down and past my feet. I shivered when the air hit my body. Edward hovered over me, licking my nipple through the fabric to get me to arch my back so he could unclasp my bra. He pulled it from my body, going back to touch nothing but skin. Too soon I was a pile of mush beneath him.

"Pants…off." I told him. He sat up slowly and unbuttoned his own jeans, pulling those down. I helped him kick them off when they got to his ankles. I looked down, noticing the bulge in his boxers. I fisted him through the material, stroking gently. He groaned deeply, bending down to suckle my chest. I arched, stroking harder. As I increased the tempo, so did Edward, until we were both panting and withering. He released into my hand, messing up his boxers. I smiled and linked my hand with Edward when he pulled my hand away from him.

"Your turn." He winked at me, pulling my nipple into his mouth, sucking and pulling until it was a tight peak. Then he bit down, hard. I moaned roughly into the room, panting as I neared a release that wasn't coming. I groaned and thrashed my head from side to side. I wrapped Edward's bronze hair around my fingers, pulling roughly. He moaned, the vibrations tingling my sensitive peak.

"Please," I whimpered, massaging his head. He trailed farther down, kissing around my belly button, before kissing over my panties, directly where I needed a release. He kissed along my thighs, pulling my panties down around my legs. I kicked them off as Edward moved up, looking in my eyes. He quirked an eyebrow before slipping a single digit into my opening. I cried out, arching completely off the bed. My eyes closed as Edward moved his fingers, keeping me tensed and ready. I felt him move down before he removed his finger and blew hot breath over my opening. I tensed up farther, moving my hand. "Edward, don't." I whispered.

"What? Why?" he looked up but kept right above where he was going to go a second a go. He had a confused look on his face.

"It's just, um…I don't think…" I looked away, blushing and still on the edge.

"What is it love?" he moved up my body, brushing against my breasts and kissing the side of it.

"I've never had, that done before." I told him self consciously.

He gave me a crooked smile before kissing me so deeply, so passionately, that I forgot what I was worried about to begin with. I felt his fingertips slide up and down my wet folds, eliciting a mewling sound from my throat. "Just relax, and enjoy it." He moved faster than before, so he was down _there_ again before I could even have a thought of stopping him. Once his breath hit me, I couldn't think at all. He gave me one lick, testing me, before spreading me with his fingers and digging in. I moaned and moved my hips against his face. He threw an arm across my hips, holding me down. He brought me quickly to a climax, letting me go through it before leaning over to his bedside table. He opened a package and rolled on a condom before thrusting in quickly. I screamed, gripping to him tightly. This was pure heaven. We both came quickly and he pulled me onto his chest when he fell to my side. "That was…"

"I know." I told him, rolling over until I was straddling his body. "Thank you so much."

"Mmhh, thank you for staying with me today." He leaned up and gave me a kiss, running his tongue over my bottom lip. I felt him stir beneath me.

"Oh no," I said playfully. "I'm awakening a monster."

"One that only you can tame, my dear." He grinned cockily before rolling us over, so I was below him.


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

After our little, ahem escapades I told Edward that If I was going to have this art show I _had_ to get started. After much pouting he finally let me from under his sheets to go into his art studio that I never knew he had. I had to get inspiration for at least eight pictures I had two already done that wasn't sold at my last show. I decided to do a sketch of a few of my dreams. I pulled out my pencils and started with a woman who was very pregnant, you couldn't see her face but she held her stomach in between her hands behind her a man had his head on her shoulder with his arms laced with hers as they both felt the child stir within her. It was a simple enough drawing but all of the shading and shadowing made it look complicated.

"Well I have one, and it only took me a few hours" I said to myself and rolled my eyes. If I was going to get everything done I was going to have to do more sketches then paintings, it just took too long to do paintings. I then felt two warm hands entwine around to my middle and lips at my neck nipping and sucking. I moaned and craned my neck to the side to allow Edward better access.

"Edward, stop I need to do more sketches if I'm ever going to make my deadline" I sighed as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. Edward disconnected himself from my neck and smirked at me, with his green eyes sparkling in want.

"You've got one done it's time for another break." He snickered and picked me up, in the processes knocking down a blank canvas. I looked over to it alarmed; I was relieved to see that it wasn't broken. I looked at Edward trying to look scalding instead he smirked and attached himself to my lips. As I wanted to stay mad at him I just couldn't especially when his mouth was doing sinful things to mine. I could feel that Edward was ready for me and as much as I wanted to get a few more pieces of art finished I knew that I was going to give into Edward. Edward knew the moment I gave in and a smirk came to his lips. With me still in his arms he reached around me and he slipped off my robe the only article of clothing I had on revealing myself to him. He reached behind me and then before I could comprehend it literally painted my body with a blue.

"You didn't" I gasped and looked down and sure enough blue was covered over my breasts and torso. I wiggled out of Edward's grasp and reached for some green paint. When Edward saw what I was doing he gasped and his eyes went wide.

"Bella love, I'm sorry please don't" He asked and tried to look persuasive with his wide emerald eyes. I sighed and lowered the paint and he smirked, then without notice I splashed the paint onto him and he sucked in a deep breath as the semi-cold paint hit his almost bare body.

"Woops" I mumbled and dropped the paint canister and shrugged as Edward watched me with predatory eyes.

"Clumsy, clumsy me well you really should remove your boxers, you wouldn't want them to stain." I stated simply trying to be innocent, Edward smiled and nodded.

"I think your right I mean I simply _can't_ have paint stains on my boxers. That's so unprofessional" He mumbled as his fingers played around with the elastic of his boxers. I giggled and wrapped my fingers around his as I guided his boxers down his strong muscular legs. I knelt down and kissed the head of his exposed member and he hissed.

"Well I guess a few minute break won't kill me" I said and I flicked out my tongue and licked from his base to his tip. I heard Edward mumble 'Thank god' he then guided my shoulders down and quickly pushed into me and kissed me soundly on the lips.

"Oh and Bella this is going to last more than a few minutes" I giggled then moaned...

*********

After my break me and Edward were sitting down in his studio I was in his lap looking at my most recent painting. I sighed and craned my neck to the side and pursed my lips.

"Huh do you think other people will be able to tell that we had sex on that canvas to create that" I asked Edward as I pointed toward the canvas that had smears of blue green. If you looked really hard I guess you could see the outline and shape of my body but the blue was mostly covered with green.

"Mmm even if people can see the 'sex in a painting' I don't care it will just show that your mine and no one else's" Edward mumbled and I stood up from his lap even though he tried to pull me back. I decided I was going to put it in the show. I picked it up and hung it up to dry, I then filled a bucket with water and got a mop and started to clean the blue green mess that covered the wooden floor before it stained. Honestly we completely covered the canvas but messed the floors up pretty well...ah but it was so worth it. When I was done I decided a shower was a must. Edward tried to follow me in claiming that we should conserve water but I wasn't falling for it.

"Edward if you come in with me we'll end up wasting more water then conserving it" I said and patted his head as I slammed the door and locked it before he could attempt to just come right in. I jumped in and had to scrub my body just to get the paint off. After a while I did get the paint off...along with most of the outer layer of my skin. I wrapped a towel around me and walked out to Edward's bedroom. Edward smiled and kissed my lips as he walked past me and into the bathroom. I had just gotten finished getting dressed as my cell rang and Edward walked into the bedroom. I reached over and answered.

"Hello" I asked as I towel dried my hair.

"Ah sweet Isabella how nice it is to hear you, anyway I got to thinking and well a lot of people have seen your sketch work and paintings but not many have seen your sculpting skills so..." Aro said implying something. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"So you want me to do a few sculptures as well" I stated and I heard him chuckle.

"Ever so smart yes I think you can do it so anyway I hope to hear from you soon good-bye Isabella" Aro said too cheerfully ruining my good mood. Great sculptors were even harder to do especially with my eye for detail.

"Edward do you think we could stop by the art supply store? I have to do a few sculptures" I sighed and rolled my eyes as he nodded.

"What's wrong with that" He asked and I shrugged as I grabbed my purse and we walked down the stairs and out the front door.

"Nothing I guess it's just doing sculptors are going to take really long for me to do because I have such an eye for detail" I mumbled as we climbed into Edward's Silver Volvo. Edward nodded understanding; we drove and stopped at the store that I told Edward about. I asked him to stay in the car I wouldn't be long he nodded and I walked in quickly and bought some modeling clay and ran back to the car. We made it back to Edward's place in no time, now all I had to do was find something to do my model after. I walked outside and saw the perfect thing. In the woods was a female deer with a baby by her side the baby head its head up and both the mother and baby had their noses touching. I suddenly felt two warm hands snake around my waist.

"It's sights like that, that make me glade I moved down here, you can see a mother's love everywhere" Edward said in a whisper as not to disturb the two. I nodded in agreement and walked into the house and set up the clay. I cut away the large chunks that I knew I would have no need for and placed then back into an airtight container so it would still stay moist if I ended up needing it. I started to shape the neck and bend it down. The mother had her ears flat against her head so those were easy enough to do. After a few hours I started on the facial features. I used me nails to carve out the eyes and add specific details when needed. I heard Edward walk down to the basement but for the most part I ignored him.

"Bella, come on now you've been working for a while now please come up and eat something" Edward tried to coax gently but I still ignored him. When I was done with the doe's head I started cutting out chunks from her body and used the extra clay for the baby but I would start on him later. after I had a good part cut out I started shaping her legs. I knew it was getting especially late when I felt Edward's hand on mine pushing them away from there work.

"Bella it's coming out really well but it's time for you to take a break, please you need to sleep and eat something" I looked into Edward's worried emrald eyes and nodded feeling a little peckish. I washed my hands in a small basin and followed Edward upstairs and we both grabbed a sandwitch. When we were done I was starting back down to the basement Edward's arm went around my waist and hulled me up to his room.

"What the hell Edward, I need to finish" I objected but Edward shook his head no.

"Bella please it's almost two in the morning I know you must be tired, lets just go to sleep then you can work on it tomorrow" Edward reasoned and I sighed but nodded. I cuddled up to Edward and tried to fall asleep. Truly I did but knowing I had an unfinished piece of work and a dead line I had to meet my mind was just not letting me rest. I knew by now Edward was passed out so I moved his arm from around my waist and got up with a quite yawn. I was able to get back to my work. By the time I heard Edward trampling down the basement steps I had the doe's body done and was currently starting on the baby deer.

"Isabella what the hell do you think your doing" Edward glared at me but I was too tired to care.

"Working" I grunted started the the baby deer's head, its ears were laying flat on it's head as well. Edward huffed and walked over to me and forcefully grabbed me away.

"Damnnit Bella it's five in the morning have you slept at all" Edward asked and I shok my head no.

"No, but Edward I have less then two weeks to finish at least five more paintings. I have two from my other show that I'm going to be trying to sell then I have my sketch, then our -ahem- painting then this. Edward art is everything to me and I have to deliver this art show if not then I can pretty well much kiss my carear good-bye and I've worked to god damn hard to let that happen" I started off calmly but in the end was yelling at Edward. He closed his eyes and gathered me in a hug.

"But is it really so much more important then your heath" He asked and I sniffed.

"No but Edward you have to understand I've stayed up late working on projects many times, it's true this time I'm under much more stress to get done but I'm going to catch up on my sleep when I can" I said smoothly trying to appease Edward but it didn't work.

"I don't care, now I'm going to take you up to my room and stay with you until you get a good amount of sleep, then you can continue" I huffed and stomped up the steps pissed that Edward would treat me like a little girl. None the less though Edward stayed true to his word and stayed with me until I felt my eyelids drooping.

"good night" was the last thing I heard I drifted off to sleep.


	18. Chapter 17

**_Sorry we haven't updated in a while I was grounded for the most stupid thing it's crazy, anyway here's chapter_ 17._ We have up to chapter 26 done and yes there is Jacob bashing so to get to that part you need to update -hint, hint-_**

**Chapter 17**

I awoke to butterfly kisses. I groaned quietly, hearing Edward chuckle above me. I blinked open my eyes, straining to see Edward in the darkness. The curtains were drawn and the lights in the room were off. I had no idea what time it could be. "Mhh, time?" I asked, stretching my hands above my head, arching my back as I slowly came awake. Edward's hands traveled up my sides, twining with my fingers as he held them above my head. He nuzzled into my neck, kissing it softly, earning a whimper from my throat.

"Two fifty-two." He told me in a whisper, kissing the other side of my neck. My eyes widened and I struggled to sit upright in bed. He kept me pinned with his body. "Calm down." He said sternly.

"Edward, it's almost three o'clock! I've wasted the whole day sleeping!"

"You needed it, so it wasn't a waste." He grinned down at me cockily.

"But, I need to finish the deer, and a few more sculptures, not to mention how many more paintings I need to have done soon!" I pulled against his hands but he held them tight. "Edward!"

"Bella!" He mocked childishly. Suddenly he was all serious. "Isabella…would you like to try something, new?" he asked, staring me straight in the eye. I saw a gleam of lust in them, more than likely matching my own.

"Like?" I asked, twisted my wrists in his hands.

"Do you trust me completely?" He asked, looking away before locking eyes with me.

"Yes."

He smiled gallantly, kissing me deeply before mumbling against my mouth. "Then let me dominate you." I broke the kiss and stared at him, eyes wide in lustful shock. No way! Did that sentence really just come out of my sweet Edward's mouth? The smirk prominent on his face, and his erection poking me down below told me that what he said was indeed not just my naughty imagination coming out to play. "Bella?" He asked, concerned.

"You want to…really?" I asked, still not being able to get over it.

"Let me dominate you. Will you Isabella?" He asked me, smoldering me with his glowing green eyes. I was incapable of speech, shaking my head yes to signal that it was okay with me. "Answer me, out loud." His voice had dropped into a more commanding tone. I shivered, a tingling began south of my belly button, making me involuntarily moan.

"Yes." I told him again, getting slightly breathless.

"Oh Bella, we've just started and already your pulse is racing." He kissed the pulse point in my neck, pulling tighter on my arms so my clothed chest rubbed against his. This time he was the one who groaned. I smiled, kissing the side of Edward's neck. "Nuh uh." He told me, giving me a glance before standing up, coming back before I had a chance to even sit up completely. He quickly pulled the shirt I was wearing over my head, groaning when he saw I wasn't wearing a bra. He leaned down and licked a straining nipple, causing me to arch back and throw my hands up to his hair. He grabbed them, pushing me back down until I laid flat against the comforter. I felt something soft in his hands, but before I could focus on it he called my attention back to himself. "Bella, if at any time you are uncomfortable, or want to stop, just let me know. Yellow will let me know to slow down, or do something else because you don't like it. Red will end everything. Do you understand?" I nodded, but when his eyes turned hard I quickly squeaked out a yes, causing him to grin approvingly.

He bent his head, kissing my neck, moving up to the corner of my mouth. I got lost in the kiss, not noticing that he had brought ties over, binding me to the headboard. I tugged before moaning into his mouth, realizing that I was completely at his mercy. He pulled back, but not before he continued to tease me by licking my bottom lip, biting it gently. He trailed his hands down my side, tickling me. I was too turned on to even think about laughing. His hands brushed the waistband of my pajama pants, tugging the top so he could slip his fingers inside, brushing over the sensitive skin right about my panty line. I wiggled my hips, exhaling angrily when he moved back up my body to play with my breasts. He flicked one nipple with the pad of his thumb, working it to a hard and aching point. The other was sucked into his warm, moist mouth, causing me to buck up as he bit down, hard. My lower bits tingled in a frenzy. I squeezed my legs together, trying to get some friction. Edward pulled back, tsking me.

"I don't think so," he told me, pulling my legs apart to settle between them. I huffed, but that quickly turned into a moan when he brushed his hand between my legs, right over my heat. I bucked again. "Bella, be still or I'm going to stop." He threatened in a dark voice. It only caused me to throb more so for him to hurry this along. Foreplay was great, but I was dying here.

"Please Edward?" I asked, pulling against my restraints. He smiled devilishly, but instead of getting right to it, quickly, he slowly pulled down my pants, throwing them to the floor. So I was now almost completely naked while Edward still had on his boxers and pajama pants. He had worn cotton ones the night before, and a different pair were now low on his hips, supporting his own, _big_, problem. It was quite visibly from my viewpoint. I smirked, glad he couldn't see it, since he was busy ridding me of my last garment. As soon as it was gone he bent over my chest, nibbling on my breast as he stroked right above where I wanted him to be. "Edward," I tried to make my voice sound threatening, but it was breathy and held no authority. He slipped a single finger inside my wet heat, and before I could get even think it through I thrust against his hand, aiming for him to go deeper. He growled, slowing the movement.

"I warned you Bella." I was afraid he was actually going to stop and leave me here like this, but the look in his eyes told me otherwise. "Do not cum until I tell you to." And with that he thrust in two fingers. I screamed, arching my back for all I was worth. I tugged at my restraints as his fingers moved deep within me, pulling out to trace my throbbing nub before dipping back in, spreading my juices. I was so close. "Mmhh, you smell heavenly. Let's see how you taste." I tried to scoot away from him. We did it once, but I wasn't sure how much pleasure Edward got from it. It was pretty disgusting after all, but he pulled me back by my hips, making my arms scream out in protest, before he dug in.

I screamed, ricocheting off the bed before being tugged down by the ties around my wrists. It should be illegal for something to feel this good. I was on the brink, and I knew Edward could tell as he slowed his pace, making me groan out when his two digits became three. He removed his mouth from my most intimate place before he spoke. "Not until I tell you," he reminded me, thrusting three fingers in slowly, working me into yet another frenzy. I clenched around him, trying hard to prolong the feeling and not disobey him. After a few more passes sweat beaded my body. Edward bent down and licked at my collarbone, causing me to gasp in pleasure. I was about to combust and take whatever punishment he would give me afterwards, when he said the three most glorious words. "Come for me. " I screamed, my body coming at his command. He groaned as I tightened around his fingers, pulling him in deeper.

He blew on my clit, causing me to moan, as little aftershocks rocked through my body. He kissed his way up my body, coming to rest right above my mouth. "Fucking perfection." He told me, tracing my lips with his wet tongue.

I moaned, and before he knew it I had his tongue lodged in my mouth. I felt his hard cock stir against me, exciting me again. I pulled back to nibble on his earlobe. "Please Edward?" I asked, knowing he would understand what I wanted. And incase he hadn't a clue I looked down to his still clothed dick, licking my lips. He moaned and nodded, untying me quickly, pulling me up before sliding underneath me. He set me up so I could straddle him, rubbing my arms to release any pain the ties had caused me. I kissed him deeply, splaying my hands on his naked chest before trailing them downwards, slowing when I heard him moan. He began rubbing the sensitive underside of my breasts, urging me on. I crawled backwards, getting lower before I began to trace around his belly button with my tongue, keeping my eyes locked on his happy trail. He moaned again, fisting his hands in my hair, tugging gently.

"Faster." He commanded me. I shivered as wetness seeped from between my legs, slowing dripping onto his thighs. He let out a guttural groan, bucking up towards me. I moved down, pulling his boxers and pajamas off together. I finally got my first glimpse today of Edward's beautiful cock. I stroked the slit at the top gently, collecting the precum before rubbing up and down his shaft gently. I blew on the head, watching it jump slightly. I looked up at Edward. He knew what I wanted. "Now." He demanded. I groaned, getting wetter as I sucked him into my mouth. He cried out as I scraped my teeth along his length. He didn't stop me, so I assumed he enjoyed it. He hand his hands tightly wrapped around my hair, urging me faster, harder, until he finally exploded into my mouth. I made sure to swallow it all so there wouldn't be a mess to clean up. I pulled back when he softened, letting it fall back in place. I sat on my knees, gave Edward a cocky smile and stretched before I got up to leave.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" He cried outrageously. I grinned back at him, watching his stunned face.

"I need to take a shower so I can go paint. Remember, I have a job that I have to do every day now until my art show."

"I don't care. We aren't finished." He was up from the bed by this time. I shrieked when he stalked towards me, trying to run into the bathroom to hide. I almost made it. He wrapped one arm around my waist, hauling me onto the bed. He nestled into between my legs, pinning my hands up on either side of my head before bending down to lightly kiss my mouth. He traced his tongue along my top lip, but when I opened my mouth for him he pulled back, only kissing me again when I closed them. I groaned in frustration, trying to close my legs and get some much needed friction. I was ready again. He inhaled deeply, pulling away form my mouth and sitting on his heels. My hands were still locked in his. "I can smell you, my dear."

"Why don't you hurry up and do something about it?" I challenged.

"Not yet." He wormed one hand down my body, stroking my clit with his thumb, causing me to wither below him.

"Please." I whimpered, closing my eyes. I was so close. He slowed his pace. Causing me to cry out in fury.

"Not yet." He repeated, touching his index finger to my folds before pulling back. He let go of both my hands, placing his own on my hips. Mine immediately wound in his thick auburn hair.

"Now?" He gave me a cocky grin before plunging into me, causing me to scream in pleasure.

"Now." I lost my ever-loving mind right at that moment. I couldn't remember a thing. Not my name, not the year. All I could even hope to think about was the man right above me, pounding into me like his life depended on it. I could barely breathe. I was close, and I could tell he was to. I raised my hips, causing him to slide in deeper within my folds. "Mmhh, Shit. Bella, you on the pill?" he asked, trying to slow down but to no avail.

"Yes, yes, yes!" I cried, crashing full force into the best freaking climax of my life. I felt him release into me, and I shivered at the sensation. He pushed inwards a few more times, riding out his high while I tried to control my breathing. When he finished, and before he could get hard again he pulled out of me, lugging me across his chest. He looked so sated and content and I couldn't help to think that I had put that smile on his face. No doubt mine matched his. He kissed me soundly on the lips. "Edward, my work," I told him sleepily.

"Later." He whispered, holding me tighter. Pretty soon I could feel his deep breathing, indicating that he was sound asleep. I continued to lie across Edward's chest, thinking about what had just happened. I had never experienced sex quite like that, and it was mind-blowing. I thought back to everything he said, tensing above him when I came to a particular thing. Edward was too far asleep to notice me, so I sat up, sitting farther on my side of his bed. I had lied to him. Well, I hadn't actually done it on purpose. It was more of the fact that I was too far gone in the moment to realize that the chanting of my release could have been interpreted as answering his question. I wasn't on the pill, and there was absolutely no condom involved. Shit. I couldn't even remember if this was the first time or not that we hadn't used a condom.

I got out of bed as quietly as I could, trying my best not to disturb Edward. I walked into the bathroom, practically ran. I locked the door and started the water for a shower. What had we done? I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was flushed and sweaty, but up until two minutes ago, I had been ecstatic. Now I was worried. Would I get pregnant? Could I even, after what had happened? I stifled a sob and walked into the shower. What was I going to do if I was? What would Edward do if I lost another child? I washed with Edward's body wash before quickly washing my hair. I stepped out and wrapped a warm towel around my body. I wiped the fog away from the mirror. What in the world was I going to do?

Getting dressed quickly in a big old ratty tee-shirt I had brought along, I slipped on a pair of stretchy shorts and quickly made my way down to the art studio. I tried not to think as I finished the baby deer, setting the finished piece off to the side so it could dry. I took out some more of the clay I had from the Tupperware and began a new, smaller, piece. I had finished the deer in an hour and a half, so I didn't think the new piece I started would take me as long. I had the music going and my hands were moving over the clay fast enough to keep me concentrating. I was too preoccupied to think about what had just happened, what could in the future happen between me and Edward.

I finally noticed I was crying silently when I saw a few teardrops land on the dust the other sculpture had left. I put a few more finishing touches on the new piece I was working on, smiling slightly when it was finished. It was a small cradle, a baby's cradle. There was a little piece of clay that hung from the top of the cradle, dangling a star, crescent moon and tiny sun, right above where the baby would sleep, if the sculpture had been life size. The cradle wasn't as big as the deer, but it did have to be carried with two hands. I set that over near the mother and baby, finished with them both. It was almost five, and Edward probably still wasn't awake. I didn't want him to see me so soon after what we had done, and I didn't want to have to tell him that there was a chance that I could be pregnant once again, so I called Alice to come get me. She didn't ask questions, and I hoped it would stay that way, but I knew as soon as I was in her car she would bombard me. I didn't want to tell anyone until I knew for sure. It was too soon after I had told Alice and Rose I wanted Edward and I to try. If they all knew, they would never think it was an accident. I had already decided I wanted to wait. Edward may not even want a child right now.

I packed up a few of my art supplies, but left my sculptures here. Hopefully, if Edward still wanted me when he woke up, I would be able to come back and get them. Hopefully this won't ruin everything Edward and I have worked for. I couldn't lose him again so soon. I wasn't sure if I could make it this time around.

I left a note for Edward, letting him know I was going back to my apartment. I kept the clothes I was wearing on, since I was just going to get right down to work when I got back home, walked out the front door and locked it behind me once Alice was in sight. I said goodbye to Edward silently, praying to any God that would listen, that this would not be the last time I saw him, and walked towards Alice , wondering if I was going to have to be alone in this after all.

I ignored Alice the whole way home, or rather I dodged her questions as best as I could. I didn't want to tell her anything until I was positive. It would take me a week to know if I was going to be pregnant. I'd take a test then and know for sure if I was going to be a parent. That is, if I didn't end up killing the child once again. I shuddered and unlocked my door, waving goodbye to Alice . I hadn't asked her in, knowing I wouldn't be able to keep silent if she stared at me like that for long. She waved sadly, mouthing for me to call her. I nodded and closed the door tightly behind me, closing my eyes and sinking to the floor. What in the world was I going to do about all of this?

I swiped at the few tears that managed to leak from my eyes and stood up, locking the door behind me. I was going to work. That would help get my mind off of everything. I grabbed what I would need, grabbed a pair of headphones and my boom box, and carted them all outside to my balcony. I was going to paint the sunset, since it was setting earlier than normal today. It was almost six thirty, but already the red-orange haze was covering the sky. A few purples were in there as well. I turned my music on loud enough to hurt my ears, grabbed a pencil to draw an outline, faced the open sky, and began. I set to work keeping my mind busy so I wouldn't have time to think about a mistake I may, or may not, have made.

***

I had finished the painting of the sunset by the time night had fallen. The stars came out, one by one. There was almost a new moon, just another night or two and it would be gone. I sat with my knees curled up to my chest, my head resting against them as I kept the earbuds in, playing the music from a CD I had made a long time ago. It was mostly soft, sad songs. And right now I was listening to Jimmy Eat World,_ Hear you Me._ Or to me, _May Angels Lead You In_.

**And if you were with me tonight,**

**I'd sing to you just one more time.**

**A song for a heart so big,**

**God couldn't let it live. **

I started crying, remembering my first lost child. I didn't want to lose another. I shouldn't have to! I never did anything wrong. I never did anything that would grant me this much pain and suffering. I shouldn't have had to go through this so soon after my first pregnancy. Why couldn't I have paid more attention to what Edward was saying? Why didn't I insist on using a condom anyway? Why was I already worrying about something I didn't know for sure? I sniffed, turning my head into my knees, closing my eyes against them. "It isn't fair." I whispered out loud. "Life isn't fair."

I looked up, out over my balcony. I could end it all. One jump and it'd all be over. Edward wouldn't have to worry about hurting me when he told me he didn't want a child, or when I lost his baby. He wouldn't have to dump me, cheat on me, or get another girl pregnant. He would be free to do what he wanted, because he wouldn't be burdened with all this guilt. The guilt of getting me pregnant when I probably couldn't successfully have a baby anyway. I couldn't stand another miscarriage. I stood up, walking to the edge of the balcony. The headphones didn't reach, so I unhooked them, letting the sound of Nickelback's _Far Away _sing throughout the night air.

**I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go, **

**Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore.**

**On my knees, I'll ask, **

**Last chance for one last dance.**

**Cause with you, I'd withstand**

**All of hell to hold your hand.**

**I'd give it all; I'd give for us,**

**Give anything but I won't give up,**

**Cause you know, you know, you know…**

"I love you." I spun around, finding Edward behind me. I gasped, clutching a hand to my mouth. In his hands were a dozen or so pink tipped yellow roses.

"Oh, Edward," I barely whispered. I hadn't moved from my spot by the balcony, but my previous thoughts were long gone.

"Why'd you leave?" He whispered, walking towards me slowly. Tears brimmed my eyes. I closed them, letting the liquid spill over. My shoulders shook, so I wrapped my arms around myself, turning back to face the night sky. I heard Edward walk towards me, stop, then start back up again. He stood behind me, moved my hair to the side, and kissed my neck gently before wrapping his arms around my waist. He would never understand how happy I was he had done that, kept me safe from harm, away from the edge, so I wouldn't do anything reckless.

"I, I just couldn't stay." I whispered, listening to the music pulse around us. Edward had turned it down, but not enough that anyone eavesdropping would be able to hear us. Edward slowly maneuvered me around in his arms. The roses were lying across my chair. I looked down to the floor, avoiding Edward's expressive eyes. He tilted my head up by placing a single finger under my chin. Keeping my eyes closed, letting the tears fall, I faced him. Waiting for him to say something.

Instead of saying anything he tilted his own head, his lips made contact with my own, causing me to shiver against him, the tears came faster. He pulled back, and I finally opened my eyes. His were so sad, pained, reflecting my own. "What happened?" I didn't answer. I didn't want to worry him incase I was wrong. Incase there was nothing to worry about. "It was this afternoon, wasn't it?" he asked, hurt in his voice. My eyes widened. "Damn, Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to push you. You should have told me if you didn't want to do that. I'm so, so sorry." I couldn't find it in me to smile, but I could make sure he didn't feel this way.

"No, Edward, I loved that." I gave him a weak smile, trying to turn back to the open view. He wouldn't let me. He continued to stare at me. "You'd didn't push me," I reassured. "I would have done it, even if you had just spoken about it in passing. I loved it." I repeated, before turning silent once more.

"If it wasn't that, what happened? What made you leave?" he asked. I looked him in the eye before dropping my gaze. He didn't force my face back up. "Bella, please. I need to know if something's bothering you." I shook my head, letting him know I couldn't answer him. "Please." He pleaded. "Let me help you." I broke from his hold, backing to the edge of my patio.

"It's nothing." I whispered. Even I could hear the pain in my voice. I knew he was going to tell me off about it, or do something to make me tell him, but I couldn't. I didn't know. I wouldn't know for days. I was not going to have him leave me when I wasn't even sure. "Please," I crossed my arms across my chest, leaning against the rails, "Just, stay with me?" I couldn't stop the tears as I waited for his rejection, but he simply pulled me to a lounge chair before setting me in his lap, tucking my head under his chin before he began to rub my back soothingly.

"Always, my Bella. Always."

But would always been a lot sooner than I imagined? I thought. I couldn't do this. I couldn't make him wait. I needed him to know now, incase he wanted out.

"Edward, I made a mistake." I told him, turning in his arms to look out over the horizon. More stars littered the sky.

"Tell me."

He didn't make me face him just yet. "I, I lied to you. But it was an accident." I said in a pained voice. This time, he did turn me around.

Locking eyes with me, he spoke. "What did you lie about love?" he asked, fearing the worst.

I closed my eyes, collecting my thoughts before opening them once more. "Edward, I'm not on the pill. I wasn't on the pill when you asked." His eyes widened, but to his credit he didn't release me, or start pitching a fit.

"Bella, I didn't use a condom." He told me, his whispering was so very quiet.

I glanced away. "I know."

"Don't turn away from me, not now. Please. I need to see your face." I complied, turning towards him once more. "When will you know?"

"A few days, probably sooner. I was thinking about it. I don't think we used protection, every time." He nodded sadly. I began squirming on his lap. "Edward, I don't know if I can get pregnant, let alone if this child will survive. It could die like the last one! I-"

"Sshh, my love, be still." He brushed his lips lightly across my forehead. "We will wait until we can find out for sure. I'll be with you, no matter what."

"But I might not be able to ever give you children." I told him, staring into his eyes.

"I would much rather have you with no children, than any other woman who could give me five. I don't need children, as long as I have you." And then he kissed me.


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

We stayed on the balcony for a little bit longer just whispering our love to each other as I started to feel tired. I yawned and wrapped my arms around Edward as he stood and walked us to my room. He opened my door and placed me on my cot and got in next to me.

"Can I stay?" He whispered in my ear and my eyes opened as I thought about him leaving now.

"Please?" I asked and wrapped my arms around him to hold him to me tighter than I ever have before. He nodded and snuggled with me without even taking his clothes off. I felt myself giving into unconsciousness. I was so emotionally drained that it was probably going to be a struggle to even want to wake up in the morning. Then I heard something that changed my mind, and I knew I was going to be up as soon as I could be.

"Sleep Bella. I'll be here, I promise. I'm not leaving." With that said I fell asleep with a smile on my face. It was late, I could tell because of how cool it still was, when I felt the comforter being slipped down my body and my shirt being rolled up right under my breasts. Then I felt velvet lips on my abdomen. I wasn't sure if I was awake or not but it didn't matter. I was going to enjoy it.

"Hello there, I don't know if I'm just talking to my loves stomach like an idiot. Or to my baby." I heard Edward whisper as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I stayed still, unable to move. I listened as he continued.

"If you are in there, I just want you to know that I will love you with everything I am, no matter how long we are blessed with you. I want to ask you something though. Please stay safe and healthy. Not so much for me but for your mommy. She's been through a lot of hurt and you would mean everything to her." He whispered and I stirred, now knowing this wasn't just a dream. I felt Edward chuckle as I looked down at him.

"Please tell me you didn't hear me?" he pleaded as I giggled and nodded. He sighed and buried his face into my side. I sighed.

"Edward you really shouldn't act like I'm carrying a baby. I may not be pregnant and even if I am I have a larger chance of losing the baby then another woman." I whispered to him as a tear fell. He wiped it away, shushing me gently.

"I know Bella, I know, but I want you to know something and please believe it. If you are pregnant and something happens I will not leave you. I love you and I will always love you." I smiled and snuggled into Edward as I drifted back to sleep.

****

I woke this time and I could tell that it was at least in the morning by the difference in lighting. I looked over and saw Edward slipping on his shoe's as he turned to face me. His face instantly lit up when he saw I was awake. He smiled a soft smile and kissed my lips.

"Good morning love. I have to go into work for a little while. There's a flu epidemic and I have to give some children their shot's." Edward said as he nestled into me. I smiled and nodded.

"That's fine I was going to get a few art supplies and try and work on a few more paintings." I told him and he kissed me on the lips again, taking my bottom lip in between his.

"Edward you should get going now." I said a bit breathless as he released me. He smirked and nodded before walking out of my flat. I got up and walked to my closet and picked out some blue sweats. I grabbed my keys and started walking to the art store. Once I got there I got a few more canvases and some paint and more clay, paid and bid Mr. Meyers a good-bye as I walked out. As I was walking home I decided to stop at the park.

I went over to the swings and put my bag next to a pole where I could easily spot it and sat down. I breathed in deeply and started twisting the swing around, letting it snap back as I unwound and just let myself go. I remembered a time when I was young and I would do this. I yearned for a time when I was young and carefree, with no worries. I then realized someone had sat down next to me and was watching me. I looked over and saw a rather familiar face causing me to smile.

"Hi Abby." I said to the small girl and she smiled back at me and started swinging.

"Hello Bella how have you been?" she asked. I shrugged in response; I couldn't help but be envious of her innocence.

"I've been better how about yourself?" I asked and the little girl smiled and gave me the largest smile I have ever seen on a child.

"I'm moving. Bella I'm going home!" she said so excited I couldn't help but laugh with her as she twirled.

"I'm happy for you Abby, I'm going to miss seeing you though." I told her honestly, she always seemed to put a smile on my face.

"Don't worry we'll be seeing each other more often then you think!" She told me with a giggle and before I could question her she laughed as she ran, I suppose to her current home. I chuckled at her antics and grabbed my bag so I could start walking to my own home. On my way I stopped by a pharmacy and picked out a First Response pregnancy test. I paid and left. I arrived home and put the test in my bathroom cabinet. I had decided to take it a week from now, so that if our mind blowing sex did result in a pregnancy then at least hopefully the hormones would be detectable.

I placed a canvas on my easel and covered the entire canvas with black, and then with it still being wet I added a yellow figure holding their hands high in the air. I then added an orange glow around the person. I kept it simple, not quite myself, not having it quite in me to add details. I then heard three quick knocks before my door opened. I was happy to have Edward back with me but I was still so nervous. He gave me a small smile and kissed my lips and wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"Bella how would you like to go out tonight, on a date with me?" Edward asked and looked at me. I kissed his cheek and nodded, usually having Edward around me always seamed to brighten my mood, and even though I was happy to have him with me I still just wasn't feeling myself.

"What's wrong love?" Edward asked as he pulled a chair up and grabbed my small hands in his.

"It's nothing really. I'm just… I guess I'm scared." I said gloomily. Edward gave me a pleading look and gathered me in his arms as a tear fell from my eye.

"Of what Bella?" Edward whispered and I looked up at him.

"Edward if I'm pregnant I'm just so terrified that'll I'll disappoint you, that the pregnancy could go wrong and then I'm completely alone...again. I couldn't handle that again Edward I just couldn't." I said and buried my face into his shoulder. Edward rubbed my back reassuringly.

"Bella if you _are_ with child then I promise I could never be disappointed in you. Bella I'm a doctor for children but I wanted to study maternity so I did. Creating a life takes a lot out of a woman, you caught an infection your last pregnancy and the child simply couldn't develop. What happened wasn't your fault. It. Just. Happened. Bella I promise I won't leave you, no matter what, through thick and thin I'm going to be here for you." Edward said and for the first time I believed him. I finally felt at peace about my last pregnancy, I smiled and hugged him closer to me.

"Thank you Edward." I whispered. The days flowed by steadily and soon enough I was finished with all the art work that I needed. Me and Edward were currently at his house packing his car with my art.

"Are you sure you don't mind the sculptures being in here?" I asked. Edward chuckled and shook his head.

"No Bella the car can be cleaned out. I don't mind now get in here and let's go." I nodded and got into the car. I sighed and played with my hands.

"Edward?" I whispered, he looked at me nervously.

"When we get back...I'm going to take the test." I told him. He heaved a breath and nodded while taking a quick look at me. He then grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles.

"No matter what Bella I'm here." he said and I nodded. We made it to where my art show was being held and started unloading the art. After getting everything set up the doors opened and people poured in. I smiled and made small talk, I laughed when appropriate but all through the night I would sneak glances at Edward who would give me a reassuring smile and nod and I would go back to what was doing. The night came and went much faster then I would have liked. Surprisingly though all of my art work was sold and Aro said that the money I made would be transferred to my account in the morning. I thanked him and me and Edward drove to my flat.

I walked in and walked right to the bathroom. I had been holding my pee in ever since we got the show room. I wanted to hold it incase I didn't have to go for the rest of the night, knowing my luck that's what would have happened. I ripped the test from the back and peed on it real quickly. As I finished up I put the test on the counter and washed my hands. I walked out to my room and sat on my cot next to Edward.

"How long?" He asked as he grabbed my hand.

"Three minutes." I murmured back. He nodded and I squeezed his hand tightly. Three minutes later, well actually it felt more like three hours, I went to the bathroom and checked the test. I smiled and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and threw the test out.

"So?" Edward asked and I squealed as I jumped into his arms and gave him a kiss.

"Negative." I whispered and he looked over to me and smiled.

"Thank god. As much as I would have loved the thought of you being pregnant, I'm kind of glad your not." He then leaned his mouth to my ear and whispered, "Because that means we can have all the rough sex we want and I don't have to worry about hurting a baby." I blushed and turned around to straddle his waist as I took off his shirt as I kissed him passionately.

"I like the sound of that." I mumbled and laughed as Edward took off my shirt and trailed his fingers along my sides, tickling me. He then attached his lips to my cloth covered nipple, I moaned and arched my back as I fisted his hair in my fingers and pushed his head farther into me.

"Oh god." I yelled. Edward smirked and reached around me to take off my bra. I had had enough. I couldn't take anymore foreplay. "I swear Edward if you don't get you dick in me right now I'm going to explode."

Edward smirked and slid down his pants and boxers as I slid down my skirt and panties. I then went through my purse and pulled out my condom so I could hand it to Edward. He took it and ripped off the foil and placed it on his length. He then picked me up and slid into me. We both moaned and I started moving my hips to connect with his. He stumbled over to my wall and slammed me against it and started thrusting. I hugged his body closer to my own and bit his neck as he pounded into me.

"Oh god Edward I'm not going to last." I said as I felt my orgasm overtake me. Edward gave several more thrusts before releasing himself into the condom. I slumped against him as he walked us to my cot, he removed the condom and threw it in the trash. He laid down next to me and we spooned, both of us exhausted and relieved.

"I love you Edward." I murmured to him as I fell asleep.

"I love you too" He whispered back to me, resting his hand over my childless stomach.


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 **

**Big thumbs up to livesmom for picking up the hints and clues through out this story! Others have gotten close but, just missed a few things here and there. Anyway this chapter should clear EVERYTHING up and if it doesn't then PM me and i'll clear it up as long as it doesn't get answered somewhere else in the other chapters. Ok please review thanks!**

A few days after Edward and I learned I wasn't pregnant, I got a flu bug. I was sniffley, nauseous, achy and just plain miserable. Edward had to work today, the fourth day I ended up being sick, and he felt awful about it. I was glad the art show was out of the way and Aro hadn't called to schedule anything else. I was too _blech _to do anything. Edward had wanted me to move over to his house for a few days so he could take care of me, but I knew I'd feel better at my flat so I declined.

In the course of the week or so since we had had that one scene of mind-boggling sex, Edward and I had only been together physically a few times. I got sick too soon after it seemed, and I wouldn't let him near me, not that he pushed. He was a doctor after all, and knew the flu was contagious. That didn't stop him from kissing me though. Every chance he got. Each time it was hotter than the last. I was so frustrated that I was thinking the second I got over this bug I was going to ride him like Zorro.

I was currently leaning against the toilet, calming down after my last little exertion, and talking to Alice and Rose on three way. Alice hadn't brought up that night I called her to come get me, and neither did Rosalie. I had to assume she either didn't know, or was sworn to secrecy not to say a word by Alice. I could hear Ethan Nathanial cooing in the background, and it was the only reason I had to smile at this point. "Give him a kiss for me." I told Rose weakly. I heard a smacking sound and knew she had done as I had asked.

"Bella, you sound terrible." Alice sad sadly. "Have you gone to the doctor yet?"

"No Alice." I groaned as a wave of sickness rushed over me. I held it back, not wanting to vomit again. "It's just a bug. The flu's in full force, especially with the little ones." I leaned my head back against the edge of my tub. "I can't believe I'm missing seeing you guys and Ethan. I can't wait till I get over this." I wanted to spoil him rotten. But more than anything I didn't want to hurt him, so I couldn't go near him until I was one hundred percent better.

"We miss you honey." Rose said. "I wish you would go get checked out at least. It's not getting any better?"

"Not any worse." I assured them. I got off the topic of my sickness and started asking about Jasper and Emmett. I hadn't seen them since God knows when, and I missed all my friends terribly. They were both doing great. Bonding over little Ethan. Emmett was already trying to teach him to hold a football. I could hear the excitement and love in Rose's voice when she talked of her husband and baby boy. I couldn't take it anymore. I told them I needed to go, and I would call them back when I could. I clicked the phone off and slumped against the cold tile. It was soothing my heated flesh. I heard the lock jiggle and knew it was Edward.

"Bella?" He called out from the front room.

"Here." I called weakly. I tried to hold it, but it came out and I was once more hunched over the toilet. Edward was behind me instantly, holding back any lose hair from the ponytail holder and rubbing my back gently. I hated being sick.

"Bella, this has been going on for too long. I've made an appointment with my Dad, and we need to be there in an hour. He's going to check you over and make sure nothing's too wrong."

"Edward, there's no need. It's just the flu." I tried to write it off. He gave me a steely look, causing me to look down. "Fine," I caved.

"Thank you. I'm really worried for you. Why don't you hop in the shower and I'll go pick out some clothes for you." He helped me stand up and turned the shower on for me before kissing my head and leaving me in search of clothes. I sighed, stripped and climbed into the shower. The water felt perfect against my sticky and clammy skin. I washed my body slowly, moving slowly once I got to washing my hair. I heard Edward knock on the open door before he spoke. "I've brought you an outfit, I'll leave it on the counter." I heard the rustle of clothes and he left, closing the door behind him. I moved as fast as I could, wrapping the towel tightly around my already chilling skin once I stepped out of the shower. Edward had gotten me a pair of jeans that were a size too big and a loose fitting cotton tee-shirt. I smiled, getting dressed slowly, not moving too much so as to not upset my stomach anymore. I couldn't take it if I vomited again. I towel dried my hair, planning on pulling it back when Edward knocked on the door. I opened it to let him in.

"Could I brush your hair?" he asked, blushing slightly and looking down.

I laughed softly, causing him to look up. "Of course." I asked softly. He took my hand and I made a grab for my brush before following after him. He sat down on my cot and pulled me onto his lap. I sighed, relaxing against him as he began to unknot the tangles. He worked slowly and sensually. I drifted off to sleep, leaning back against his chest a little. I felt him stop, but I was out of it, exhausted from the horrible morning I had of being sick.

"Love, wake up." Edward shook my hand gently. I blinked my eyes, groaning softly as I shifted, feeling my stomach gurgle at the action. "Careful, move slowly." Edward cautioned. I made it up and Edward helped me into his car. We were driving before I knew it. I dozed during the short drive, coming awake when the car stopped. "Are you alright Bella?" He asked, concerned as he came over to help me out of the car. I nodded, not trusting myself to open my mouth and not be sick. Edward hurried me inside, caught someone's eye and moved me to a room. I was amazed at how fast he got me situated on the plastic covered examination station. Not too long after I finally got comfortable Edward's dad walked into the room with my thick chart. I had been in the ER so many times I had one of the fullest charts in the hospital. It was shocking that I had never seen Edward's father before I met his son.

"Edward, Bella, nice to see you again." Carlisle nodded at both of us. I gave him a weak smile in return. "Now Bella, what seems to be the problem?"

I was afraid to answer, so I shot a look towards Edward, silently asking him to take the floor. "She's been vomiting almost nonstop for four days. She's showing signs of the flu, but she shouldn't be as sick as she is."

"Alright," Carlisle was making a note on my chart. Another added to hundreds. "Why don't we take some tests and see what's causing this?" I nodded, hanging my head to the side. I was so tired. I closed my eyes and leaned forward. I almost fell off the table, but Edward was instantly in front of me, stopping my fall. My head was cushioned against his chest and he was rubbing my back soothingly. "Let's get these done now." Carlisle said, going over to a cupboard. I closed my eyes, soothed by Edward's gentle heartbeat. I felt Carlisle pick up my arm, and Edward tightened his hold slightly. I opened my eyes just as Edward's dad slid the needle into my arm. I sat up straight, eyes wide.

"Bathroom!" I cried, hand covering my mouth. Edward dashed over and picked up a waste basket before handing it to me. I heaved into it, only liquid came out. I hadn't had much solid food to eat in a while. The needle was still in my arm, sucking my blood and I was getting dizzier than ever. I groaned slightly and Edward placed the barely full bucket on the floor, kicking it softly so it wouldn't be too close to us. I felt Carlisle extract the needle, but it didn't make me feel better.

"Bella, Bella can you hear?" Edward called. I nodded my head, feeling a pain start in my temple and travel down.

"Bella, maybe you should lay back. I'll go run these tests and see what I can come up with. It'll take maybe twenty minutes." Edward helped me lay down, placing a kiss on my sweaty forehead. "Edward, go to the cafeteria and get her some soup, or something light to eat. She needs to fill her stomach before she gets worse." I drifted off when I felt the bed move and then the door closed, leaving me alone in the room. I heard when Edward came back, producing a bowl of soup, but I could barely lift my head enough to open my eyes and see him.

"Bella, open your eyes. I brought you something to eat." I cracked open an eye to see Edward pulling a tray to lie over my lap. He placed the bowl with crackers on top of it and picked up a spoon. I opened my mouth when he spooned in some that he had cooled. I swallowed it, feeling it hit my empty stomach. I whimpered slightly. It was uncomfortable. "Try a cracker." He suggested, handing me one dipped in the soup. I chewed on it cautiously, letting it slide down my throat when I was finished. It didn't hurt as much. I took tentative bites, slowly working until the bowl was half empty. That was where I couldn't take it anymore. I shoved away from it gently and Edward cleared it from in front of me. "Are you feeling better?" he asked me in concern.

"As much as ever." I answered softly. Carlisle knocked on the doorjamb, coming in with my chart still in his hand. "Hello," I whispered shyly. Edward took my hand in his, holding tightly.

"Hello to you to Bella." He smiled over at me and his son. "Your results should be in in a couple of minutes. I thought I should run a few more tests, and just check on how you're doing overall." He was standing beside me and I struggled to sit up. "No need." He held up and hand and Edward helped me relax back against the chair. "I'll just take your temperature first."

"Okay," I told him shyly. He smiled and Edward kissed my head before pulling back, keeping his hand around mine though. Carlisle stuck a thermometer in my mouth, turning to talk to Edward once It was under my tongue.

"You should have brought her in sooner. Any longer and she could have become dehydrated, malnutrated. You know these things." Dr. Cullen scolded Edward gently but with a firm tone.

I mumbled around the object in my mouth. They both smiled slightly before Carlisle removed the thermometer. "It wasn't his fault." I told them with a slightly raspy voice. "I wouldn't let him bring me in. I thought it was just the flu." Dr. Cullen's pager went off and he looked at the readout.

"Well we'll know once I return." He gave me a smile and walked out the door, leaving Edward and I alone. I patted the side of the table.

"Sit with me?" I asked hesitantly. He sat next to me and pulled me into his arms, burying his head in my hair.

"I'm so sorry Bella."

"What on earth for?"

"I should have brought you in sooner. My dad was right. I know what could have happened, yet I didn't insist on taking you in. It could have been a lot worse than it is now." His eyes looked so dejected.

"It was my choice so the guilt falls directly onto my own shoulders. I know my body better than you do." He gave me a slow smile that spread warmth throughout my entire body. I shivered in his arms, causing his arms to tighten around my frame and his smirk to grow more pronounced.

"I defiantly argue that point love." He kissed me gently, a closed mouth kiss, pulling back slowly when his father walked in.

"At least there's no chance of Edward catching what you've got." Carlisle had a bright smile on his face. We both looked at him, completely confused. "Bella, the most that is wrong with you is that you are slightly dehydrated and are lacking essential nutrients, most likely due to the amount of vomiting you've been doing. Which brings me to the reason why you are being sick so much." He paused, his smile growing wider than ever. "Bella, you're pregnant."

"You're kidding." I said instantly. Edward was frozen behind me. "No, no. I can't be. I took a test several days ago. It was negative. I know it was!" I couldn't be, not so close after thinking I was. I had just gotten over the fear of it, and already it was back. I clutched Edward's hand and pulled myself into his body. "Edward I can't be. I can't. Not again." I mumbled against his chest.

"I take it this news isn't shocking, but it is unwelcome?" Carlisle picked up on things fast.

"Bella lost a child, not too long ago, Dad." Edward explained. "She's afraid she won't be able to carry the baby to term. Last time she had gotten an infection." I could hear papers rustling as Carlisle flipped though my past, making a small 'oh' sound when he found what he was looking for. "We had a close call last month or so, and thought it was just a mistake. Apparently, we weren't right about that."

"As a doctor I am obligated to ask if you would like to take care of it." I looked up at him, horrified. I heard his sigh of relief and felt Edward's relaxation of tense muscles when Carlisle acknowledged my facial features. "And as a father I am glad you are not going to. Having a child is a wonderful experience, and now that I know you're concerns, I will make sure and see to it that you have regular checkups and are attended to with great care. Just because you lost one, doesn't mean you'll lose another Bella. If ever you feel sick I want you to come to the hospital to have it checked out. I imagine you need time to think. Congratulations, and Son," he looked over at Edward. "You better not make a mess of things. And don't you dare hurt her." I could hear the threat in his voice and blushed. Edward chuckled behind me.

"Dad, no need to worry about that. I've already assured Bella that I'm not leaving until she wants me gone." He beamed suddenly. "I'm going to be a daddy." He said proudly.

"You best tell you're mother soon. I'm not sure how long I can keep this from her." He nodded to me and left, closing the door behind him. Edward turned me around in his arms so I could face him.

"Are you happy?"

"We didn't want this." I told him shakily.

"Are you happy?" he repeated.

"I don't want to lose it." I started tearing up, getting emotional.

"Are…you…happy?" he enunciated. I locked eyes with him, and knew that as long as he was by my side I could make it. We would make it. If he ever left me…I hoped I would never have to think about that.

"More than ever."


	21. Chapter 20

**So I know I said i'd update friday and saterday but I live in Delaware and we got 15 INCHES of snow so yea no update till now lol please review and check out my new story IIK**

**Chapter 20**

I was in Edward's car as we were driving back to my flat we still had a lot of things to talk about, I just hoped I could finish a sentance without vomiting. I closed my eyes and started to drift off to sleep as I felt Edward's hand on my stomach. I knew this made him happier then what I knew, and while I was happy as well I had more stress to worry about then Edward did. I had to keep our baby safe and heathy, this time around though I knew I would not fail, my baby was going to be born safe I'd be sure of it. I put my hand over Edward's and let a soft smile come to my lips and finally fell into a deep sleep.

"Bella, love you have to wake up and eat something. You need to stay well feed and keep your strengh up" I heard Edward say and I nodded and opened my eyes. At first I was slightly disorented because before I was in the car and well now I'm in an open room on my couch. Edward made up some toast and juice, I made a face as the orange juice smell hit my nose. Edward sat the plate down and quickly took the cup away and came back with water. I was happy to realise I could eat the toast and ate it quickly as I gulped down the water. I was about to ask Edward for something when I looked up and noticed the time and let out a dissapointed huff. Edward noticed.

"What is it love?" Edward asked and I played with the hem of my shirt not sure If I should ask or not. Edward lifted my chin with his thumb and forefinger giving me his "go ahead" look.

"Well I was just wondering if you could go and get me some ham and cheese hot pockets and a box of green tea, but I noticed the time and I knew you don't like driving in the lunch time rush and..." Before I could continue Edward put his finger up to my lips silencing me.

"Bella I'd be more then happy to get those things for you, now is there anyhting else you wanted" I pursed my lips in though and shook my head.

"Edward you really don't have to go, I'll go when the traffic dies down" I tried to reason and he shook his head no and giving me a look.

"Bella you are pregnant with my baby, of course I have to go and get your food. I'll try and be back soon you stay hear and rest" I smiled and nodded, I placed a chastied kiss on his lips as he walked out. I decided to call my old gynicoligest and set up an appointment, I looked threw the yellow pages and dialed the number provided.

"Hello this is Docter Weber, how may I help you" I heard the voice of an old familer friend.

"Hey there Angela it's Bella I need to sheadual an appointment sometime this week hopefully"

"Oh hey Bella it's nice to hear from you, what's the nature of your appointment" She asked and I took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant again" I said slowly and quietly as the information sunk in for my as well.

"Oh well then, it's been slow around hear as of late so luckly I can take you tomorrow around 3:30" I smiled.

"That's great Ang I'll see you tomorrow" and hung up the phone without her reply, I knew it was rude but I was tired I would appoligys later. I put the phone down and laied on the couch, it was insane for me to be as tired I was after all my naps but I was. I was awoken to feather light kisses on my stomach, I knew who it was. I smiled and put my hand in Edward's silky locks and played with his hair.

"Sorry love, I didn't mean to wake you up" I yawned and rubbed sleep out of my eyes. Edward was there sitting indian style staring at my stomach with wonder. I took his hand in mine and placed it on my tummy as it grumbled in hunger.

"Edward we need to talk about some things" I said and his expression grew serious and he nodded as he picked me up and took me to my little breakfast nook and put down a freash plate of hot pockets and a cup of green tea. I smiled my thanks and took a big bite and moaned. I was so happy that my little bout of morning sickness was over for now at least, I took a big swig of the green tea and wiped my mouth.

"How are we going to tell your mom" I asked Edward smiled and swept some hair from my face.

"Well we just tell her Bella, there's really no other way to do it" He chuckled and I gave him a horrifyed look.

"But Edward she's going to think I'm a slut or a harlet. A woman who goes out to get pregnant just to ruin her son's life" I yelled and stood up from the nook angerly and walked away with tears cascading down my cheeks as Edward followed me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Of course she's not Bella, and I want you to get something clear. You did not ruin my life. I want this baby and I want you I'm at a point in my life when having kids just makes since to me so please don't think that" He said and turned me around in his arms and I nodded and sniffed.

"Also I don't know what your plans are but I want you to consider moving in with me" I gasped and looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Edward I don't know I mean I know were going to have a baby together but don't you think moving in is just moving to fast" I asked as we sat down.

"Bella you know me better then anyone else it feels like I've known you for years not months. Anyway I'm just asking because I wanted you to have something to think about, you don't have to awnser it now" He said and kissed me. I gripped his hair in my fingers and swept my tounge over his bottem lip which he grasiously allowed me entrance to his sweet hot mouth. I stood up with our mouths still connected and pushed him on the couch and undid his belt and slipped his pants off. I dissconected our lips in a heated pant. I licked my lips as I looked to Edward's covered arousle that seamed to have taken a tented look to his boxers. I licked the tip of his member, he hissed and bucked hos hips to my face. I smirked and slid off his boxers and threw them somewhere in the room.

I took him in my mouth and started bobbing up and down. His legs opened wider as I scooted in closer. He fisted my hair and moved my head to his speed. What I couldn't take in I wrapped my hand around and moved then in tempo with my mouth. Edward moaned and tiled his head back as I curessed his balls with my free hand. I could tell he was close by the tighting in his balls as his moans got louder and his panting got faster.

"Oh god Bella so close" He panted out I took him in as deep as I could triggering my gag reflex, his eyes popped out of his head and with a final jerk relised himself into my mouth. I swallowed everything he gave me and licked him clean. Edward lifted my shoulders up and kissed my fully on the lips, when he broke away he smirked.

"My turn" he whispered and I giggled as he ajusted me to be below him He ripped my shirt off me and I gasped as he made quick work of my bra. He then attached himself to my right breast, I moaned and arched my back as I rubbed my soaked core on his growing erection. He placed heated kisses down my body but once he reached my stomach they turned sweet and he stopped to nessel himself in my tender flesh. I got up and quickly discarrded my jeans and panties and pushed Edward's chest so he was laying back down. I then sat above Edward's now fully engorged member as I started going down Edward's hands on my hips stopped me. I gave him a questioning look.

"I don't want to hurt the baby" He said and I smiled at his sweetness.

"Edward the baby is just the size of a penut maybe smaller you won't hurt it" I said and started going down as Edward slowly guided my hips down onto him. I bit my lip as I started to be filled with him. I settaled my hands on his chest as he filled me to the hilt. I rose a bit and bounced onto and we both moanded at the friction. We were going too slow I rocked my hips hoping to go faster when Edward got the message he turned us around and slid in and out of me at a madening pace. I wasn't going to last much longer and Edward knew this. Edward trailed his hand down my body to my secensitive nub and rubbed and pinched. I felt myself convoulse around him, it was so strong I arched my back and he realised into me.

"Oh god" I panted and Edward nodded as he struggled not to drop any of his body weight onto me. Edward took a deep breath and stood up and picked my up even though I struggled against him, he hushed me and took us to my room and I faced to where we were chest to chest and kissed him.

"I love you" I whispered he smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I love you too" He said and trailed his hand to my stomach "and you too" I smiled and cuddled farther into his body as I fell into a deep slumber. I woke up a little while later I couldn't understand why, I was still very tired so I stayed awake a for a little. Suddenly my mouth watered and my stomach convulsed a little. I had to throw Edward's hand off me and clamped my mouth shut as I hoped to make it to the toilet. I could have made a leap of joy of instead I leaned over the toilet and upchucked my entire meal that I had last night. Istayed in the bathroom for what seemed like forever when Edward knocked on the door.

"Yes" I crocked and continued to dry heave. Edward entered and was instantly by myside rubbing my back. Tears started to fall as I continued to dry heave. Edward kissed the back of my neck as he stood up.

"I'll be right back" He said and left. I sighed as the vomiting sensation left my body.I pushed my self away from the pocilen and flushed the sickness. I layed my head on the nice cool tile and sniffed, the coolness felt good on my over heated skin. Edward walked in then with a glass of dreen tea and a plate of toast he set it by the floor and picked my body up and put it on his. He stoked my hair and kissed my cheek.

"I'm so sorry Bella, you need to eat though" Edward said and he looked rather upset. I nodded and picked up the glass and chucged it down. I picked up some toast and started nibbling on it.

"Why are you sorry" I whispered around some toast. Edward blushed and a cheeky smile made it to his face.

"Well because technacally it's my fault your in this state" I chuckled and wraped my arms around his neck.

"I don't mind too much. Anyway what time is it" I asked Edward kissed my temple.

"When I was in the kitchen it said it was about 3:30am." He said I sighed and stood up while takeing my dishes and I left them on the bathroom counter I would take care of it later. I went my cot and fell asleep so fast I didn't even notice that Edward didn't immidetly join me. I woke much later and this time there was no morning sickness. I got out of bed and walked in the bathroom to get the dishes but wasn't supprised to see they weren't where I left them.

I walked out to the livingroom area and saw Edward with a cup of coffee walking around and looking at all of my paintings. I smiled and walked back to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I came out and saw Edward lightly touching the charcole painting of the woman and the girl.

"You like that one?" I asked and Edward whipped himself around.

"Of course, there's so much emotion so much....pain" I smiled sadly and nodded. It was.

"I still wasn't over losing my first baby, I still had nightmares of being alone, I still rember the physical pain of having a miscarrage as well." I said as tears welled in my eyes. Edward put down his cup and embraced me.

"How about we get ready and go and visit my parents" Edward whispered and I tenced but nodded.

"I have an appointment with a gynacoligst at 3:30 today" I told him as we walked to my room.

"So soon?" He asked wondering how I got an appointment so fast.

"Yeah well it helps that's she's an old high school friend and that her office has been slow lately" I said as I picked out my outfit, I chose some black buisness pants and a red sweater. I brushed my hair and walked out to eat a healthy breakfast of a simple banana and water.

"Ready to go" Edward asked as he walked out in a simple jean pants and white tee.

"Lets get this over with" I said and grabbed Edward's hand as we walked out to his car. I was a little bit nervouse about telling Esme about the pregnancy. Carlisle seamed to take it just fine, but this was Esme's only son, I just hope she wouldn't think me to be not enough for her son.


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**BTW I replaced the last AN with a chapter so go read that if you haven't and remember REVIEW PLEASE!!**

We were parked outside Edward's parent's house and I could see Carlisle keeping Esme inside the house by the part in the living room curtains. He knew we were going to tell her, and he didn't want her interfering, or rushing us along. Edward had long ago shut off the ignition, waiting patiently for me to make a move to get out of the car. "Bella, sooner or later, she's going to weasel it out of my dad, or it's going to slip. She will love the fact that we're having a baby. Don't doubt it so much."

"I don't want her to think I'm cheap." I admitted. Edward cupped my chin in his hand, turning my cheek to face his serious expression.

"If she says one bad thing about you, we'll walk right out that door, but I promise. She will love you. And the baby, nothing is going to change. She thinks you're a fabulous artist and she knows I love you. Now you just have to convince yourself that she will love you no matter what."

He made a valid point, and upon making it he exited the car, coming around to help me out. I took a deep breath. This was it. Please don't let her hate me. I thought as I timidly stepped out of the car, hanging tight to Edward's hand. We walked slowly up the steps; all the while I was praying that I wouldn't have a panic attack. Deep, deep, deep down, way down, I knew she wouldn't hate me, but there was a part of me that knew she was bound to hate the girl who took away her son's future. In a family like Edward's a woman should be married to a man she loves, it doesn't matter if he loves her back or not, before she had a baby. That was the way of things in upscale families. That was the last thing running through my mind when Edward knocked soundly on the door, which was thrown open almost instantly by a worried and concerned Esme.

"What's wrong? What took you two so long to come in here?" she asked, pulling Edward into a tight hug, ushering us both in before she took me into a hug too. I hugged her back timidly, not wanting to have her regret this. No one should have to go through the emotional distress I was currently living through.

"We have something we would like to tell you mother." Edward gripped my hand tightly in his own. I nodded mutely as Esme gestured towards the cleverly decorated living room. I stopped cold in the threshold of the living area. Above the mantle of the extravagant fireplace was my pastel painting in a dark gold frame, bringing out the tints of the golden brown of Killer. I was probably the only one able to see it though. I could see the different hues of a color; I knew when red had too much purple, not enough blue. I could see the thing balance of the colors, knowing whether they blended or clashed. I had an eye for these things, and the way Esme and Carlisle had set up their living room was perfect. You could see she had a knack for decorating, and unlike most people she was actually good at it. I continued to stare at the fireplace, limply standing in place. I have always seen my work on display at shows, but coming into someone's home and seeing it mounted proudly on the wall was a different matter altogether. I felt a rush, brushing at my eyes when the renegade tears fell. If Esme couldn't accept me now of all times, I would break. Literally. I wouldn't be able to stand it if she thought I wasn't worthy of her son. I cared so much about the family already.

"Here darlings, have a seat." Esme swept her hand out before her, indicating that we should take whichever seat we choose. I sat on the edge of the loveseat, having Edward sit directly next to me. He still gripped my hand tightly to reassure me. Carlisle and Esme sat next to each other on one of the longer couches. They sat silently, waiting for Edward and I too take the lead. I knew Edward was waiting for me. But I wasn't sure how to broach the subject. Luckily after two minutes of tangible silence Mrs. Cullen got antsy. "What's happened?" she asked curiously, probably fearing something was wrong.

"Mrs. Cullen," I ignored her startled look. After all she had insisted I call her Esme, and I wasn't. I couldn't yet. "I went to the doctor recently," No need to tell her how recent, "and found out something." I paused, not able to finish. Edward squeezed my hand reassuring, letting me set the pace myself.

"Are you alright dear? Is something wrong?" Esme had bright eyes, brimming with unshed tears.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm pregnant. With Edward's child." I told her, smiling weakly. All was still for a long three agonizingly long seconds before I caught up in petite but powerful arms.

"This is wonderful news! A grandchild, I can't believe this! This is fabulous! Oh my, I know I shouldn't be crying, but I just can't stop! I'm so happy!" She gushed, causing a chain reaction with the tears in my own eyes. I never knew she'd be this happy for us. Of all the possible outcomes, this was the farthest one from how I thought this would turn out. It wasn't even one of the possibilities! I wouldn't let myself think it could be so I wouldn't be disappointed.

"You're not upset?" I asked through my tears.

"I never thought my little Edward would ever settle down and have children, let alone a wife. Now both? I always worried he'd be alone in the long run!"

Uh oh, backup. Let's rewind here. _Wife? _Edward didn't seem the least bit phased by this sudden outcome. He had never asked me to be his wife though. Did I want to be? Hell yes I did. Maybe if I had married Jacob then he wouldn't have left. Did I just want to marry Edward because I was afraid he would leave me? No. I loved him, but the bigger problem was he hadn't asked me. I didn't even know where he saw us in five years, if we were still together, or if he simply stopped by sometimes to see his child. He says he loves me, but those are just words. He's defiantly showed it through his actions, but in the long run, is that really going to be enough?

I glanced towards Edward, letting him take the floor. He remained passive, trading knowing smiles with his father. I decided to remain silent and let Edward eventually dig us out of this hole. Esme gushed and ranted for the rest of the visit, until Edward pointed out that we needed to get going. I was due for my appointment in half an hour. We got to the car after a large amount of watching Esme cry, Carlisle congratulate us, as if he didn't already know, and after wading through all that we finally made our way to Edward's car. I was stony silent in the front seat, replaying the marriage conversation. Would he ask me to marry him? Would he want to marry me? If he decided not to ask me, how would we tell Esme? Would this be the one thing that made her think less of me that I wasn't good enough for her son to marry, just to impregnate? I knew this was wrong, but I couldn't help the way I thought.

"Are we going to talk about this now?" Edward asked as he drove to the doctor's office.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked softly.

"Do you want to get married?" I thought about it for a moment.

"Yes, but…"

"Not to me?" he guessed.

"That's absurd! I love you." I told him earnestly.

"And I you my darling." He told me seriously, twining our hands together above the console.

"But I don't want to get married just for the baby's sake. If I end up losing it… I don't want you to regret this…"

"Never, no regrets. And if you lost the baby, and we'll make sure that chance is slim to nothing, I'll still love you. I loved you before, and I'll love you after. I'll always love you."

"But now we come to a bigger problem." I pointed out as I pointed out the directions.

"And that would be?" Edward followed my instructions.

"You never asked me." I told him softly.

"Hhmm, that is a problem." He gave me a teasing smile. "I'm not going to ask you now, when I have no ring or anything. But there is something I want you to consider."

"What's that?" He pulled into a parking slot and shut of the ignition.

"You need to decide if you want this child to be born before or after we're married. It won't bother me, but I need you to decide if you want this child out of wedlock or not. You can let me know when you decide. You don't have to tell me now." He got out and opened my door for me. "We can figure all this out later." He kissed my cheek and held on to my hand as he led me inside. The decision was up to me, hopefully I wouldn't screw it up.

The interior was just as I remembered it. Bright and cheerful while being calming and soothing. I signed in and took a seat with Edward. I picked up a magazine and Edward started messing with his phone. We waited until I was called, and Edward asked if I wanted to go alone. I reassured him it was okay for him to come in, and if he got uncomfortable or anything he was liable to leave. He wrapped an arm around my waist as a nurse led us to a room. The nurse took my weight and blood pressure.

"Are you okay Miss. Swan? Your blood pressure is a little bit spiked and I can't get an accurate reading. I'll have Angela do it when she comes in...It'll give you a chance to calm down." The nurse said and patted my knee. I smiled and nodded. As she left I went and sat on Edward's lap needing his comfort. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back.

"Why are you so worried?" He asked in a hushed tone as a few tears fell from my eyes.

"I don't want anything to be wrong already." I moaned into Edward's chest.

"It's ok Bella I'm sure everything will be fine, just relax." He said and I nodded as someone knocked on the door. I got up and sat in the free chair and called the person in. When I saw a very familiar face I smiled and hopped down to run over and hug her. The brown haired doctor smiled and hugged me back.

"It's nice to see you again Bella." Angela said and I nodded and stepped back. It was slightly funny to see Ang's shocked expression when she saw Edward.

"Alright Bella go ahead and sit up on the table so I can check you out." Ang said and smiled. I sat up on the crinkly paper cot and Angela grabbed my arm to wrap the blood pressure cuff around my bicep. Angela took the readings and pushed me to lie down. She lifted up my shirt and started to feel around on my lower stomach.

"Everything feels normal, do you want a picture of the baby?" I looked towards Edward to see him sitting at the edge of his seat. When our eyes met he nodded vigorously. I looked back up and nodded, she smiled and went to the edge of the cot and unhooked the stirrups and went to a cabinet and got out a paper gown and handed it to me.

"You can get changed into that while I go and get the sonogram." she said. As she left she locked the door. I started to take off my shirt and pants as Edward watched unashamed. I rolled my eyes and when I was just in my bra and panties Edward smirked because he thought I was just going to drop my panties. I rolled my eyes and put on the uncomfortable paper garment.

"Can you tie me up?" I asked and heard Edward huff as he started messing with the ties before I bent down and took off my panties.

"Tease." He muttered into my neck as he finished up and sat as the door sounded with a knock.

"I'm decent." I said and Ang pushed in a large machine and my eyes bugged out.

"Um that is different then the last time I had this done." I said and she chuckled.

"Yes well last time you were 12-13 weeks pregnant and the other machine was able to pick up a picture and heartbeat, but this time your only about 5-6 weeks and if you want a picture you have to use this one." She said and pointed. I swallowed, staring with my eyes huge. Edward moved his chair to be next to me and held my hand.

"O-okay." I said nervously. Angela patted my calf and got out a large skinny wand and the doc told me to put my feet in the stirrups, then I figured where that wand was going. She put an anti-bacterial thin sheet on it and added some gel.

"Ok this is going to be slightly uncomfortable." She warned. I nodded as it intruded my most sensitive part. She held it with one hand and started turning knobs, and then she smiled.

"See that small tiny dot?" She said and I nodded, in the corner of my eyes I saw Edward nod as well with tears in his eyes.

"That's your baby." She whispered. I smiled as tears flowed down my face. She pulled the wand out and I arched in discomfort.

"I'm sorry Bella. Everything looks to be going fine. Your baby is growing nice and healthy. I'm going to prescribe you some pre-natal vitamins and print out some pictures, then you can make another appointment and be on your way." Ang smiled and left. I got up and quickly put on my clothes. I launched myself into Edward's arms and he hugged me back just as fiercely.

"That was our baby Edward." I said and tightened my arms.

"It was Bella, It was." He kissed the top of my head before wrapping his arms around me as we walked out the door and to the back waiting room, where I set up an appointment and waited for our pictures. They were in an envelope, so I grabbed it, gave Angela a hug goodbye and walked with Edward out to the car. I kept the pictures sealed until Edward pulled away from the doctor's office. When we got to the first light Edward glanced my way and I took a deep breath, preparing to open the envelope. I pulled the flap open and pulled out the contents. The light turned green and Edward roared through just to get stuck at the next one. I had the pictures out by now and stared at them with tears in my eyes. I flipped them over to show to Edward, and the grin that plastered his face was priceless. "It's beautiful." And I agreed, even if we couldn't make out the shape. It was ours, and it was beautiful.

"Edward, should we tell the gang? I know they'll be excited, but I want to make sure you're okay with it first." I told Edward as he drove us to his home.

"It's entirely up to you love." Edward told me, kissing my knuckles. "I'm fine either way. Maybe you could meet up with the girls, let them know. Just the three of you." Edward knew exactly what to say. This was exactly the right thing to do. I could tell them, get feedback, maybe even see little Ethan. It's been so long since I've seen my godson.

"That's a great idea Edward, and while we're at it, maybe you, Jazz and Em could get together too. Quality guy time." I smiled as he laughed.

"If they'll go for it, I've got no problem."

"And they won't either. I'll set everything up when we get home." If wasn't lost to either of us that I had just called Edward's house my home. It was our home, if he wanted it to be.


	23. Chapter 23

**Unfortunately any story with a sexual scenes are being taken down, luckily I went to a new site called ( the writers coffee shop . com ) just remove the () and spaces then you'll be there, I have uploaded Weight of The World, already and there's even a nifty banner that I made, so all you have to do is go there and look me up, I have the same name Colorguard_girl. Also review which stories you want me to save and soon please because I'm almost positive that most of my stories will be taken down. So review!**


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